Covert Anxiety

Help, help help.

I can not hear myself,

save me from this state,

with no emotion, fear, or even hate.

I can not feel, 

my mood is never changing,

nothing seems to phase me,

I am left hanging.

I was searching for a purpose,

but now I forget,

I'm just surviving,

not living.

My eyes are glazed over,

I can't see what is in front of me,

my life,

a dream?

Never ending,

the anxiety is building up,

of the days never changing,

to familiar with it all,

my sanity is fading.

I need to rest,

my head constantly aching,

change is what I'm craving,

but I can't find it,

I'm trying to fight it.

I want to be the best for

those dear to me,

close friends and family,

you don't know how much you mean to me.

I want to show you my pain,

and hope you will care,

but I choke on my words,

left in the despair.

The cold is enticing,

and so inviting.

Barley holding myself up,

carefully carrying myself around,

hoping I won't trip,

and weigh myself down.

Too much, too much,

I have a little bit of strength,

but I want to let go,

yet I force myself to hang on,

waiting for a distant miracle I suppose,

I hope this miracle comes

before my anxiety builds up,

and 

I 

explode.