Not So Fab Pt. 1A Chapter by V. Germanotta Dani describes her life as of so far. Bear in mind that it's not exactly happy-go-lucky Gallagher Creating Young Men and Women to Serve a Higher
Purpose Schedule
for semester 1, grade 10 Danica A. Parker 7:00 Announcements 7:10 Chemistry-
Mr. Croswell 7:35 AP NSL- Mme. DuPont 8:00 Study Hall-
Mr. Rodriguez 8:25 Honors
English- Mrs. Klatz 8:50 Specialty 1-
Rotational- Performing Arts- Mrs. Cleary Internship
Prep- Mr. Pormacado 9:15 Chorus- Mrs.
Curtsail 9:40 Technology
Education- Mr. Fitzhugh 10:05 Mathematic
Review- Mrs. Marks 10:30 Specialty 2-
Rotational- Meetings- Mrs. Paul Musical
Composition- Mrs. Ramos Advisory-
Mr. Fonze 10:55 Aerobics
& Fitness- Mr. Hertz-Moore 11:20 Cooking 101-
Mrs. O’Connor/ Mrs. Kay 11:45 Lunch 12:45 Free Period 1:10 Jr.
Entrepreneurs (Double Period) - Mrs. Federal 1:55 Dismissed Gallagher
Institute Uniform Requirements Girls: Ordinary School Day: • Jumper dress with white
button down underneath and stockings or tights • Blazer over sweater vest
over white button down shirt paired with the pleated uniform skirt over tights
or stockings or calf length socks • Khaki/denim ankle-length
pants with white button down shirt under blazer Shoes: • Shoes must be in the
school colors of navy, red, silver/grey, black, or white or you may wear brown/gold
shoes. Refrain from brightly colored
shoes, please. • High heels must not
surpass 2 ½ in. in length Gym Uniform: • Designated school gym
shirt • Grey, black, or navy
school sweat pants • White, black, or grey
socks, preferably calf length • White or black tennis
shoes All Accessories are approved unless it has profanity or hateful
meanings. Expect to be subject to dress inspection at least once a day Boys: Ordinary School Day: • Navy dress pants with
white button down shirt under navy or red sweater vest and tie • Navy dress pants with
white button down shirt and navy blazer and tie • Khaki trousers with
sweater vest or blazer and white button down shirt and tie Shoes: • Black dress shoes Gym Uniform: • Designated school gym
shirt • Black, navy, or grey
sweat pants • White, black, or grey
socks, preferably calf length • Black or white tennis
shoes. All
skirts must hit at least one inch above the knee. All clothes must be properly
washed. You must wear at least one of your school emblem patches each day.
Tuesday and Thursday are casual days and you may wear jeans on these days.
Jeans may not have any holes bigger than the size of a quarter. 8/30 10:00 PM My Room Tomorrow is the first day back to school. Yippee!
Because I’m so damn excited, you know? So yeah, if you’re getting the vibe that
I’m not happy, I’m not. My mom says that I’ve grown attitudinal. I admit, I as more “yay go me!” before, but that
was last year. Before I became a teenager. Before that bullying b*tch Cassandra
Lipe entered my life in a whirlwind of straight, blonde hair and watery, grey
eyes. I swear that girl could freeze hell over. No worries, we’ll see when she
dies. Or someone kills her. But I’m so much happier than the last few weeks of
school because I haven’t had to put up with her for the whole summer. I’ve been
away in I guess my mom is right to force me to write in a
diary. She wants me to get out all of my “bad feelings and only have room in
that big heart for good ones”. Well, mommy… I love you. So I’ll do it. And I
mean, how many bad feelings can one person. Maybe she sensed that school was
putting me in a bad mood. Or that I’m a teenager with hormones. Of course it’s
hard writing all the time. SO I guess I’ll log everything onto my laptop as
soon as I get to it. Or I’ll just go directly to the laptop, if I can. Okay, so where do I start? I’m Danica-Aurum
Dorothy-Aurora Hart-Singer Johnson-Parker. My mom is Jada Hart-Singer and my
dad is Curtis Johnson-Parker. She’s old money, he earned his money. And he
forced her to get a job. She is now a restaurateur. And he has his business,
TeleTech. So yeah, that’s them. I’m me. I work at Mrs. Wong’s Farmers Market
and I live in I’m mixed. Yeah. I have, within about 5 generations
of my fathers family I am British (originally African, but John Parker was sent
to My mom, Jada’s grandfather was really smart. He was a
professor, anthropologist, and author. He made a lot of money, but they already
had a lot because that’s basically what all of their family did after the first
Edward in her family (there are 8). His father was born into money, from having
connections to royalty and banking. He married a Russian woman, though he was
British and French. Edward V was in the army and he was sent to My dad’s great-great-great grandfather, John Parker,
married a Japanese woman. He was British and black, but yeah, he went for the
military and came back to And now, here I am. Stuck between two crazy different
worlds; on one side is my mom teaching me the ways of the classy, royal people
and in the other is my dad trying to teach me the values of money. And my
grandparents are no help. My mom’s father is Russian and “the big mix” and he
spoils her and me, so much. He lives in So yeah. There’s the family overview. And that’s
basically it. I’m usually really happy, smart, sweet, outgoing, and funny. So
yep. I’m going to take a nap until the morning. Good night! 8/31 8:56 PM Dinner at Per Se Honestly. I don’t even know why we’re here in this
stupid private room in Per Se. My dad told me it was “a congratulatory dinner
for having a good day at school” but if that’s true why is Marty Hart and his
wife and son? My dad’s supposed to be sucking up to them for funding for a
project he’s working on. They want “spy gear for kids” and he wants it to be
just spy gear. They want him to downgrade so I’m listening to them discuss why
it SHOULDN’T be for kids. And their son…well, let’s just say he’s no Parish
Kirkpatrick. I saw Parish and his flippy-floppy brown hair and his beautiful
tanned skin and his gorgeous green eyes today! Why? I have two classes with
him! I hope his guidance counselor doesn’t move him. And I don’t really care about meeting Chris Hart.
He’s a jerk. Maybe he thinks he’s so awesome because he looks like a poor man’s
Kellan Lutz, but he isn’t. He’s scrawnier, by far! I’ve known him for a while.
He goes to Collegiate in the Well, let’s see. He’s telling me all about how he
goes to Collegiate and is on the track team and how he writes in Prufrock. I
don’t really care! Dude, you’re such a tool! He’s just trying to get in my
pants. And I have to sit across from him. My mom’s being such the lady… the
perfect wife. When my father jokes, she giggles softly. She’s engaging Mindy
Hart in conversation. And I have the feeling I’m not being a lady or a good
daughter because I’m hardly listening to what Chris is saying. Not that he
notices. He’s just talking and eating. Tra-la-la-la-la, he’s probably thinking.
Oh, he just looked at me. “What are you doing?” he asked me, a little miffed. “Oh, I’m just recording all of the interesting things
you say. For my memoirs. You’re quite interesting, you know,” I said. He’s
smiling now. Great he’s talking again. I didn’t see Cassandra B*tch all day. I
think I saw a whoosh of blonde, straight hair and a bony nose and I think I had
heart palpitations for a second. That ended and I ran to my next class. God, what is wrong with me. Oh wait, nothing.
Something’s definitely wrong with her, though. Ugh, whatever. I don’t care. I
should stop writing so I don’t get in trouble. I sort of like having a journal J Wearing: A black satin shirt-dress with black, lacey
stockings and black Coach pumps. Giant white pearl earrings, red lipstick, low
hanging pearl necklaces, ivory and gold bracelet, smoky eye-shadow in black and
silver, hair curled. 9/1 1:00 PM Library I think I am dead; because I’m totally in heaven.
Chris was so ew-nnoying and after dinner my dad gave me $500 for putting up
with that. Yesterday at school was great. I have a good amount of classes with
Janetta, Bjork, and Martin, my best friends. They’re the “three best friends
that anyone could have!” We went to lunch with Keanna and one of our
acquaintances, Marianne. We went to Au Bon Pain, grabbed some quick lunch and
then headed back to school in time. I wore: The school’s designated navy blue blazer, a lace tank
top under my white button-down, my red pleated skirt (rolled up to be a little
shorter because it’s way to long sometimes) and lacy stockings with white Doc
Marten boots with silver fleur-du-lis patterning all over. I wore diamond
earrings with a diamond bracelet from Tiffany’s, clear lip-balm and eyeliner. All of my teachers are good except Ms. Marks. Already
I don’t like her. She’s stupid. I think I could teach math better than her. And
this review is for me to fill my schedule with useless math, because I already
took Algebra 2. I skipped geometry and took it over the summer last year. I’m
bad at math, but I’m not stupid. Then I had my classes with Parish and I was in
heaven. No signs of Cassandra yet. Let’s keep it like that. It’s only Tuesday
and I am so happy already. Bad luck? Who cares? Okay, quickly because I have to
run to Jr. Entrepreneurs (to see Parish!). I’m wearing: Khaki Bermuda shorts with a white button down that’s
unbuttoned to reveal a “Sarah in Black Eye” Rock and Republic t-shirt with
“Romy in Pewter” strappy heels with chains hanging on the side. Bullet earrings
(mommy hates them!) and red lipstick with my hair blown-out like a wild rock
star. Plain eyeliner. Later 1:24
PM Jr. Entrepreneur’s I just saw Cassandra Lipe. She passed our room and
then doubled back when she saw me. I was talking to Parish about the midterm
assignment. She slit her eyes at me and frowned before stalking on. Damn. 9/3 6:00
AM My room Sometimes I wake up and I feel like my heart is in
fog. Covered in darkness. And I have no idea why. I’m going back to sleep. Later 9:45 PM My room I took a Seventeen magazine test about depression. I fit the bill. My parents say I'm going back to school tomorrow, no matter what. 9/4 3:00 PM My room I’ve seen Cassandra several times since “The
Incident” my friends and I have come to call it. She snickers at me and says
rude things. Whatever. I’m not gonna let her ruin this year for me. When she saw advertisement’s for the upcoming musical
(more info later) she saw me reading one and started taunting me. I just looked
at her and went in the opposite direction. Whatever. 9/6 10:59 PM My
Room L 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
1 GRAMMY’S AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My mother is…
pre-preg-pregn-pregnan-pregnant! Uh-huh! I said it! THIS IS TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE!
Now we’ll be poor, plus my mom is so irresponsible that she will drown the baby
in salt pork from the Big Wok! It’s practically like when they have those
saline injections to the amniotic sac when a woman wants an abortion. But then
again… this might be good. 1.
She won’t bug me
24/7 2.
I’ll get the 2nd
guest room which is bigger than my room. 3.
She’s going to
need to buy new clothes, b/c my mother wears very tight outfits. She’ll be out
of the house! We live in a 3-level apartment in NYC, the best place
on the planet. It’s in I suppose I should have known something was up. We
went to Macaroni Grill & my mom hates going to Macaroni Grill because she
had a fight with a waiter there. And she calls it “common”. But she knows I
like it. For a family worth over a billion dollars, I still eat in “common”
places because as my dad has so aptly said, I’m no better than anybody else. She didn’t
even bother faking like nothing was up. She was smiling goofy-like. I had chicken
parmesan. YUM! That’s when she told me. She just blurted it out when she was ordering.
“I’M PREGNANT!” she shouted. And I looked at her and frowned and my nose turned
red and she said “No sodium for me,” and then she looked down at her menu. After dinner we went to this cool place called Vespa
owned by my mom’s college friend, Jinx McAdams. It’s a bakery/bar/night club.
People my age, 14, can get in because they don’t really serve very much alcohol
there. Like at restaurants, they serve alcohol, but don’t let young people
drink. It’s kind of like… Okay there are rooms where they serve alcohol &
people dance. Then there are rooms where people sit down & enjoy a nice
pastry & tea. It’s like some rooms were made for tea parties, while others
were made for raves. The room we went to was covered in light blue & cream
& gold. Like One of the bars had alcoholic names for pastries. A
Crown Royale was a crunchy, brown, caramel dipped pastry puff. They have a Starbucks
cart, Cold Stone cart & Hägen Daz cart. I ended up having these great sugar
cookies that were better than the ones they have at SubWay, which are good in
themselves. And they had lemon, lime, sugar cubes, crème, and
different types of tea and coffee on the table. It was so classy. Anyways, we had a really ugly waitress named
Marisopa. She had beautiful pale skin that was ruined by the blotchy red spots
on her face. She had a big, long nose that looked a shark fin or something, and
her ears were too pointy. She asked us what we wanted to drink. Me: Vanilla bean frappucino from the Starbucks cart,
please. 2 shots caramel (I held up 2 fingers). Marisopa: O-okay. And what about you, sir, what would
you like? (She was eyeing my dad. I
think my dad’s foxy. He’s mixed with a lot of different nationalities. Both of
my parents are! My dad’s tall, muscular yet lean, and caramel skinned with a
short hair cut. My mom is tall, too, and she’s thin and curvy. She has lighter
skin, it’s kind of like… crème and coffee. Lots of crème and a little bit of
coffee, I guess. You can tell she isn’t Caucasian though.) Daddy: Um, lady’s first. (He started holding my mom’s
hand, which he doesn’t do very often. He was also suspicious of the ugly
waitress). In case you
didn’t know, my mom is territorial. When she starts to slit her eyes &
purses her pink lips, duck & cover. The green in her eyes flare up, like
they’re trying to show the jealousy. Mom: First of all, I’d like a chamomile tea. Second,
do not hit on my husband. Marisopa: Oh, really? (She slit her eyes, which just
made her look uglier) Well, fine then. (She batted her eyelashes at my dad,
which also made her look uglier. She looked like George on Seinfeld when he got grapefruit juice in his eye & he looked
really sketchy. BTW, her smile is terrible. Her teeth looked like a shark’s
mouth. Like " Miley Cyrus teeth. But her lips are thin & chaffed.) Dad: I’d like to order now. Marisopa: (Syrupy sweet) really? What can I do for
you, sweetie? Dad: Puh-lease! Neither the time nor the place. And
there will be none, either! I just want water & nothing in it. Me: DAD! Dad: And a different waitress. Marisopa: FINE! So this new, nice, pretty waitress with a wedding
ring came out. I like her a lot & my dad also did. He looked at her butt
(Marisopa didn’t have one), my mom slapped him. Everything was back to normal. Then
my mom was like “I’m preggers, Dani! What if that woman had spiked my drink?
I’d have a retarded baby!” I frowned, of course. Way to bring it up again, mom!
Way to make me remember after I had temporarily forgotten, or at least blacked
that moment out of my mind. Way. To. Be! Anyways, I was really tired because in gym we had to
run. And we had to run from 1:15 to 1:30, nonstop. I hate running. And one of my
best friends, Bjork Purdam, hates it more than I do. She told Mr. Hertz-Moore
(yes, I know) “HELL to the NO!” But even
though I was cised about it then, I’m not now. No, because we have to run again
tomorrow. Bjork may have brown hair and icy blue eyes, but
sometimes she thinks like a blonde. And I know she’s thinking of going blonde,
which I hope she isn’t really going to do. I’m lazy. I don’t run. I’d rather be dancing. I mean,
I used to like running. But then I got these weird foot pains & I can’t run
for a long time or it hurts. I just like going fast & feeling the wind on
my face. Sometimes when I run & it doesn’t hurt, I remember when I loved
it. And I want to keep going. But… you really can’t when you live in Anyways, by 10 PM I was so sleepy I zonked out &
went to sleep in the Town Car. My dad is the creator of TeleTech (which is not
only a technology company but a weapon designing company) and he had them send
us a Town Car. Tonight there was a benefit, but we didn’t go. My dad is friends
with the benefit leader & he will tell him all about it. Anyways, we took
the Town Car to dinner & my dad told Mr. Kaminski, his PR man, that we were
at the benefit. So I guess that’s why I
couldn’t see any paparazzi. More on my fame later. 9/6 5:00
PM My Room I just finished my homework. My bestie Janetta Leo
just went home. I love Janetta and she’s gorgeous. She’s black and she has such
a smooth complexion. She’s 5’ 10” and I guess average build and she has huge
brown eyes. She’s so pretty! And talented! She dances s and sings so well!
She’s always practicing, because she’s trying to prove herself to her dad, who
only goes by Leo, because he owns a record company and he’s a producer. I say
if he doesn’t know how amazing she is, then he’s a dick. She wants to be
signed, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be signed to him. She just
wants to show him what she’s made of. My other best friend, Bjork and I just got off the
phone, studying after Janetta left. Bjork is so gorgeous but she’s a dope.
She’s got brown hair and icy blue eyes, but she might as well be blonde because
she’s dumb as a stump. However, my baby is gorgeous and is such the
fashionista. If she goes blonde, hopefully it’ll be platinum because she can
rock that. Mmmm and Martin is so cute! He’s a lean little gay
boy. He’s sort of emo, but he’s also flamboyant. I love him so much. He has
light blonde hair and green eyes and lips to die for! I love my friends. And I
miss them. Yesterday I talked to my crush Parish. I think he’s
black and Spanish. Anyways, we were chatting on Facebook and he was telling me
how he thinks I’m going to get the lead in the school musical this year, like I
did for the second show of the year in freshman year, last year. And he was
saying how I was way pretty to be playing the Wicked Witch of the West. But I’m
nowhere near as pretty as Idina Menzel, except for the nose. Nor am I as
talented. He disagrees. *Shrug* I don’t care though. I may like him way too
much and I may flirt with him every single day in English, Advisory, and Jr.
Entrepreneurs, but he cannot tell me that I’m better than Idina Menzel. If he
ever said I was better than Lady Gaga, I’d think him retarded. 9/7 7:50 AM AP NSL *Sigh* I’m wearing a jumper
dress with white button down underneath and green stockings with purple
Louboutins. My make-up is green eye shadow with purple eyeliner. I’m wearing a
Vivienne Westwood lighter around my neck. I stole the idea from Shin in the
manga Nana and I had it made for me. It’s beautiful. I’m wearing black pearls
in my ears, and my pink streak in my brown hair is hanging down. My blonde streak
in the back is tucked into a ponytail. The jumper feels a little small. My
b***s are a C-cup now, so I should do something about that. 9/8 10: 15 AM Math
Review I honestly hate Ms. Marks.
She’s a fat w***e and I hate her. She can’t even teach well! F*cking b*itch! I
got a C on the self-quiz! And it’s because I didn’t understand it whatsoever!
B*tch! Later 11:26 AM Cooking
101 I’m feeling a little better.
I’m helping cook a lot for the Halloween Potluck that’s going to be frozen and
thawed for Halloween. I’m wearing a navy blue blazer over a navy blue sweater
vest over a white button down shirt paired with my green, red, and navy blue
pleated uniform skirt over red stockings and my chocolate 9/8 9:02 AM Performing
Arts (Rotational 1) Huh. I woke up this morning
feeling just delightful! Better than I’ve felt in quite a while, to be honest.
Ever since the whole thing with Cassandra Lipe at the end of last year and
everything she’s been saying as of late, I’ve been feeling sad and stuff. But I
feel so great today. So much better than I’ve felt in a while. Yesterday
Cassandra wasn’t at school and I asked Cameron Tory why and she said Cassandra
went on vacation. Yeah, baby! OK, so I expect nothing crazy will happen while
she’s away. I feel like a weight has been lifted from on my heart. I am old,
careless, happy Danica who has a stupid allowance of $300 (even though in
middle school I had no allowance, I got whatever I wanted. Only last year did I
start getting an allowance of $200; this year $300. If I get all A’s it’ll go
up to $500.) Um okay, so I’m wearing a
grey jumper dress with white button down underneath and hot pink stockings.
Nobody follows the “refrain from brightly colored clothes”. We’re who we are.
Black, wingtip eyeliner, hot pink eye shadow, studded belt, with bullet
earrings, which my mom hates. 9/13 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 21 GRAMMY’S No time! Don’t know the time, either! Big sale at
Bergdorf’s! I can afford something on my $300-a-month allowance and minute
wages from Mrs. Wong’s farmer’s market arranging the displays, what now baby?
Yeah! 9/16 Grammy’s were good. I went with my best friend in the
whole wide world, Janetta, because of her music mogul dad and superstar singer
mom. I liked it. I wore a red and black Vivienne Westwood dress and was printed
in Us Weekly. Mom is at doctors and I’m with her. BORING. I could write. I would write. But not a single thing is
going on that should inspire me to do so. And so I won’t. LATER Oh. Oh God, this is horrible. Cassandra Lipe is
coming back. ON THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH! Luckily, I have no classes with her
and she’ll be playing catch-up. She’ll hopefully not bother me. Her and her
long nose better stay the f*ck away from me, before I f*cking bash my own
brains out! She’s so persistent in annoying me! Oh, well, gotta go and suck up
the last rays of happiness and freedom before she returns. 10/5 9:30 AM Chorus Erica & I are no longer friends. Erica Ansenburndt
(Russian; blonde hair, blue eyes, relatively thin; stomach, thighs are pure
fat. Eats too much junk food. Otherwise, nice enough body) was one of my many
best friends. But " I guess she isn’t anymore. I always knew that Erica
wouldn’t last very long. She was never a really good friend. She was actually
very b****y & she complained a lot. Anyways, since period 1 Erica & I haven’t spoken.
It’s all Alöba’s fault. Al (mousy Asian girl who wears glasses, jeans, a
hoodie, and a fitted t-shirt everyday) & I used to be friends, but not
really anymore. I hate Erica & I hate Alöba! They both SUCK! All I said was that Mrs. O’Connor said to move the
tables back, so that we could fit the huge cauldron in there. Mrs. O’Connor is
a really great teacher. She’s been teaching us to make food using cauldrons
because Halloween is coming & we’re supposed to be having some sort of
potluck dinner in 2 weeks. And I go to a wealthy private academy with a lot of
wealthy, bitchy brats where we all wear uniforms that oddly look like Vampire
Knight meets VH1’s ***So I’ll
explain how famous we are in my family. My mom is really big in the food
industry and because of her cooking and 4 to 5 star restaurants (she has about
3 Pink Try Diner’s that serve gourmet diner staples in New York, Kiorga which
is a LOT classier, and she’s adding a few new ones), she’s big, big, and big.
Plus she’s old money. My dad’s
business, TeleTech, produces technology that’s neck and neck with Hewlett
Packard and Apple. He also designs and manufactures modern weapons. He makes billions
of dollars a year and he’s friends with lots of wealthy people on the celeb
circuit. Last week I saw Lady Gaga, who is my idol, with a TeleTech celly and
mp3 player. And I was like “what! Holy cow!” He worked with Jay-Z to make these
really amazing headphones that have a state-of-the-art sound system built into
the speakers. And they’re adorable. There are so many! They’re both
always in the tabs, because they’re “ Back on topic, though. Where was I? Oh yeah, so, anyways,
so I said: Me: Move the table back. (And she didn’t respond, so
I repeated it.) Move the table back. A: I’m going. Stop yelling! Me: I wasn’t yelling. I just told you & you’re
still sitting there. A: (Stands) NO! You said it 5 times! Me: First of all, no I did NOT. Second of all, you never acknowledged it either times. E: Stop
being rude, Danica. Me: I AM NOT
BEING RUDE! E: Ally, do you think we should speak in 3rd
person? ***Have I
mentioned that I hate when people speak in third person. They sound like they
never went to school or something. And it’s a new trend that the Unpopulars
have picked up. At my school, Unpopulars are the people who aren’t preppy &
are just not popular because they’re nerdy or whatever. (They say things like,
“Have you gotten the new up level on Maple Story? It’s awesome, dudes.) They just
started wearing Hollister because they see other people wearing it. Well, I
don’t wear Hollister. I’ve only been in Hollister once just recently because my
cousin works there. It’s dark & the scent is overbearing. Anyways, the
“Populars” " if you can call them that. I personally hate most of them, if not
all. They’re not popular. Not many people like them except themselves &
this wannabe girl name She is fat
& when she walks down the hall people go “MOTHER OF But it’s
nothing mean! Like, I think it’s because she never changes. I never really get
physical, but at least I change most of the time. In the winter, I only changed
my pants & just wore sweaters or sweatshirts, because I didn’t want anybody
looking at my chest. There is a
girl I suspect to be a perverted lesbian whose locker is right next to mine.
Her name is Chamomile. And Chamomile is gross. She’s also fat & when she
walks down the hall her so called “friends” " I have asked, and they hate
her"go “EARTHQUAKE!” I think it’s funny because I don’t like her, but still.
Now I just put my gym t-shirt over my regular t-shirt, and trust me, I don’t
get into trouble. *** In response to what Erica said, Ally said: A: No. E: Well, Erica does. Me: I’m leaving. And I haven’t talked to her since then. It’s not like
she tried to stop me or apologize. It’s been 3 class periods & she’s said
nothing. She usually does this. She’s a very bad friend, you know. Actually,
she’s just a really bad person, in general. She has terrible people skills. But you know I can do without the stress & drama!
I’ve told her not be a passive-aggressive snot but it hasn’t helped. I guess
not everybody can follow quality advice. Wow! Look at this great love scene I drew while I was
waiting to get out of chorus. I think I’m going to drop chorus. I don’t like
it. And I think it’s really stupid. I can sing, but I don’t need to show it to
the school. I’d rather show my talents using cooking or drawing. I paint a
little, but not often. I like painting. It’s pretty cool. 10/30 8:32 AM GT English Mrs. Klatz never shuts up! But I don’t care because I
never get in trouble for not paying attention. She’s pretty annoying. It’s only
1 minute into class & she gabbing! And do you know what she’s talking
about? She’s talking about how she’s attempting to cross pollinate a cucumber
& some sort of squash. It’s not interesting at all, because I know she
can’t do it. Mrs. Klatz, no offense, is a failure when it comes to cross
pollination. She has been trying since last year, & she keeps a photo
album, a video diary, and a written synopsis of its days. You’d think by now
that she’d get it, but she hasn’t. She still tries. She should just leave it to
the biology teacher who is a whiz at cross pollination. Mrs. K should stick to
books & stuff. Anyways, I’m trying out to be in the school musical.
It’s called “We Got the Beat” & I’m going out for the part of Corrine
Donaldson. She’s a dance maniac from the 80’s. I know all there is about the
80’s pop culture. You’ve no idea how excited I am! I did both the school play
and the musical last year. We put on the play Macbeth and then in the spring we
performed Wicked. And it was ah-mazing! Both stars of Wicked from Broadway came
to see it on opening night! I cannot believe I met them! I love Idina Mendel.
Oh, it was soooo great! I love theater, but of course anything that you add
music to is about 100 times better so I especially love musical theater! Oh, I
cannot wait for try-outs. The author of it, Vanessa Tango, is pretty talented.
She really captures the spirit of dance to the maximum potential! I mean the
songs are great and are really ‘80s, ranging from pop to hip-hop. And the On
the day of try-outs, 2 months from now, I’m going to tease up my about-a-foot-long-in-length
hair, wear big earrings, leg warmers, a huge sweater, leggings, & my Chuck’s.
My gay best friend, Martin Lorette, is trying out for
Corrine’s best friend, Arnold! Well, it’s ironic since Martin’s gay and so is I know what you’re thinking, “you’re in 10th grade,
how can you just label him gay so early?” Well, it’s not that early, actually.
He’s gay & there’s no stopping that! He has a boyfriend, Antony Gonzalez.
Tony is Spanish & he’s really cute, but he goes the gay route (and besides
that, I like Parish Kirkpatrick. A LOT!), so… Anyways, we’re having a discussion on a book
tomorrow. A little while back we did a vote and we had to choose “As Change is
Inevitable” by Kama Coroners, “Animal Farm” by George Orwell, or we had to read
“As You like It” by Shakespeare (I don’t know why). Let me tell you. I’ve been
forced to read both of those books last year when I was abiding by a curriculum
they have in Montgomery County which is in Maryland when my dad was tutoring me
after school. We’re allowed to vote on a curriculum from a different place once
in a while in a few of our classes. And let me also tell you this; that was the
worst curriculum ever made. I go to a private school called The Gallagher
Institute of Higher Learning (previously The Gallagher Institute) in The gyms are all state of the art. They have a dance
studio, a general P.E. gym, a weight room, an exercise machine room, a pool and
hot tub (which you need doctor permission to use), and a sauna (which we have
to have doctor permission to use), and a spa. The performing arts centers have
another dance studio, a recording studio, 2 choral rooms with amazing
acoustics, a fake stage, a costume storage facility, orchestra room, a show
studio for producing shows, and band room. The visual arts center houses about
6 art studios, two of them for sculpting and pottery, and one for digital art.
There is a visual arts garden outside, too. It is so beautiful. And in the
engineering wing they have Woodshop and Technology crap rooms. “As Change is Inevitable” is about people’s lives
changing by moving around a lot, but how life is like a game of chess. You have
to move to the right place to win. But the more powerful people try to crush
you, so you have to use other people to protect you. I think that that’s
horrible, but true. You can just use people to accomplish what you need
done. Basically Kama Coroners is saying that ones most important connections
are the pawns. And she’s also basically saying that you’re the master of your
domain, or the Queen. If you aren’t, then you have to make it so. I agree with
that, but the way she describes it is… truthfully it is evil. Everybody chose “ACI” which I also read last year. It
was good & I finished it in one day. But I reread it & then I reread
the 2nd book in the series, “Let Alone the Popular”. That one wasn’t
as good as the first one, being about how the more popular you are the more
power you have. But anyways, while some idiots are just finishing it up, I’ve
read 14 books in the vicinity of the time we were supposed to take to read it.
And I never want to read a book by Kama Coroners again. She’s a mindless idiot
and… well to be honest, she basically supports a caste system. My school is like a caste system, I realized as I
read (one of my favorite past-times) ACI. I ran for Student Govt. President,
but because it’s a popularity contest I didn’t win. I’m not ashamed to say that
I’m a tough kid. I don’t take BS & if you try to feed any to me, you’ll get
something you don’t want right back. And it’s usually a rude, snide comment.
I’m quite witty so I guess that’s why. But sometimes I don’t get to the punch
fast enough & I think of something really good later when I’m going over
scenarios in my head. That’s what sucks the most. Like on Seinfeld when George thinks up that pretty dumb retort to what a
guy at his job says to him. I think it went like this: George: And then
he said, “The shrimp store called & they’re running out of you.” And I
said, “Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called & they’re running out of you!” Jerry:
That’s pretty good. You really said that? George: No,
well, I thought it up on the way over here. Jerry: Oh,
well that’s different. Well, that’s not me, but it sometimes is. I try to be
nice, but sometimes it slips. Or sometimes I am & I regret it. So, people
at my school are jerks & they’re idiots. This is why I’ve become even
meaner than before. Not as bad as when I was in 5th grade, but still
worse than 6th grade. Anyways, that’s partially why I’m not popular
with a lot of our students & didn’t win. The other reason is because I hate preps (and they
are like 70% of our school), the “Populars”. I don’t hate popular people, I
like some of them. But not the Populars because they’re awful & I honestly
can’t stand most of them, it’s too hard to put up with. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances but I
wouldn’t say I’m popular. And their taste in music sucks. I hate the Dave
Matthews band. And I hate that “scream-o” music. I learned that phrase from my
friend Cassie. But I prefer Spice Girls, Sugar Babes, t.A.T.u., Mariah Carey,
Michael Jackson, Katy Perry, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, etc. I have a really
widespread taste in music. So I guess that’s why I lost. Because I hate a lot of
them or aren’t friends with them. But then I tried out for Parliamentarian & I got
it. It could be because I started being nicer or because I ran against an idiot
named Lionel Andrew. Lionel Andrew is hated by almost everyone except for some
“Unpopulars” and not even many of them. Lionel Andrew, a stupid-a*s firecrotch
who looks like a plucked baby chicken, likes to say rude things to people &
then whisper under his breath. We were playing the best game ever, Capture the Flag.
Anyways he said to me"well not really, he said it under his stank
breath"“you’re going to lose.” Let’s just get something straight, as many
enemies as I have, he has more. And I have many enemies. I happened to hear
him, and this is what happened: Me: Don’t
whisper about me under you’re stank breath, you little p**sy! Lionel
Andrew: I’m not a p**sy. I just have one. (We laughed at him. It was mainly
because he didn’t know what p**sy meant.) Me: Oh,
really? I guessed as much. Well, JSYK you’re going to lose because nobody likes
you. You think you’re so much better than me? No. I was right, of course. His speech was awful. Mine
was really great. Anyways, I also tried out for the talent show. We would have
gotten in if it weren’t for my friend Alyssa. She was “academically
inadequate”. That’s a smarty pants way of saying she’s a lazy idiot. Oh, it was the first time that I sassed a teacher,
but that isn’t important. Anyways, so I made a poster that said “A STAR IS
BORN” & my mom said she didn’t remember giving birth to a celestial being.
I think that’s extra yuck. She said she should be in Guinness World Records.
Janetta keeps tapping me. I’ll see what she wants. LATER the
front office 10:22 PM I’m in shock. So Janetta was poking me & I got
annoyed: Me: WHAT?! Mrs. Katz: Danica,
quiet please. J: Dani (that’s what people call me. My uncle calls
me DD. Mostly because my name’s Danica, but I suspect it might have to do with
the fact that my b***s are pretty big. Of course, I’m only a C); I want you to
know that Cassandra Lipe thinks she’ll get part of Corrine. And she is trying
out, you know that right? Me: Oh, no. She’s surely going to get it! I mean…
She’s been entertaining since she was three! She wants to be a stage performer!
She was Glinda! Glinda’s the good witch! Everyone wants to be Glinda! Oh no! Oh
no! J: Shut up, Dani! You know you’re gonna knock ‘em
dead like that (she snapped her fingers like a flaming queen). Get with it!
Snap (she snapped again) out of it! You’re great! And you cannot give up &
you cannot be such a pansy! I know you will get the part! You were Elphaba, the
main character who was played by Idina
Menzel! You’ll get the part! Me: Oh, no I won’t! I won’t, my GOD, I won’t. Mrs. Klatz:
Ladies, be quiet! J: Sorry, Mrs. K. Me: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O? Mrs. Katz: DANICA! J: Well, actually" Me & J: It’s Dani! Really, I screamed it. And Parish (the sexiest,
hottest, sweetest, smartest boy in all of Gallagher and the guy who will be
mine, alllllll miiiiiine!) was right in our class! I suppose I’m cracking under
the pressure of Jr. Entrepreneur’s class (double period. Hard as sh*t! My God,
that class is either boring or hard. Whatever it is, Cassandra Lipe gets all
A’s and I always get an 89.94% in that stupid a*s class), my mother’s
pregnancy, homework, my job at Mrs. Wong’s grocery store (she calls it a
farmers market), practicing for this try out stuff, & even now… Cassandra
Lipe making all these comments. She’s been making them since the end of last
year, when she heard I was going to keep up with theater. Now let me just say that Ms. Nasty is in 10th
grade. I think she’s been in every school play or musical since elementary
school. She says she has. I don’t know because our school only holds 6th
to 12th graders. Anyways, I have to tell you, I don’t think I really
stand a chance at all. But people think I do. Quel chance, huh? Why am I in the office? Well, I had a nervous
breakdown. Cassandra Lipe passed me in the hall & said: CL: You’re
going down, Parker. Me: I know. I guess she didn’t hear everything I said"even though
it wasn’t that much"because, I must say, I was whispering kind of. She probably
only heard “know” which sounds exactly like “no” (duh!) because she said: CL: Yes, you are. You stand no chance, whatsoever, against me. I mean, I’ve been in every play &/or musical in all of my schools, usually the lead! You, well, you might as well
just give up. I immediately began crying, tears shedding my eyes
like a waterfall. So cliché! Anyways, so they think I’m having a nervous
breakdown. Why? This is what happened, and I know I lost my mind. She’s not
even prettier than me! She has long, sharp features and boring grey eyes and
blonde, straight hair that is always in a ponytail. I went on a destructive rampage through the Arts
Wing, which we all call the AW. Some losers call it the “aw” because they’re
dumb. But, anyways, I wasn’t suspended, if you wanted to know. Or really if I
wanted to remember, because I usually go back & read old things I wrote. Well, anyways, Miss Lipe kept passing me in the hallway & taunting me. She said things close to the nature of
“Loser”, “You’re going down”, “Oh, you poor fool”, etc. Well, I stayed late to
talk to my idiot Mathematic Review teacher, Ms. Marks, and I was the last to
leave the hallway. I guess Cassandra saw me & hung around to taunt me. She
said the one thing that would set me on edge, I think. She said: CL: Hey, mutt.
A mutt like you should stop trying to
claw its way to the top. That’s for purebreds
like… me. That’s where we go. I do
suppose you don’t belong up there with us. But, it’s OK. A half-breed mutt like you should just, I don’t know,
heed" Me: What did you just say? CL: You heard me, mutt. Me: Oh, well I thought I heard you wrong. You know
what" I bent over & pressed me palms together, slitting
my eyes, like I was going to explain something to her. But I didn’t. I kicked
her in the stomach, because I take a martial arts class to keep up my Japanese
& Chinese heritage. I am a mutt.
But nobody, not even Cassandra Lipe, calls me that & gets away with it. Everything went a little fuzzy. I dropped my bag,
picked up a ceramic vase that Donna Connery made & chucked at Cassandra’s
big, dumb head. I missed because everything went all blurry. It hit
the wall & a shard hit her, making a jagged scratch on Cassandra’s pale
arm. She yelled, but it sounded like a monkey howling. I was laughing, before
my face got really serious (I assume) & I spin-kicked a wooden fish into
her stomach. I must admit, my hand eye coordination is pretty
good; I have the best in my Judo class. But my dad’s is better & I guess
that’s why I get myself down. I compare my art to his. I definitely don’t miss
when I get down to the feet. The fish hit Cassandra Lipe square in the stomach.
She started howling again, and I shouted “SHUT IT!” She immediately snapped her mouth closed. By now, Ms.
Marks was coming out of her room because of that monkey, Cassandra Lipe,
howling. Laughing maniacally, I ran into a room filled with microphones, video
& digital cameras, etc. I twirled a microphone around in my fist knocking
things over, but not breaking them. After smashing a digital camera against a
brick wall, I quickly jumped up & ran to another room. Cassandra just
stared after me in horror. I took a ceramic bat off of the cabinet & smashed
some other pottery with it. By then Ms. Marks was calling the security. I
smashed a metal cylinder, & noticed I was drawing a large crowd of people
coming to their 7th period classes down in the Arts Wing. I saw some
burly men jogging down the hall. Well, not jogging. Our security guards love a
good fight, so they came slowly. I took the chance to turn to Cassandra, snarling. I
turned fully around & ran up behind her, jumping on her back. I pulled her
hair, and she screeched like a baboon. Roaring, I saw the 3 security guards. I
could tell that they were going to try to pull me off. Defiantly, I held on
tight & shook Cassandra’s neck. Janetta said she was laughing, but she ended up
kicking me in the back. I fell off, duh, and she & Martin pulled me to the
main office"of course I was kicking & screaming the whole way. Apparently a
boy named Ulrich Sitar put it on YouTube but I think it’s gonna be taken down
soon, so I better watch it when I get in the car. I’m not allowed to use my
laptop in the office, and I’m not breaking that rule. Hold on a second… I know why I didn’t get suspended. I heard Principal
Potter talking on her cell phone to another teacher. She went into her office
& smiled sympathetically at me after saying in a whisper, “Well, I’ll tell
you all the details of why Ms. Parker isn’t being suspended. Hold on, I see
her.” I took out my BlackBerry & hacked into her
earpiece to hear what she was saying: PP: Well,
Margo (Margo Martinez teaches Spanish, which I don’t take. I could tell it was
Ms. Martinez because she has a pretty cool Spanish accent. She’s a pure
Spaniard. Ugh, pure bred. I cannot
believe the b***h said that). See, I know you’ve probably heard about what she
did from Luis (Luis Rodriguez). MM: Yeah, well he’s my boyfriend. (Let me just say,
WOW! Ms. M & Mr. Rodriguez are dating. That’s bound to cause a stir! I
mean, WHOA!) It’s disappointing that I had to hear it from him & not from
somebody else, uh, like"I don’t know"YOU! PP: Look,
Margo, I don’t have anything to explain to you. But if you want to act like
that, I won’t tell you. MM: No, c’mon Peggy! I’m sorry, tell me what
happened. You know I have a class in 15 minutes! And I’m not going to asking
those little putas because you know
how kids lie! PP: Thought
as much. Okay, well, I’m not suspending her because of a few reasons. Her
parents paid for the damages. They donate a fat lot of money to the school, and
the poor girl was having a nervous breakdown. MM: You are so stupid, sometimes. What about those
kids who had their stuff ruined? PP: Danica
will be required to write a full apology when she returns. For now I think I’ll
advise her parents to take her to my therapist" Both: Dr.
Simmons. MM: I know, you’ve told me about Dr. Simmons hundreds
of times. How Dr. Simmons has really healed you & how he’s the best. I
know, Peggy. I must say, I am appalled at this. I have to write a
letter of apology? Oh, well. I guess it’s better than being suspended. I logged
their conversation into my laptop, yes, I’m great at hacking. BTW, being pregnant must be pretty boring because my
mom never does anything except work from the house and scold me for not doing
homework more often. “Have you done your homework?” she says. “No.” I say. “It’s your funeral, you good for nothing fool!” “MOM!” I
shout. Maybe her hormones are effed up because she’s being uber-B*TCH!
Otherwise, her belly is growing and she throws up. As it is, she never goes in
to work, she just stays home so I can expect to be called a “good for nothing”
as soon as I get home if I don’t start on my homework, silently as well as
immediately. And she wonders why I’m, according to her and my dad,
depressed. They told my teachers that I’ve been acting depressed at home and
asked if that’s how it was at school. And my teachers agreed. They said I had
differed from my normal, happy, loud, outgoing self. That all I did was write
in this journal or write in my song journal, or type away on my laptop. I
hardly talked and when we had the choice of working with partners I did the
work by myself or didn’t do the work at all. I just sat there staring at the
board. I admit this is the truth. But it doesn’t mean that
I’m depressed! And I heard my mom and dad talking to each other about me. They were
chatting on and on about how since last year my happy, sunny demeanor. And they
didn’t get it because I had been so happy after the success of me as Elphaba
and Cassandra as Glinda. We hadn’t gotten along then but she saw my talent as a
freshman who made it to such a high position. And then the mean comments
started coming. I could see where my mom and dad, and even teachers were coming
from with all of this. But I am not
depressed. Later my bedroom 3:30 PM I’ve been felling a lot better since beating the sh*t
out of Cassandra and now guess what. My cousin, Katrina, came to visit all the
way from Katrina, whom I call Katy, is something like
Charlie’s Angels. She is an assassin & she works for a man she has never
met. She sometimes works for the FBI & CIA because she’s a good guy… girl…
whatever, you know what I mean. I know, it’s unbelievable, but it’s true. She’s a
spy. There are lots of bad guys out there. As soon as I saw Katy, I smiled
& remembered to bow, with my palms pressed together, like a student to
their sensei: K: Allo, Danica-ka. (She was speaking in Russian. She
seemed real calm, which she usually is. Then a huge smile broke onto her face.) Me: Allo, Katy-ka! (I ran to hug her. It was dumb,
yeah, but so what?) K: I came to help you with your try-outs. I know you
will win & I plan to be part of your success. In a way, I’m a parasite
feeding off of you. Joking (she pointed a finger at me & tipped her head to
the side, winking, with her lop-sided smile. I’ve seen it so many times. It was
odd because she is so sassy and witty and really controlling. She has a strong
jaw, pretty, almond shaped face. Her hair is black and wispy and it’s always
straight and flat until the middle of her head, where it begins curling up into
a curve on each side. Like some sort of anime character or cat. All of Katy’s
clothes are skimpy, yet high-end things that come together looking cute. But
better if she wore a bra…EVER!) Me: (Sullen) Katy… I’m not trying out. I won’t get
the part. Cassandra Lipe will. She’s been doing all that stuff since she was 3.
She’s taken lessons. K: (Slits eyes & puckers mouth. She slowly raised
her chin & tilted it, in one swift motion) Are you telling me that you’re
quitting? Me: Yeah, well, she said I couldn’t win. I think
she’s right. K: Well, I say she’s not. Me: Well, what you say doesn’t really matter in this
situation. I think what Cassandra Lipe says is more important here. K: When I said I wanted to be a paid assassin I was
sent to therapy for 9 years. They told me I couldn’t & I said I could. And
I am, right? Me: Well, not really " K: Yeah, well, I’m pretty d**n close! And you will
be, too. Take charge of your life & don’t let this Camisole Nose" Me: Cassandra Lipe… K: Don’t let this Camisole
Nose take control of your life. That was pretty much it, after I agreed. Then Katy
asked me to show her around the house & our street. Later still Home
office 6:54 PM Katy was telling me about how she killed Ali
Baka-Fura, AKA Ali Fury. He was a child trafficker & a drug dealer who
worked at Symantec & swindled a lot
of money. He pimped out thousands of children & teens. He swindled millions
of dollars. On an undercover, she was meant to capture him & take him to
the feds, but he shot at her & she killed him. She dragged his lifeless body to a police station in I guess I should lay out a description. I drew a
picture, and I think I have one. I’ll try to tape it in here sometime. Name: Katrina Alexia-Marie-Antoinette Putanov Age: 24 DOB: July 4th, 1984 Siblings: Dmitri, Remi, Alice, & Alexei Putanov Eyes: Blue Hair: Black Skin: Pale copper or gold Height: 5’ 11” Weight: 132 lb. (3% fat) Bust: C Katy is really hot in most people opinions. She can
fit into almost any setting, which could be why she’s so great at her job. Can
I add this? I’m happy that I went to Cooking 101, because it turns out that the
Potluck was today. We’re going… if I’m still allowed at the school today. Which
I think I am, and I hope I’m right. I begged my mom to let us go, because I had
done so much work for the Potluck over the month. I really don’t want it to go
to waste. Katy’s coming along and I had to force her to put on a bra and wear a
proper shirt, not a lace tank top or corset, and skinny jeans, not a tiny
skirt. We’re leaving now. I had to listen to my parents
lecture me all the way home and after Katy started getting into the guest room.
They’re annoying me. They better shut up while we’re on our way to the Potluck.
Oh God! What’s wrong with me? Really, seriously? What the hell is my problem? I
love my parents and we never have problems! Why am I acting like this? Ugh! HALLOWEEN 10:08
AM Mathematic Review Oh… my… GOD!
Katy asked me if I wanted to go out tonight for Halloween. I said sure, because
I wanted to be polite. But she bought me a w***e costume! I knew I couldn’t
afford one on how much I get paid at the grocery store and because I went
shopping and forgot about Halloween, but still! Katy insists that we go to a sleazy club where
terrible people hang out. In the back, there is a strip club. Narcotic users
hang out there… oh yeah, and their dealers, too. What can you expect from
someone wearing orange and black stripped thigh-high socks, a micro-mini black
leather skirt and an orang tank top with no bra? If I say no, Katy will probably paralyze my leg for
an hour or something. Plus, I’m only 14! How will I get into some night club?
But, the kind of club that Narcalypse is… I think anybody could get in. I’m
going to be a sexed up fairy princess & the costume consists of a fake
tiara; fake wings, a green halter dress thingy, & knee high boots. The
stomach part of the dress is missing. As in its fishnet, not dress. Just look
at the pic I drew here! Here’s what happened: K: (Speaking in Russian for the whole conversation) I
got you something fierce & hot! Me: (English) Oh, thanks! I bet I’ll love it. I
couldn’t afford one with my pay at Mrs. Wong’s. K: Oh, I know
you’ll love it. (And she gave it to me. And I stared at it.) Me: Oh! Wow! This is… Spaceba… This is something. K: No problem. Well, try it on! And I did. And I looked like a hooker. Me: I look like a hooker! K: No. You
look like a fairy princess. Me: Only hookers wear knee-high boots! K: Fairy"Princess! Me: This is no Tinkerbell costume, Katrina! K: Dani-ka, c’mon! It’s cute. Everybody at the night
club we’re going to go to dresses like this! Me: What? I
am not going out like this. K: (Ignoring me) Yeah, a very good idea. We’ll go to
Nar" Me: No"We"Will"Not! I won’t! K: (In English) I’ll speak so that you understand
better. WE will" Me: Not me. K: I will put you in a sleeper! Me: And if you try, I will punch you in the throat. K: This conversation is over. That was pretty scary. But I got over it. I have to
go. Later My Room 4:15 PM I just woke up thanks to that b*****d, Mr.
Hertz-Moore. He made us do a triathlon where we ran a mile, swam 3 laps. This
is the third thing… dodge ball. More like dodge apple. We had to dodge apples.
Cold, hard ones if you were lucky. Mushy, warm ones if you weren’t. My good
friend, Bjork Purdam, got hit with a mushy one & she had to shower in the
locker room. She was late to Jr. E class & Mr. Hertz-Moore refused to give
her a pass. He’s holding a grudge. Oh yeah! Speaking of Bjork, I can’t go to the night
club. I had forgotten that I was going to Bjork’s house for a Halloween
sleepover. Bjork’s dad is an architect & he built them a huge, beautiful house.
He designed a gym called Gardenia Mounts. Loads of celebrities are going to the
opening party & so am I! When I told Katy, she flipped out. She was all, “Danica!
How could you? I paid $90 for your costume!” I happened to notice that she was
watching Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. Can I just say my costume boots &
Julia’s boots look like identical twins? And I’m only 14! I happened to mention
all of this & Katy & she scowled at me before paralyzing my hand for 20
minutes. But I don’t care because I DON’T HAVE TO GO! So I said, “Here. Let’s return it and go down to the
Village and we’ll find me a cute wig that I can wear.” Oh yeah! Last night we ended up going to a benefit for
education thrown by TeleTech. But, anyways, guess who showed their face. Their suit
was too tight; they had an ugly bowler hat on, & a bright green bowtie.
Give up? Mr. Hertz-Moore & his 18, soon-to-be 19 years-old wife, that’s
who! Mr. Hertz-Moor’s wife’s name is Larissa Lamar-Inez.
Her father is a handsome Spaniard & her mother’s father has royal
connections. Her mother is a vision of beauty! But Larissa is quite ugly. Her
face is red & covered in little freckles, as is the rest of her body. She’s
so skinny; her chest is so flat it could be concave. Okay, she’s an AA cup. So,
I exaggerated, so? Larissa’s cheekbones would be pretty (because they’re
high) if her face weren’t so thin! Her eyes are severely almond-shaped, and her
lips are full of collagen. I think they’re the best part of her face & they
aren’t even real! I, Danica-Aurum, was disgusted by seeing her & her
outfit. She had on a mini top-hat, a pink tube dress with white strips, pink
tights with boots that looked like my old costumes boots; in other words, I
found it gross. Her hair reaches her calves, FYI. They got married in November & they love each
other. Plus, she’s so ugly that the first person who wanted her got her. Mom: Isn’t that your Gym teacher, James Hertz-Moore? Me: Mom. Do not! Dad: Who is that hideous child with him? Me: Daddy, tell Mom to stop waving! Dad: My God, that girl’s outfit is awful. She looks
like she’s going to a nightclub, not a benefit! Mom: He’s a nice man. Me: No he’s not.
He makes us run all period long. Nonstop! Mom: He seems like a good trainer. I’ll call him when
I need to lose baby weight. Dad: That girl is
RED! She looks like she’s choking.
She is a violent shade of red. Me: (Rolls eyes at dad & addresses mom.) You’re
obviously delirious from morning sickness. Mom: Oh, no, I’m not. That was only for 3 days, Dani.
James! Me: (I grab her arm down & squeeze it.) You
listen here, you prego! You will not attract his attention. I don’t want him
here, understand? Mom: Fine… JAMES OVER HERE! Me: Ah! Mom, no! Dad: Calm down, that ugly girl looks your age. D*mn,
she’s an ugly one. Mr. HM: ‘Ello, people. How’s it going’? (He shakes
hands as I scowl at him stubble.) Oh, well, ‘ello darlin’! I didn’t’ expect’ to
see you he’e, Dan’cka. Me: It’s Danica. Dad: So who is this… special young lady? Your niece? Mr. HM: (Laughing) Ho, ho! No! She’s my wife! Dad: Uh… Mom: My God! Me: (Snickering) Oh, sh*t! Mr. HM: Yeah, got married in September. ‘S why I was
gone a week, you can ask Dan’cka. Me: My name
is Danica. Then he told us how they met. You know it’s
interesting to find out that your teacher likes young girls who are only a few
years your elder. Even though tomorrow is her birthday, still, I find that
yuck! I mean, they’ve been dating 2 years! I drew a picture, but I also got a
photo of them. November 30th, Larissa invited us over for dinner. JSYK, I bought a new costume & I was going to be
a sea nymph"not a nympho. That’s funny. I’m glad I wrote it down. I’m not
wearing it, though. I’m wearing a bright pink anime wig and candy-like make-up.
Apparently it brings out my “big, brown eyes” and my “small, sloping nose”
according to People Magazine’s Beautiful People of America. They also said I
was so fit and curvy that I rivaled Angelina Jolie. Liars! And I have C-cups,
not big b***s like Angelina. She’s so pretty! Oh, my dad’s calling me to go over to Bjork’s. I’m
going to help her oversee the workers setting up, while he talks to her dad. My
mom & her mom always talk about socialite stuff, but I don’t think she
knows that my mom always owns a business. Later, I’ll write from the party. Later some time past 12 Bjork’s walk-in-closet Bjork’s dad showed me & my parents the blue print
of their house & he pointed out that Bjork & her mom have walk in
closets the size of my living room & sitting room, which are both big. It’s
also called WIC’s. Everybody wanted to play Ghost Seeker, and I like it,
but why do they call it that? It’s just Hide & Seek in the dark, with a
spin on rules. There are 2 seekers & the winner becomes a demon, which
means if they get found then they have to be tagged to be out. And the winner
can choose 2 seekers. It’s really fun. And there’s a jail, which is the demon’s
safety. And the people hiding are vampires. It’s dumb, but I like it. There’s a
version of Capture the Flag, too. Bjork & I are hiding with Sasha Lanquest, Marcia
Jones, Alley Anderson, Michelle Rell, Keanna Kurt (my friend who went with us
to Au Bon Pain who is ghetto, loud, phony, black bowl cut thing going on,
blotchy brown skin) & Cleo Edgar. There are some 10th grade boys
I’m not friends with, so I don’t know their names. Parish is here! I gotta get
it together, I mean, he’s hotter than Janetta’s half cousin, Lorenzo (hot
Italiano, ay aye!). I wonder what will happen. He’s a seeker with that hoe, Alejandra
Andre. Oh, I hear her heels clapping. They sound cheap, but I should turn off
my penlight. Note: Take off shoes if I become a seeker © 2010 V. GermanottaAuthor's Note
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V. GermanottaGermantown, MDAboutI'm a young but serious writer. I would really love critique on my work because I want to publish it. I'm really trying to improve :D more..Writing
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