HALF YOUR AGE

THIS LYRIC WAS WRITTEN TO A PERSONAL ENEMY WHO HAS ATTEMPTED TO DISCREDIT ME IN PUBLIC WRITING GROUPS. IT DOES NOT REFLECT MY SENTIMENT ABOUT MEN IN GENERAL. I LOVE GUYS, SO TAKE THIS WRITING AS WHAT IT IS: A COUNTER ATTACK.

 

HALF YOUR AGE

 

A parody, to the tune of Kid Rock’s HALF YOUR AGE

 

Hey now darling, you thought it was all fun and games, running round telling people what my motives were in writing the songs I write, acting like I wanted or needed your attention, or the attention of any other horny old man. I guess you felt you needed some attention. The lyrics were meant to put the focus on child sexual abuse, not me, but since you have managed to put negative focus on me by sharing my stuff with the wrong people, and with the wrong explanation, I’m about to bring up the fact that your own tactics feel awful familiar to women who are survivors of child sexual abuse, coming from a woman who is young enough to be your OWN daughter, even in menopause. I guess you thought I was going to just sit there and take it all on the chin, but honey, I’m a song writer, and this darling, is where you end, and the song begins.

 

HALF YOUR AGE

 

We’ve found younger guys

Who treat us better

They don’t accuse us of doing things

We’re not

When I sing my songs

It don’t upset em

They’re half your age

And twice as hott

 

I've found someone now

who can light my fire

He don't b***h

about my story's plot

When I sing my songs

He don't demean me

He's half your age

and twice as hott

 

 

Oh, he wakes up every morning

And he gives me some

Doesn’t b***h about the writing

That exposes scum

I’m his wild woman

And he’s my little rock n roll

 

 

We’ve found younger guys

Who treat us better

They don’t accuse us of doing things

We’re not

When they read our stuff

They don’t  misjudge it

They’re half your age

And twice as hott

 

 

They’ve got the strength of youth

And the force of Niagara

Don’t need to make use

Of a truck of viagra

Don’t have the shakes, and I just wanted you to know

That we’ve found younger guys

Who love us better

Kelli's man don’t b***h

Bout what she's not

When she writes her stuff

It makes him want her

He’s a fourth your age

And still gets hot

 

He don’t start trouble cause He don’t need trouble

He don’t have wrinkles

Or the shakes, or stumble

We're lovin our men

And we're lovin the testosterone flow

 

Kelli's got someone

whocan love her better

He don’t accuse her

Of doing things she’s not

If you’re having thoughts

You’d best forget em

He’s a fourth your age

And twice as  hot

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This lyric was written in response to a man, who happens to be old enough to be my father, who felt the need to spread rumors and damage my reputation in a very small and conservative town. I guess he wanted to shut me up, because my lyrics are just too real, and honest. But guess what??? It didn't work. They don't call female pit bulls bitches for nothing...LOL....

Reviews

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! You shoot straight from the hip. No wonder I like you and your songs, poems, etc. You put that guy in his place, by telling it like it is. It is sad that a man can be so insecure, immature, and threatened by a strong woman; especially when she speaks out against abuse of any kind. You get your point across that you don't need nor want his BS. I really like this fiesty song.

[Lizanne]

And you look so sweet and innocent in that picture. Lady you have some brass in that back and I love it!
I really like this lyric. It is sassy to the point, great rhymn and rhythm. You remind me of that little white she pitbull up the street. She walks all over the larger male. Good going. If I ever need a tell-off, I am hiring you!

[Z]

LOL! Great stuff! You certainly put him in his place with these words! To me it isn't real life writing if one isn't real about it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well you got down and dirty... you put it out there with pure raw emotions, no holds bar... thats the way it needs to be done. Nice job.

[Georgia Gypsy]

Ummm...thanks for writing this! you could have left my name out of it though..LOL...you however could have put Joe's name in it to point out that he's the shaky old pervert who is causing us both trouble!!(though he is old enough to be my great grandfather...LOL) thank the heavens he's not, i'd need meds to cope with that!!
later!
k
(p.s. i guess i'm learning to be pit bull too...LOL)

[Fairy Tales]

i love your song. I think you sang it loud enough where he could hear ya! lol
I like the pit bull b*****s, I happen to own one and I guess i have to join you on this one.
very captivating