John Smithee PI - Chapter 1

John Smithee PI - Chapter 1

A Story by Vampire Wombat
"

A first chapter written for a contest. Takes place in the 2020s and mixes sci fi with detective genre.

"

As soon as she stormed through my door, I stared at her with all three of my eyes. In my five years on earth, she was by all means the most beautiful creature I had seen. And believe me, I had seen many. She was bipedal like myself and most of those who had come to earth and by her accent I'd say she was from somewhere near Betelgeuse. She spoke English perfectly, despite the fact it came from vocal chords which most likely had been modified to even be able to speak the words.
Her first words were a question, "Are you John Smithee?"
I tried hiding the smile which came any time someone spoke my name. In an effort to "Americanize" us. off-worlders who sought citizenship in the US were given random names and often the creativity was non-existent. Still, some of us had been given more unique of names, clearly out of boredom. At least I had been given a variant name instead of becoming one of the many John Smiths.
I could hold my smile no longer and showed the smile which frightened most humans. Then I responded with a nod before speaking. "Yes, that's what it says on the door at least."
She almost smiled, but instead chose to shrug. Apparently my attempt at joking was ill timed. Then she burst my bubble further. "If I had been looking for a comedian, I would have gone to the John Smithee down the hall."
I completely ignored the first response that came to mind. "How can I help you, then? Do you need someone to find a lost family member, perhaps?"
Of course this was my usual type of client. Many off-worlders had been separated when coming to earth. Reuniting them was my main reason for becoming a Private Investigator. Well, that and black and white movies which had unintentionally been sent out to half the galaxy. Ironic how humans had to pay to see them while the rest of us could watch freely if we had the right equipment.
She shook her head which was enhanced by the visual frailty of her neck Her two eyes looked like they would have started to tear if she had tear ducts. "No, I know where he is. I need someone to help retrieve him."
I mentally winced. Of course it was a he. I tried to tell myself it was a brother, father, cousin, or maybe even an old friend. But I had a feeling it was a lover. And my feelings were never wrong. Have I mentioned I'm an empath? Sure, I've had to take drugs to lessen my abilities or else go insane, but I could still pick up emotions if they were strong enough. And what I felt from her as she thought about him was deep love. A love which would make someone leave their own world.
I shook it off. She was a potential client after all. Dates could be found in the various bars around town, even if they weren't as attractive as her.
"Okay, I'm going to need more information. First of all, how many legs does he have?"
Only a decade earlier this question would have made no sense on earth. But since the colonization of Ganymede in 2014, Earth became first a vacationing spot and then a home for many off-worlders like myself. Now some of the larger cities have decent sized communities for different sub groups.
She was obviously thinking of him again as I felt a warmth from her and maybe even saw the briefest of smiles. "He's a biped like us."
I nodded in response. "Species?"
She smiled this time. "Human."
I groaned to myself and had to have self control to keep from rolling my third eye in disgust. Human? Why did it had to be a species so common? It would be like finding a needle in a... well, a stack of needles. Finding a human would be easy. I could go on the street and find one within seconds. Finding a specific one could take months or even years.
I nodded again. "Where did you lose him?"
I could not only see the anger on her face, but could feel the anger coming from her. I immediately realized my mistake. I had obviously compared him to a pet, even if unintentional.
Still, she answered. "New York City."
I felt a migraine coming on. It was worse than I thought. Not only the most common species on Earth, but missing in what was now the largest city. "Okay. Can you be more specific?"
She glared at me and then began searching through her pouch. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that, didn't I? For those of you not so aware, she's similar to earth creatures called marsupials. Meaning the pouch wasn't something she just carried around, but was part of her. Before coming to Earth, it would have been unthinkable to carry anything other than a child in one's pouch, but oh how things have changed since then.
She pulled out a yellow sticky note and threw it at me while speaking. "This is exactly where I last saw him."
I looked down at the paper and was impressed. Not only did it have a street address, but it even had coordinates so precise that I could find the exact spot he had been standing in. What sort of job had she had before coming to this planet?
I nodded once again. "Yes, this should be a bit more help." Then I thought of another question. "Do you happen to know what happened to him?"
She glared once again. "Of course I do. I was right there as they took him."
I sat up a bit. It wasn't unheard of for humans to be taken. Especially by those who were romantically involved with off-worlders. More often than not, it was by other humans. In the best of cases, they were merely bullied for a couple of hours and then released. In the worst of times... Well, you'd be surprised at how creative some humans can be with torture, especially using technology which was relatively new to them. They found uses for even the most mundane of objects. I held off a shudder as I thought of how many pieces he could be in by now and the fact that each one could still be independently alive and in pain.
I had to ask further. "Were they humans or off-worlders?"
She sighed a moment. "Off-worlders."
I relaxed a bit. The first bit of good news. While many off-worlders may not be the most sociable or may even be a bit violent, even the worst couldn't compare with what humans were capable of. This of course meant that he was probably still alive and in relatively little pain.
Once again, my nod and another question. "Did you happen to recognize the species of any of them?"
She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course I did. They were my brother and his friends."
I blinked all three eyes in confusion. "Wait. What? Your brother kidnaped your lover? Does he not find him worthy or something?"
She rolled her eyes again. "Not at all. In fact, they picked him up for a bachelor's party."
I stared dumbfounded. "Let me get this straight. Your brother took your fiancee to a bachelor's party and you want me to get him?"
She nodded solemnly.
I stared at her a moment. "Please excuse my ignorance, but why exactly do you need my help?"
She sighed. "I guess I forgot to mention that part. They snuck him into a club not suitable for humans and he's gotten himself into a bit of trouble."
I sighed a bit. This was going to be another case which could be taken by a gorilla. In fact, my last case actually had been taken by a gorilla. I believe his name is also John Smithee and the client got the wrong address. Still, this was a hopefully paying case. I'd have to take it, otherwise my reputation would suffer.I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to it. So far it sounded like more of a job for a negotiator than a PI. But at least I had some skills with negotiation. And who knows, I could possibly pick up another case while in New York. If not, it's not as if it's more than a couple minutes journey using public transportation.
Reluctantly I agreed. "Alright, I guess I'll take the job. How much will you pay?"
Then she grimaced a bit. "I don't have much money..."
I sighed. "Well, how much do you have?"
She became sheepish. "Well, I have $20."
I rolled my third eye. "$20? That'll only pay for my ticket to New York and lunch."
She sighed and started to walk out. "I knew you wouldn't do it..."
I instantly hated myself for my next words to her. "Fine, I'll do it. Maybe someone there will have pity on me and at least buy me a drink."
She smiled back at me and handed the money to me before heading out the door. I turned off the lights and walked out of my office, the door locking themselves. Next stop, New York City.

 

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Author bio:

I'm a 28 yr old living in Texas. I'm trying to gain experience writing in many genres.

© 2008 Vampire Wombat


Author's Note

Vampire Wombat
Ignore the bio and picture as they were only added to fulfill contest guidelines

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Added on February 13, 2008
Last Updated on February 13, 2008

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Vampire Wombat
Vampire Wombat

Amarillo, TX



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I'm currently trying to find some sort of niche. In doing so, I'm writing stories which may or may not be successfully written. In doing so, I'm hoping to learn my strengths and weaknesses in writing .. more..

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A Story by Vampire Wombat