[untitled]

 Chapter One ~ Falling

It was 12:30 AM when the trumpets were blown. Raoul Dayvon, warrior of Ice World, woke with annoyance. He jumped out of bed and pulled on his dirty tunic and trousers he wore every day. He could smell the sweat that covered the shirt as he pulled it over his head. He desperately needed to clean his armor and clothes. He opened the large wooden door and walked into the large corridor. Men with shovels, picks and buckets of cold water walked past. He realized what was happening. The ice was melting. He had noticed how warm it had been lately, but he didn’t know it would cause the guards to alert the whole kingdom of it. Raoul saw one of his friends, Blayd Nasbel, and ran over to her.

 Blayd was wearing a loose white shirt with sleeves that went to about her elbows, and a red floor length skirt. Around her waist was a black leather corset, binding her waist so that she could be as skinny as possible. She didn’t need it. She barely ate as it is and the corset only made hr like a twig. Her long golden curls hung loosely down her back and around her shoulders, framing her heart shaped face.

 Raoul ran to Blayd and hugged her tight. Every time he went out to help with the ice, it was dangerous. Blayd didn’t like it, but it was his duty, even at his young age. If His father hadn’t died he wouldn’t have to be fighting in the war. He was an excellent swordsman, but he was young and week, making him the first target. The ice was dangerous no matter what. If you lost your footing and fell down through the whole, you would not return. Well, that’s what everyone thought.

 “ You be careful out there. You are my best friend and I don’t want you to fall.” Raoul laughed under his breath and hugged Blayd harder for a moment longer burying his nose in her hair, than let go.

 “I’ll be okay. You don’t have to worry about me,” Raoul said looking down at her. She had tears in her eyes, just threatening to spill over. She lowered her head and told him to go. He gave her a little peck on the cheek and told her not to worry, and with that he ran to the main gate that led to the outside world, beyond the castle walls.

 Outside the whole world looked like a swarm of bees. Everyone was panicking to make sure that the ice did not melt. Raoul searched the crowd looking for the captain. There the captain stood on the far side of the ice - more than half a mile away. Raoul looked around to see how much damage had been done.

 Between him and the captain was a large whole about ten feet across. Cracks as wide as his hand exploded from the center, like the roots of a tree. Raoul had never seen a tree, but he had seen pictures in his history books in class. He needed a way to get to his captain for orders.

 The captain was a tall man, with a scruffy beard, short-cropped hair and one earring. Raoul looked at his surroundings again and saw a small patch of ice were he could probably cross. Judging his weight, he started walking across the cold ice. Suddenly, he heard a loud crack as the ice under his feet split. He panicked, and started to run towards safe ground. The ice cracked again, making a gap. The ice was very wet due to the cold water that had not yet frozen, and he lost his footing. This caused the ice to crack further. Raoul frantically tried to get a hold of something, but his hands were gloved and he could not grab anything, and he fell. Down to into the ever darkening unknown.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems. What do you think of the dialogue? Please give lots of roses and thorns!

Reviews

[xXotaku-girlXx]

its good (even though I already read it^^) I'd make the sentences in the beginning a little longer, and maybe describe Blayd and Raoul's relationship a bit more, cuz i want to know!!!! besides that, it was all good^^