paresthesia

written under a "wrong assumptions" prompt in creative comp today; it's not fair to be able to keep loving someone who no longer feels anything at all towards you.

you are the best thing that's ever happened to me, but you are also the worst.

being with you is like being at a concert,
and my favorite band is playing, i know
every line to every song, every angle and
cut of your body, the bass keeping in time
with my heart, my pulse matching yours;
this is when i can forget everything else,
this is all i know as happiness.

being without you is like sitting at my
grandfather's funeral, sitting in the front pew
as the pastor reads out his eulogy,
carefully worded lies because he never really knew
him, and i never really knew you, did i?
your minty breath is beginning to smell
like the flowers on either side of this casket,
waiting to die, too.

and i am trying so hard to shed a tear,
to prove that i loved him just as much
as my grandma, but the pain won't come.
i'm (un)comfortably numb.
and if i can't feel,
i'm not really living, am i? so
i let the tears spill, from a different place.

you were never as good to me
as i thought you were.
what a good show you've put on.
want to see my brave face?
well, i don't have one. all i have
is hurt covered with the anesthetic
of feeling nothing.
you did this to me.
you were my oxygen.
i can't keep breathing.

Reviews

[stellasautelle]

well written.. flows nicely :)