The tone you have created in this piece is absolutely wonderful. You've set such a vivid scene for us, one with a very rustic and organic vibe to it. I really liked how you started the poem with the idea of the hail, then transitioned with the simile about it being like Civil War bullets. I think my favorite lines were the ones focusing on the moonshine, and drinking it "until our/blood sizzles like an egg/in sunflower oil, basking/in the temporary warmth/of the oven burner." Those lines speak of such a great night with homemade comforts and company. This piece is one of my new favorites, thank you for sharing it.
This was a hard hitting piece... You have written of something I can completely relate to. Let's forget the shackles of life and instead enjoy this moment, for we may not get another chance.
"...I will ask you
how you like your eggs,
and you'll reply "cooked."
I'll smile. You'll smile.
And we'll forget we ever
felt so cold." -- A strong ending indeed...bringing things from the tangible to the hopeful in one fell swoop.
Great imagery throughout this one...the eggs sizzling, the temperature, the waking up beside the person you write of, etc. An honest and emotional write. Perhaps in some areas the line breaks were a little choppy, but that is a minor thing that can easily be sorted out. Overall, I was fascinated by this write and felt it completely.
terrific imagery in this piece...and such a tender theme...finding that true love finally, the one who accepts us as who we are...the one that just wants the eggs cooked...no special needs or wants...not a high maintenance love with high expectations...but one who just wants to be beside us.
i had many cold mornings...alone mornings after lovers decided i wasn't enough for them...now i have a love who loves me for me...and that is so comforting...and the feeling of warmth does replace that cold, quite sufficiently.
The tone you have created in this piece is absolutely wonderful. You've set such a vivid scene for us, one with a very rustic and organic vibe to it. I really liked how you started the poem with the idea of the hail, then transitioned with the simile about it being like Civil War bullets. I think my favorite lines were the ones focusing on the moonshine, and drinking it "until our/blood sizzles like an egg/in sunflower oil, basking/in the temporary warmth/of the oven burner." Those lines speak of such a great night with homemade comforts and company. This piece is one of my new favorites, thank you for sharing it.
Wow! I'm so happy I stumbled across your work here. You string your words together with so much care and fluidly. Your images are strong. Very well written.