Vegan Cornbread and Brownies

I met a kitchen brownie
Who likes to help me bake
She's a vegan, just like me
I'm finally awake

Now baking bread's a frightful chore
Disasters might ensue
The kneading and the rising
Are more than I can do

But there's a tastey option
A bachelor may enjoy
A jalepeno cornbread
With beans and beer, oh boy!

My brownie friend did help me
My prep-work showed me daft
She ordered me to focus
This fairy knows her craft

She tossed away the recipe
I googled from a site
She laughed and kicked me in the groin
"You've got a brownie, right?!"

She chopped onions and green peppers
With fairy-lightning speed
Organic corn she seasoned
With more than salt, indeed

A sweetner of molasses
And buckwheat honey, pure
A splash of hearty bourbon
`twas her idea, be sure!

From inside her fairy bag
She conjured up a mist
Of magical ingredients
She added to the grist

By now my appetite had grown
And I was mesmerized
She told me this was lesson one
And I would be surprised

That I could eat in luxury
While celebrating taste
And never kill a sentient being
On purpose, or in haste

"If I'm to work your kitchen"
The brownie said to me
"You will respect all sacred life
From mountain, plain, and sea"

"I`ll help you make this space live green
And happily I will toil
Provided you sustain yourself
With plantlife from the soil"

When I'm presented evidence
I know to be most wise
I do not turn my head away
Nor close my curious eyes

I consented to her wish
And swore I'd be meat-free
As long as she'd take residence
And bring culinary glee

In the words of Ira Gershwin
In a melody so rare
I found a pal to bake for me,
With recipes to share

Some girls can bake a pie
Made out of prunes and quinces,
Some make an oyster fry,
Others are good at blintzes,
Some lucky girls have done
Wonders with turkey stuffin's
But I have found the one
That can really make corn muffins...

Now that’s entertainment…!

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Theo van Joolen©2010

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Song: “Some Girls Can Bake a Pie” from Of Thee I Sing by George & Ira Gershwin [1931]