Fiction

Ashley has always had a normal life, that's what she thought anyways. But will she find out that her life is really based on fact? Or Fiction?

You know, I never really thought I was all that different from most people. I grew up in a small town, where everyone knew each other. And once I moved, everything changed. I tried to act to the "norm" of the kids I were around, but i was never good enough for them. But yet i faked a smile everyday, and through the anguish of all the beatings, spitting, and name calling, i made it through. When i finally arrived at a new school, it seemed as though things were "going up millhouse". Little did i realize that what i thought was my amazing life, was the beginning of the end.

Sometimes i don't even think this story will matter to anyone. My writing. Who cares? My "friends" never did, so why would strangers? But yet, I like to keep writing. So I write in my journal, write letters to people, and i guess, write on websites.  Usually trying to make up  stories in my mind about a perfect life. Mine was always a lie. It's like when you grow up believing in Santa and finding out he isn't real. But worse.

"Hey.. So I know we're here for a project and whatnot. But let's take a break. I'm getting tired of writing this useless music, we'll never finish anyways." Kira smirked. 

"Yeah sure," I stated "What's on your mind? Anything in specific to gossip about this time?"

"Actually, yeah." She paused and looked into my eyes for a moment. Obviously hiding something significant. "You didn't hear this from me okay? And you can't tell her that I told you this. Pretend you don't even know. Got it?"

"Uh.. Yeah. Sure." This kind of worried me. What's such a big secret? What's going on?

"So you know that day when we all met up at my house, but you couldn't get a ride? For the project?" I nodded my head agreeing. "So while Andrew and what's his face were upstairs, Kassie and I were alone in the basement. And she was saying that she wanted to punch you in the face and throw a chair at you for what you did."

"What did i do exactly...?" 

"Apparently you're totally in love with her boyfriend. Sending him dirty text messages and Facebook messages, meeting up with him in between classes, and trying to "stealing him from her." That's what she's saying anyways."

Are you f*****g serious? My god. Has anyone ever seen or talked to this kid? He's the most ugly, disgusting, rude, piece of s**t in the world. Why the f**k would i ever want him.

"What... the f**k?" I paused for a while, attempting to think up something to say to such an absurd accusation. "That's kind of impossible though. I mean, I only have one class with him, and you guys are all in it. I don't even have a cell phone. And I don't even use Facebook anymore. If i'm going to leave class for a guy, he better be so hot piece of a*s. And if you looked at him, you would see that he is not in any case an excuse to leave class. Even if it were math or french."

"True. I thought she was f*****g crazy anyways, i just thought you should know what s**t she's spreading around the school." 

I dropped the subject, finished as much of the song as possible, and tried to act like it never happened. But it didn't end there.

Ever since then, for some reason, everyone believed her. Even though it was so absurd and honestly impossible. I have a partner. Why would I leave such an amazing person for that low life? I know better than that... But no. No one believed me, and everyone believed her. Even though she's known as the schools pathological lier. And that's when everyone went into a black hole. I lost almost all of my friends due to this, I was looked at as a w***e during the last month of school ever. I was so alone. Everyone was gone, or very distant. Nothing has been the same since.

I've always had horrid thoughts though. I thought everyone had them to be honest. But apparently the ones i have are not normal. And although growing up i was beating, teased, and more, I tried to be positive. When i finally had friends, they treated me like crap. Calling me ugly, useless, w***e, stupid, pizza face, four eyes, saying i would be nothing with ought them. But it was better than being alone. Even now. I'm just.. alone. Everyone is gone. My world seems as though it's all a lie, everything i was told was true.. is fake. Theres nothing here for me it seems anymore. Although I love the little things in life; music, food, scents, touch, voices. I just can't do it much longer. Not with these voices, not with the fact that i can't control my own body. My own mind. This constant battle, it's to hard. And i'm afraid that the next time i have another mahout breakdown, i won't win. I won't win this time. 

So if this is the last piece of writing you see from me, I lost. I'm trying so hard. But the pain. The headaches, the tiredness, being sore, eyes and chest heavy, throat tearing. Hitting yourself, pulling your hair, cutting, screaming, crying. Out of no where, with no control. It's hard. It's horrid and scary when you're not scared anymore. And i have all these lovely little pills here. I know exactly what to say to everyone for the last time, and what music to listen to, what to wear, and where to go. Who knows, maybe in a week or too, i'll be in the paper.

"Teen found dead in forest. Cause of death suicide."

I just wish I could sleep forever. Being Ashley. Being me. It's not as easy as it seems. At times I wish it were. But I'm not quite sure what to do anymore. So for now, I'll just draw, and write, until it's over.

Author's Note

I'm not an amazing writer, it's just something that gets me through the day. So please excuse all the errors you find.

Reviews

[Dev]

Nice piece of fiction, but there are many grammatical mistakes.