A RIVER IN EYGPT/LYRICS OF DENIAL

THIS IS AN ENTIRE BOOK OF LYRICS, SAVED AS CHAPTER FOR THE SAKE OF SIMPLICITY. THEY ARE LYRICS RELATED TO ADDICTION AND DENIAL.

 

THEY’RE ALL THE SAME

 

There you stand

And you look so fine

Would it feel this strong

If you were really mine

Well, no

But I want you so

 

You got the power

I got the pain

Gotta lose control

Just to feel the flames

But they burn

Long as I’m in chains

 

Have to hurt so badly

To feel this good

Have to want ya so madly

More than I should

If there’s not any danger

It’s all wet wood

 

As a crazy child

Must have been abused

Only feel at home

When I’m being used

Can’t handle love

Or the right to choose

 

Got a tear in my eye

But a thorn in my heart

You could love me better

But I’d tear you apart

Gotta hurt me daily

Keep throwing those darts

 

I’m a crazy woman

Whose half insane

I can only feel

When I’m feeling pain

I can only love

When I love in vain

 

 

So it’s plain

It’s plain

Why it’s always the same

I’m to blame

That it’s always the same

And I’m to blame

That they’re all the same

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STRIPPER

(Watching a bathing suit contest in a singles apartment complex)

 

On a diving board

She danced for the crowd

Some just watched

Some laughed out loud

She’s a nighttime stripper

And feeling proud

 

She’s got the moves

To make em yell

She’s not so shy

And I can tell

It’s an art to her

One that she knows well

 

And the women whine

And drink their wine

Say she uses her body

Ain’t got no mind

They’ve watched it all

And still stayed blind

 

I wonder sometimes

What the people saw

When they watched her

Slip and fall

They can look so hard

They can look so long

And never even see her at all

 

But I was there

And I saw you

And I could see

Your soul shine through

 

I wonder sometimes

What the people saw

When they watched me slip and fall

They could look so hard

They could look so long

And never even see me at all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC

Valerie D belew

www.poetrytogo.net

 

It’s true I’m spending most my time

These days in the local bar

My family’s been evicted

And soon they’ll take the car

 

My phone bill’s late

My lights cut off

The gas bill’s overdue

I’m not an alcoholic

I just have a drink or two

 

I’m not an alcoholic

I just like to drink, I guess

I could stop now, if I chose to

But I’d never waste what’s left

With the hours I’ve been keeping

It’s a wonder I’m alive

I’m not an alcoholic

I just have a drink or five

 

Last night

I spent my last ten dollars

Buying drinks for friends

And met a new policeman

Got a DUI again

But things will look much better

With a little nip of gin

I’m not an alcoholic

I just have a drink, or ten

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SAME OLD DREAM

 

www.poetrytogo.net

 

Found it in Georgia

As a tortured child

Took it to the coast

Where I was running wild

With a different style

But the same old dream

 

It’s took me to heaven

And it’s put me through hell

Made me go crazy

But I knew so well

It would see me through

The same old dream

 

And I’ve lived every line that’s ever been sold

Hiding my face, and living too bold

With the same old dream

 

I’ve written my lyrics

And I’ve sung my songs

Drag em around

Where they don’t belong

Always take it along

The same old dream

 

Up in Indiana

Where the cold winds blow

Back down south without a thing to show

I was feeling low

But had the same old dream

 

And I’ve lived every lie that hasn’t been told

Denied the truth so I could weather the cold

And keep the same old dream

 

Wanting to leave, wanting to stay

Wanting to love, but running away

Always been that way

With the same old dream

 

 

 

 

 

Higher than mountains

Lower than plains

Dreaming of sunshine

Living in rain

Always going insane

With the same old dream

 

And I’ve owned every lie that’s covered in mold

Burning hot and running cold

With the same old dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NASHVILLE BOUND

 

Seems the time has come

But then, even so

I’ll carry the guilt of your memory with me

Wherever I go

Feel I let you down

Cause I’m not around

Still I’m Nashville bound

Gotta follow a dream

 

Tried to hold it all

In my heart so long

I’d rather die

Than see you hurt because of my songs

But I’ve tried your way

And it never pays

Gotta go away

Just to follow a dream

 

Never found anything else I could do so well

Most of my life I’ve tried hard to be someone else

Always been disgraced

And fell flat on my face

Think it’s time I should sing my songs and be myself

 

Let me tell you now

Before I go away

I’ve done my best

Tried in every way

And I’ll make it all

Up to you some day

Though I couldn’t stay

Had to follow a dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HIT AND RUN LOVER

 

I don’t mind the stardust

Long as the sun sets me free

But stormy weather and hurricanes

Take all the wind out of me

 

So I’m traveling on to where I’m going

Never let a man make me think of love

Keep all the pain from showing

Got a hit and run love

 

Got a hit and run love

Never wait for the heartbreak

Hit and run love

Or stick around for the heartache

Hit and run love

Take the wine

leave the headache

Hit and run lover

I’ll be gone before daybreak

Hit and run lover

Hit and run love

Hangovers

Are what fools are made of

 

Once I stayed on for the wishing

Hung on in for the dreams

Lived all alone in a fairy tale vision

Where people all say what they mean

But it never took a woman long to break from the girl

And discover what life is made of

I don’t wanta play games

Or stay on for the shame

Gotta hit and run love

 

You can whisper anything you want to

And I’d love to feel your arms so tight

You can rock me

Roll me

Love me or scold me

But it’s only gonna be one night

 

 

 

 

Cause when I hang around

It starts turning around

And the push turns into shove

Love was always the same

A wicked bloodthirsty game

Got a hit and run love

 

Gotta hit and run love

Never wait for the heartache

Hit and run love

Or stick around for the heartbreak

Hit and run love

Take the wine leave the headache

Hit and run lover

I’ll be gone before daybreak

Hit and run lover

Hit and run love

Hangovers

Are what fools are made of

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TEASERS LAST LAUGH

 

I can see the guys all watching me

Say they can’t stand the sight of a tease

I’m more than aware you don’t approve of my actions

But I’m gonna do just as I please

 

Learned long ago

It’s a game we’re playing

I intend to play to win

Too many times

I’ve been fooled by pretenders

And it’s not gonna happen again

 

Earned every line on this angel’s face

Swimming when the waters were rough

Made every dent in this broken heart

Seeking love when there wasn’t enough

 

So it’s gonna be a long night

Cat fight

If you try to take me home

Gonna be a mean game

No gain

Tonight I’m gonna leave all alone

 

I know that the hour is getting too late

This is not where a lady should be

But I’m damned tired of sitting home all alone

When nobody cares about me

I’ll admit

I want ya to come on to me

Make me feel like the woman I’ve been

He took all I was

When he left me crying

Won’t ya put me back together again

 

But if you’re looking for a one night love

Let me tell ya

That it won’t be mine

I just dropped in

Because I need your attention

And that’s where I’m gonna draw the line

 

 

 

Gonna be a bad show

Won’t go

If you try to take me tonight

Gonna be a slow burn

A head turn

I intend to put up a fight

 

I loved him free

And I loved him easy

The way they say today it should be

I’ve gotta say that this new liberation

Ain’t done nothing for me

 

They still talk ya down

And use the same old names

It’s still always the girl who gets burned

I may not have a Ph.D

But with enough bad luck I learn

 

So I’m sitting here drinking

Just to kill the pain

And just to kill a little empty time

A new conquest is what your ego needs

But it wouldn’t do a thing for mine

 

So it’s gonna be a cat fight

No bite

It ain’t gonna happen, you see

Organize a witch hunt

To be blunt

If you plan to dominate me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COCAINE BLUES (Up My Nose)

 

I once had a guitar and a flute

Lost them both to a man

With a straw and some toot

Sometimes that’s the way the story goes

Anything you could trade for a little loot

That’s anything that meant a thing

Went up my nose

 

Had some ones

Who’d love me till I died

Gave me money

Never wondered why

Where that money went

God only knows

Cause anything you’d give to me

Went up my nose

 

Cocaine, cocaine

What have I got to lose

Freebase, mainline

Everyone’s heard the news

Dive bars, lost my car

And feeling so confused

But you can bet

I’m not through yet

I’ve got the cocaine blues

 

Used to feel like someone

In this town

Lately things are turning

Upside down

Don’t know who I am

Or where I’m bound

Cause everyone I ever was

Went up my nose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DADDY’S WINE

 

Daddy’s wine

Please do your part

Ain’t got nothing

But a broken heart

Can’t relax

And I can’t sit steal

Mellow me out some

If you will

 

Now all these clowns

Are gonna talk me down

Still it’s hard to see the reason why

If I’d been born a man

I’d be playing my hand

On an all time ego high

But I’m hiding my face

In some disgrace

Feeling I’m not worth a dime

Taking more than my share

And it’s just not fair

So I turn to my Daddy’s wine

 

Daddy’s wine

Please do your part

Ain’t got nothing

Save a broken heart

Can’t relax

And I can’t sit steal

Mellow me out some

If you will

 

Now, I never had

To wait for death

To be burned on a red hot coal

This wine won’t make you a Christian

But it’ll damn sure save your soul

My mama tells me a lady

Shouldn’t drink till she’s half blind

And I can see her point

Still, I’ll roll one joint

With a bottle of homemade wine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO CRY AT ALL

 

Forty-three and seventeen

in so many ways

never really fell from grace

or paid the price you pay

eyes that ask no questions

love still unafraid

and how I hope she never has

to know the choice I’ve made

 

cause I’m a girl in trouble

never planned it

still it’s done

can’t even blame it all on love

or say he’s been my only one

they say today it’s not the same

still I can’t confess

to a mother who once reared me right

and thinks she done her best

 

it won’t be long

I hear them say

I’ll only stay a day

And Tom agreed to help me out

With the money I must pay

From backs of cars to singles bars

Never that much fun

And now I’ll add another

To the list of wrongs I’ve done

 

Now I’m the one whose aching

My heart’s about to break

I’ll never know this child inside

Whose life we soon will take

He’ll never laugh or cry at all

Thank God he’ll never know

That it is I

Who lets him die

The one who loves him so

The one

Who wants him so

 

Cause I’m a girl in trouble

Never planned it

Still it’s done

Can’t even blame it all on love

Or say he’s been my only one

They say today it’s not the same

Still I can’t confess

To a mother who once taught me right

And thinks she done her best

She thinks

I’ll do my best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

THESE LYRICS DETAIL THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND BEHAVIORS COMMON TO THOSE WHO ARE SUFFERING FROM ANY ADDICTION, WHETHER IT BE ALCOHOL, DRUG, SEX, GAMBLING, EATING, ETC. MANY ARE VERY ANGRY, DEPRESSED, OR VENGEFUL IN NATURE.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow that first one "They're All The Same" Is really some powerful work... but they are all fantastic and would love to hear them set to music.

[spence]

Hi Val- these were all good and gave a comprehensive overview of the causes and effects of substance addiction. I'm on caffiene and cannabis at the moment, but I'll switch to something else at some point I suppose- it's usually a two way combo! That is the one thing that I feel has distinguished my perception from other recreational drug users- I don't deny a thing. I know why I do it, (I like it), and I know what I'm doing to my body and mind, (maybe my denial is thinking I can control it all the time)- I also see many of the prescribed substances as more harmful than street drugs- and consider their prohibition the main reason that people die from taking unregulated drugs, (although the rate of all street drug deaths combined is nowhere near the sum total of state condoned alcohol, tobacco, junk food and war).
I think I liked 'I'm not an alcoholic' the best of them all- though that's a hard call to make, because I'm from a long line of alky's and was raised in a town that has the most astronomical rate of alcohol related deaths I have ever known, (my stepdad died of cirhossis last august- my mother nearly went the month before and has been dry ever since- though it is too late to halt the inevitable unfortunately).
Cocaine blues is another good un- reminded me very much of Johnny cash- obviously.
Anyway- thanks for the directio to this- an interesting combination of issues were raised- and i'm sure I'll be thinking of things I wished I'd added to this before long! take care, spence