today i feel reckless

and so, so scared

today i told my mother an outright lie
i could tell she knew it was false,
but she didn't have the heart to stop
me.

today it's 26 degrees out and i feel so cold.
i feel cold and sore and
my hands are aching to get these words out
but my fingers aren't cooperating.

today it's half past three and i've
talked to six different people already.
today it's half past three and i feel so
lonely.

today it's bleak and gray outside
and i've locked myself into this cage
of a room.
today it's gray and so are my eyes.

today i feel sad and there is a reason but
i don't know what it is.
today i feel sad and it's because it's
the last day of my life without you in it.

today i feel terrified and anxious and
today my heart is in my throat.
today i can't speak without coughing up
a little blood.

today i feel the anticipation because
today i know, i know this one truth.
today is the day before i finally know
you.