The Guys Guide of Girls

these are out of the book Book of Luke. They are not mine. Just love them sooooo much!

 

Guy’s Guide Girls

 

Guys Guide to Girls Tip # 1:

Forget everything you knew about girls.

You don’t know anything

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip Number # 2:

Toenail clippers do not require hours of instruction,

except manual dexterity, or an advanced degree.

They’re kind of like scissors, but smaller. Use them.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip Number # 3:

 You will not shrivel up and die if you

admit you want an umbrella instead of standing in

the rain like a little wouldn’t kill anyone.

Its an umbrella. Not a purse.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 3A:

If you choose to ignore tip number nine, do not suggest

An impromptu wet T-shirt contest – you’re not funny

and our life’s aspiration does not include a

starring roll in a Girls Gone Wild video.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 4:

Don’t call me then sit there expecting

me to carry on the conversation on my own.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 5:

Bodily noises are not cause for high fives,

chest bumps, or other forms of celebration.

Keep them to yourself.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 6:

Do not blame my tone of voice, my lack of patience,

or my bad mood on PMS. It’s not my period that’s the problem.

More likely, it’s you.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 7:

Just because you can urinate anywhere

you want, doesn’t mean you should – even if  your aim

is so good you can spell out “Red Sox Rule” in

capital letter with out taking a break.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 8

Just because I haven’t shoved every single

French fry into my mouth doesn’t mean I don’t plan on

eating them all. And it doesn’t give you permission to

reach over and take as many as you want. Ask me

first. I’ll probably say yes, but I’d at least

like the opportunity to say no.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 9:

It’s a remote control, not a symbol of your

supreme power over the universe. Give us the

TV remote and let us pick what we want to watch

for once. Really, would it kill you?

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #10:

 When you wear something, wash it. And just

because you can turn something inside out does not

mean it doesn’t count. Contrary to what you believe,

there are not varying degrees of clean. There’s just

clean and dirty. Learn the difference.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #11:

Believe it or not, we don’t mind paying for ourselves.

So don’t go through the drama of pretending you

lost your wallet somewhere or you gave your last five

bucks to the Salvation Army Santa you passed on

the street. We might even offer to pay for you.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #12:

While we realize that air guitar doesn’t require any

formal training, you really should have some idea of

what you’re doing. Otherwise, what you’re doing is

looking like an idiot with finger spasms.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #13:

People can have nicknames.

Body parts should not.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #14:

We all learned penmanship in kindergarten,

but why hasn’t your handwriting gotten any better?

A little effort would be appreciated.

 

 

 

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip # 15:

Yelling during a sporting event is understandable.

Yelling at the TV during a sporting event is just plain

stupid. The players can’t hear you. The coaches

can’t hear you. Do you not get that?

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #16:

Music: Just because it’s loud,

Doesn’t mean its good.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #17:

It’s called instant replay for a reason – it should only

take an instant. There’s no reason to watch the same

touchdown or stolen base over and over again. For

days. You’ve seen it once, move on.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #18:

Throwing a ball at somebody to test their reflexes may

Work when he’s the captain of the baseball team. When

she’s the editor of the school paper, not so much.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #19:

We like surprises. But telling us you have another

girlfriend doesn’t count. Neither does anything else

that makes us want to hit you.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #20:

Bed head is not a hairstyle. Show a little effort.

It can go a long way.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #21:

It’s called a cold. We’ve all had one.

 Take some DayQuil and get over it.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #22:

There are only two places women wear

thong bikinis-Brazil and music videos. The last

time I checked, we weren’t in Rio, and

you weren’t the king of hip-hop.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #23

It’s called ‘The battle of the sexes’ for a reason, but

that doesn’t mean we can’t call a truce. Sometimes

that’s the only way to avoid casualties.

 

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #24:

We’re not perfect. If we can admit it,

Why can’t you?

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #25:

Respect out choices, whatever they are.

We respect yours.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #26:

If we complain don’t ignore us.

Listen to our problems and try to help.

Even if you can’t.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #27:

Treat us like a ladies.

Not like a ‘dude’.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #28:

When we ask: “How do I look,”  tell us

we are beautiful or gorgeous. Don’t tell us we look ‘hot’.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #29:

Trust us.

That way, we can trust you.

 

Guy’s Guide to Girls Tip #30:

When you do something wrong,

tell us. When you have and opinion, share it.

And when you love us, tell us.

Reviews

[Ryan Henderson]

Well, this guide is actually pretty accurate! I am a strange fourteen your old boy and I like this guide. It is sort of a 'girl's view of things' and personally, I think that it is very good! I agree with everything written here, especially the 'bodily noises' comment. Great job and keep writing!