The lights dimmed and flickered. Colourful horses with flaking paint revolved around as the delighted screams of the crowd faded away into the deepening shadow, along with the unreliable glow of the bright colourful lights.
All I needed was some time alone, and I resolved to wander the grounds of the carnival. I walked on, along the dried leaves and twigs. The golden lights from the carnival’s festivities dimmed, just as the last vestiges of the sunlight disappeared beneath the grey horizon.
Happy squeals of children slowly disappeared, as I came upon a grey clearing amongst the multitudes of equally grey foliage. The path was ominously forked, spreading out in different directions. One went in the direction of the dying sun. Another went along to my left, branches creeping in its wake; whilst the last was to my right, with nothing but brown and grey leaves adorning it.
I took the path straight ahead, the one with the tough brambles and the thorns. From what I could see, this road was hardly ever taken; nothing had disturbed anything there for a long time. Struggling past the brambles, the route behind revealed a path untouched, smoothed by the winds.
Dried petals from falling flowers littered the dark ground. I moved carefully, lest I unwittingly stepped on an innocent bloom in my undue haste. When I bent to pick one up, I was surprised to note that some of the flowers were still fresh, the light pink of the bud staining the crisp white of the delicate petals.
I continued along the path, flower in hand. Wind rustled, dancing along the miserable branches, and weaving through the long strands of my hair. There was no traitorous thought of returning to the arduous carnival now, even though it was evident this lonely woods was not the safest place to be.
It was refreshing; the way the hustle and bustle of the loud carnival complemented the quiet and deserted woods outside perfectly. Normally, barren landscapes did not garner much attention from people, but it was different for me – I understood what it was like to be empty, desolate.
Silence rang in my ears.
The path ended at the edge of the hill, where I watched the sun’s weak glow inexorably overpowered by the darkness of the nearby hills, the darkness of the sky, the darkness that was pervading the lands. I watched, alone, as the sun slipped into hiding for another night; and the beginnings of the night rose into the sky with each passing minute.
Standing perfectly still in the gloom, my hand unclenched, and the white flower jumped out, riding the tides of the wind boldly till it was nothing but a speck of white against the grey. And along with it went my agitation, my loneliness.
I knew this walk in the woods, no matter how seemingly dangerous, was a good idea. There were no thoughts of my broken family, no thoughts of my alcoholic father, no thoughts of the ‘friends’ – who insisted I come to the carnival – and knew nothing at all about me.
For the first time in my life, I felt like that bouncing blot of white in the horizon. I felt light, I felt free.
My clothes flapped against me, and I only had to close my eyes to imagine that I was hurtling through the air like a bird, alive and free. The wind grew stronger steadily and whipped about me in a frenzied manner.
I was so entrapped in my own world, my own fantasies; that when I sense a movement behind, I jumped, almost losing my balance as my hand flew to my mouth.
“And the night reigns supreme again.” Came the hushed whisper, emanating from the moving shadows of twilight.
A dark head emerged from the mass of grey, followed by a lean body encased in black clothes. A boy approximately a few years older than my sixteen years faced me pensively, his eyes an eerie glowing black standing out against his startlingly alabaster skin.
Nervously, I took a step back, my legs wobbling unsteadily as some pebbles shifted under my feet and clattered from the side of the hill down to the darkness below. It was nerve wrecking enough to make me feel a tinge of regret for leaving the gaily-lit carnival.
“Careful,” the perpetrator of my privacy warned, a mocking lilt in his enticing voice. “You would not want to fall over the edge.”
I stumbled forward, heart thumping furiously. Still, for all his warnings, he did not lift a finger to aid me. He merely stood at the fringe of the dreary foliage, as still as a marble statue.
“There was once, did you hear? About some unfortunate soul tripping over the edge and falling into the dark abyss below... You would not want that to happen to you, would you?” He carried on conversationally, flicking some invisible speck of dirt off the lapels of his shirt.
I finally found my voice. “What are you doing here?” I asked, mustering up a steely tone as I straightened myself.
“What am I doing here?” An elegant eyebrow was arched. “What are you doing here?”
I glared, crossing my arms. “That’s none of your business.”
His lips quirked. The deep onyx of his eyes roved about me, inspecting me from head to toe in such a leisurely manner it was as though he had all eternity in his hands. I tightened my arms self-consciously. Ignoring the growing heat in my cheeks, and the smug expression on the stranger’s face, I braved a few steps forward, my legs feeling like lead.
He eyed me haughtily. “You should not be here. Why didn’t you stay at the carnival?”
Suspicions made my heart beat harder in my chest. “How do you know I came from the carnival?”
Although his face darkened, he shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s the only landmark in miles.” His reply made sense, and it appeased me slightly. “Why did you leave the carnival?” He pressed on valiantly.
He sounded almost... interested, and no one ever harboured any real interest towards me before; it warmed my heart. Harshness I could handle, but warm sensitivity melted me like a flame to an ice cube. “For what it’s worth, I did not feel like dealing with anyone, and sought solitude in the woods.”
“You walked through the woods alone?” Surprise registered in his voice.
“Yes, but I’m not alone anymore, am I?” I motioned to him, but his expression did not change. “I have answered your questions, so it’s now your turn to answer mine. What are you doing here? Did you come from the carnival too?”
Various emotions flickered across his face, before finally settling on an indulgent smirk. “Yes, I want escape from that infernal death-trap and found this place.”
He was looking vaguely amused now, as if enjoying some private joke. However, I was undeterred. “What are you doing here then?”
The paleness of his skin stood out in the grey. And so did the raven black of his hair. “Escaping.” His tone was light, though I could sense the dark undercurrents in his mellifluous voice.
Although casual, his tone chilled me. I had to constantly remind myself that for all this concern towards me, he was but a stranger whom I barely knew anything about. “Oh,” I said dispassionately. “My name is Jessica. What’s yours?” I held out a hand for him to shake, only to tuck it behind my back awkwardly when he made no move to take it.
“Adrian,” he said shortly, leaning against a grey shadow I presumed was a tree. His deep eyes never left mine, black orbs penetrating into my very soul.
“Adrian?”
He nodded. “Adrian.”
I frowned, tapping my finger against my chin in contemplation. “Remember you were saying something about some poor soul falling off the cliff here?” When he nodded again, I went on. “I was thinking – but it was years ago, so I cannot remember it very clearly... Wasn’t that boy – you know the one who fell to his death – wasn’t he named Adrian, or something similar to that? It was splashed all over the papers, but I cannot exactly remember what his name was.”
Conflicting expressions chased across his face. With a carefully neutral expression, he eyed me. “Yes, your memory does not fail you. His name was Adrian.”
“Oh,” I blinked. “What a coincidence, isn’t it?”
Adrian murmured, a low husky sound. “What a coincidence.”
“So...” I fumbled, fidgeting in the awkward silence. “Are you going back to the carnival?”
A bark of unexpected laughter rang through the air. “I can’t”
“Why not?”
A dangerous gleam entered his black eyes. “Haven’t you figured it out? I am trapped.”
“You’re trapped.” I repeated incredulously. “I don’t see any chain tying you to this place.”
“Of course you don’t, not with your eyes. Nonetheless, whether you see it or not, I am tied here.” A predatory grin appeared on his features, sending my heart palpitating with apprehension. He pushed himself off the tree he had been leaning against and came towards me, his feet making absolutely no sound on the dried twigs.
Instinct had me backing away slightly. “I don’t understand.”
“There are a lot of things beyond human comprehension.” He inclined his head towards me, and I caught a flash of white sharp teeth through his grinning mouth. “That much I have learnt, at least – besides the hazards of going to close to a cliff’s edge, of course.”
“What do you–” I began, just as it all clicked in my head. I was never one for superstitions, but his appearance, all the subtle clues in his speech... if it were true, it all made sense. But it was impossible! “You cannot be that – can you? He’s dead! Wasn’t it in the papers that they found the body? If you – if you, want to play such a heartless trick on me, at least pick a believable ploy. No one could have survived such a fall!”
“He did not.” He agreed solemnly.
Tremors wrecked my body, but other that that, I did not move; I was not able to, for panic slammed into me hard and fast, rooting my feet to the ground. “W-who are you?” Fear flooded through me, and the world spun dizzily.
Through my terrified daze, Adrian bent forward, his soulless eyes fastened on mine and a corner of his lips quirked up in a crooked, confident smile. He bent, lower and lower till his lips were mere inches from mine – and yet I could not move. His breath fell onto my cheek and it tingled my skin icily. I could not be sure, but I thought his eyes suddenly bled a bloody ruby.
A gasp escaped me, just as he closed the final distance. I was too stunned to move. Bitingly icy lips touched mine; yet his kiss was surprising soft, like kissing butterflies, or clouds. He brushed a cold trail up my cheek, till his lips were at my ear.
“I think, Jessica,” Adrian whispered huskily, his ghostly chill feathering against me. “That the more appropriate question would be: what are you...”
~
My throat closed up tightly. Heart pounding wildly, I dragged my burning legs forward. I stumbled over the rough pebbles, just as the reassuring lights came into view. Whilst running, I had dared not look back, for fear of seeing the terrifying image of the blood red eyes of a certain stranger. I halted, panting; I spun around, but there was no one.
Nothing but the shadows of the trees outlined in the dark.
I remember the cold fire of his lips against mine, the calloused hand cradling my neck, and then, the lingering trail of his lips to my neck, the tingling kiss that was followed by the graze of something unbelievably sharp against my skin. It woke up from my dazed state, and the instant I glimpsed his luminous crimson eyes, I ran.
All at once, his expression had been as desolate as the landscape, the red glow in his eyes dimming and eventually melding to black. He made no move to come after me. Still, I ran.
The carnival was before me now, and my breathing struggled to stabilise. Anxious for some light after the debacle in the dark, I was drawn like a moth to the warm golden glow outside a particularly fancily decorated tent. The gold light flickered and a red flame re-emerged; the change of the colours went on, from gold to red to pink to purple. I stood entranced, grasping at the threads of my sanity.
A wrinkled hand appeared from the depths of the tent, and an old colourfully dressed lady stepped out. She took in my appearance with interest, shining green eyes gazing at me with an all-knowing ethereal light. Her hair, the colour of silken flames, lay piled atop her head chaotically.
“Are you coming in, child?” Her voice was as pure as spring water, and echoed contralto with every tone. She held the flap of the tent open for me, beckoning me inside its iridescent depths. “I was about to close up for the day, but I shall make an exception this once.”
Before I could say anything in response, she took me by the hand and led me inside. The heavy scent of incense clung to the air; there was a circular table in the middle of the tent, and plush golden cushions surrounded it. On the table lay a stack of cards.
I finally found my voice. “No, it’s all right. I have–”
“Come, dear. There’s naught to fear.” She settled on the soft rise of the pillows and pulled me next to her. Placing the cards in my hand, her eyes darted to the side of my neck for the most infinitesimal moment; but her expression did not falter. The flames of the candles reflected a golden hue in her eyes. “Shuffle them.”
I shuffled them perfunctorily, the rich jewelled colours of the cards flashing. Handing the deck to her, I waited uneasily. The fortune-teller held them out to me, motioning for me to pick one out.
Randomly, I took one of the glided cards, and placed it on the table like she instructed me to. The lady turned it over, and the vivid picture of a grey crone in a black hood greeted me. DEATH, it read, in huge ornate letters. A white flower was depicted in her skeletal hands, glimmering against the dark background.
“Interesting,” The fortune-teller mused. “How very interesting…” She started at the card for several moments, and the lifted her gaze to my neck, my eyes. “Don’t look so worried, child. It does not literally mean death. This card signifies change, and exposure. You will meet something, something that will reveal to you what you otherwise would not know – and that knowledge, or the choice that you will have to make, will change your life forever.
“Do you see the white flower there? In Death’s hands? It symbolises the promise of new beginnings, and although it promises new hope, we must take the thorns of the rose into consideration. With change comes painful ordeals – as such is the way of life.”
“Changes that will change my life forever?”
“Yes, changes are not to be feared, child – for if there were no change in the world, how can the cold winter be turned to spring? How can the dark night become dawn?”
I could not help but wonder if this had something to do with the earlier occurrence at the cliff.
The fortune-teller only levelled her gaze to mine, a sympathetic and understanding look in her moss green depths. “Sometimes, one step is all it takes to change the whole course of one’s future. It might be unknown to you, but perhaps the change has already taken place.”
Her words were disconcerting. Even if I recognised that this reading had been purely to sate my curiosity, some parts of it rang true in my mind. “Thank you,” I said, rising from the cushions. “But I have to go.”
The lady nodded and waved me off, smiling and unsurprised. “Just remember, dear, that with death always comes new rebirth.”
“All right…” I said, considerably thrown off guard. “Thanks again.” Exiting the tent, I was greeted by my ‘friends’ who were laughing merrily, and had not seemed to notice my absence in the least.
And with that, the evening’s magic vanished, leaving me with only a fake smile on my face.
The lights were off when I arrived home. It was another typical night, with me being the only one at home – father dearest was out on his regular drinking nights again. Turning on the weak lights, I headed for the bathroom, which was not far, seeing how a crowd of fifteen would find themselves pressed up against each other if they ever entered the miniature living room.
The bathroom always held a scary tinge of grey, and a broken mirror from one of my sorry excuse of a father’s drunken fits. It happened a couple of year ago and was never fixed since.
I caught my reflection in the broken mirror, looking unnaturally flushed. My thin face never once showed it was capable of producing anything other than a pale, sallow, vampire-like complexion, much less a pretty pink blush. For some unfathomable reason, there was a spark in my normally dull brown eyes; from a distinct mud brown to a glimmering hazel.
The upturned collar of my jacket covered the arch of my neck; in the light of my newfound vanity, I turned it down, angling myself before the mirror. A horrified gasp sounded, and I realised that it came from me. Disbelievingly, I peered at it through the mirror, fingers fingering gently.
Adorning the pale skin of my neck were two scratches, exactly where Adrian had placed his lips before. The red lines ran distinctly along the curve of my neck; it did not hurt much – it then dawned onto me that this was what I had felt grazing my skin.
Slow spiralling panic grew in me. Whatever Adrian was, did he make me like him? Admittedly, my life was far from ideal that I clung to it so desperately, but it did not mean that I had to look forward to turning to some strange creature – or whatever that Adrian was.
Crimson skin stood out against my grey bathroom; even my room was not as colourful. Most of the house was grey and black ad white, no startlingly rich jewelled colours bursting the place with life. Everything was all dull and grey, and apt reflection of my life – and of me.
The red struck a chord deep within me. It was funny, that a mere stranger, of suspicious origins, could be the one who brought colour into my life. Coupled with the rose pink blush, he had, no doubt, accomplished a great feat. The passion of colour was no something I knew how to react appropriately to, and Adrian had inevitably struck a match within me and lit up my innate flame.
A loud crashing of the door interrupted my musings. Daddy dearest was home early. There was a loud smashing of glass, and then, a groan and a pulsating thump on the ground.
Gritting my teeth, I slammed the door open. “Did someone die? What’s the racket for?”
A mangy drunk was sprawled on the floor, groaning and muttering, trying to heave his fat, sweaty body up in vain. Muttering something incoherent, his bloodshot slimy eyes blinked and focused on me. “L-lose all… money… Do you… h-have?”
Anger grew in my steadily. Apparently, from his ‘woeful’ expression he had just gambled away what meagre money I had worked for last month. Something in me snapped. Stepping over his dead drunk body, I made my way to the door, seething with rage all the way. “Too bad, father. From today onwards, get the money yourself.”
The walk was fairly short, as I vented my anger with quick, brisk steps. The night was growing, and there was hardly anyone on the street. When I reached the carnival, the lights were no longer shining and hopeful; instead, it looked like a ghost town in the shadowy unmoving dark.
My legs mechanically began their walk through the woods. It was of no conscious decision of mine to arrive here, but somehow, my wanderings had brought me here again. Nervousness bubbled in the pit of my stomach as I entertained the thought of possibly seeing Adrian. Now that I had recovered from my shock, I found I was not terrified of him in the least – as I ought to be. After all, it did not make sense for me to be fearful of the one person who had ever shown an ounce of genuine concern for me.
The woods were significantly darker by now, and unlike the gloominess that I encountered before, it was almost pitch black; as the dark cover of the leaves only made it worst. I followed the slight crevices of the faint light and came upon the bramble-covered path. A deft twist to get around it found me with the flowers again, though many were blown away.
At the edge of the cliff, a dark shadow lingered. My heart quickened in anticipation. I stepped closer, unaware of anything but the tall, dark figure before me. Before I could sneak up on him, a twig cracked.
He spun around, expression unfathomable. “You came back?” Surprise coloured his tone, and he took a step forward hesitantly.
“I couldn’t stay away,” I said honestly.
Adrian only stared at me, as if he doubted the fact that I was really there. He stared at me disbelievingly, looking as though he thought me a figment of his imagination and was worried for his mental stability. He edged closer, slowly and reassuringly; the way someone approached an easily spooked rabbit that might bolt any second. And then, he reached for me, cold fingertips running streaks of ice around my wrist. It lasted for a second, before he quickly retreated. His icy black eyes glittered. “You really are here.”
“Of course.” I blinked, puzzled. “Who did you think it was?”
“I thought – I thought, that after you, well… I thought this evening would be the last I saw of you for the rest of eternity.” Heat rose in the cool night air at his words, pulsing and palpable. His handsomely confused face reflected the moonlight, making his carved features look impeccably akin to one that of a god’s.
“You thought wrong.” I said simply, closing the distance between us. Slowly, so he had the time to move away if he wanted, I cupped the side of his face in my hand, relishing the chill setting into my palm.
“You shouldn’t… We shouldn’t…” Adrian seemed at a loss for words, a trait I thought him incapable of possessing. “You are in danger with every moment you spend with me. I kill, Jessica – and just this evening I would have easily killed you.” All these were said through gritted teeth, and he wrenched himself away from me, as my skin mourned the lost feel of his cold skin.
“But you didn’t.”
“Only because you startled me into regaining my senses.” He said grimly. “Let me give it to you straight, so you won’t have any fanciful delusions about me. I am a monster. Being pushed down the cliff by my own friends did not make me a peaceful spirit. I was angry, I raged, I seethed – and that’s why I can never leave this place. Everyone who has ventured this cliff has died by my hands, and I will confess that I revel in the glory of feeling someone’s heart stop beating, seeing the light die in their eyes. I have mercilessly killed everyone who has come here, except for you.”
“Isn’t that my point?” I took his pale shaking hands in mine. “You have not harmed me.”
“Yet.” But even as he said that, his larger hands wrapped themselves around mine, caressing and oddly gentle despite his harsh tone. “Take my advice, if you value your life, this would be a good time to start running.”
“I promise I won’t run from you ever again.” I stood still, silently defiant.
Adrian laughed, a callous unforgiving sound. “I hardly think it’s a promise you are able to keep, love.”
I narrowed my eyes. “We will see.”
“Is that a challenge?” His voice was mocking, but the tone changed subtly, a tinge of hope creeping through. “Thankfully you snapped me out of it in time, it would have been a waste if I had to kill you.”
“Yes, it is a challenge.” I said seriously, clutching at his hands. “Make me like you. And then you will never have to worry about killing me.”
He smirked, though surprise registered in his eyes. “And why should I do that?”
“Because I love you. And because you are the only one who has ever cared for me.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow, disbelieving. He looked at me, seriousness etched in his face. He looked at me, and saw that I was not joking. He looked at me, and saw that I was speaking out of my heart. The wind rang in my ears, a haunting melody. It was a long while before he spoke. “You would love a monster? You would give up your life for one?”
“If he loves me back, I will.” I stared at him earnestly.
He was grave now. “I would not spare the life someone I did not love.”
I could not help smiling, and then I was helplessly leaning into him. “You will change me?”
His arms tightened like vices around me. “If that’s what you truly want.”
“I do. After all, with death comes new rebirth.”
He combed through my hair leisurely, brushing my cheeks, my lips, and my neck. Letting out a hollow laugh when he spotted the graze, he bent, the coolness of his breath making me shudder. Unhurriedly, he lapped at the wound, kissing it. And just like that, I was melting in his arms. “Now?”
I could only managed a breathy nod. Turning my face to his cheek, I gave him a kiss of my own.
Adrian’s eyes were extraordinarily dark, and they shone like stars in the night sky, incandescent. He held out a hand to me. “Come.”
And I took his proffered hand, never once looking back.
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Subscribe
Flag Writing
