I Have An Excellent Idea, Let's Change The Subject

January 17, 2o1o / 5:48 pm

I can feel the air
Swirl around me,
So heavy with the
Rain. I kneel down
To catch reflection
But instead view
Video reel in
Puddles of
The life, a life
That could and,
Maybe, should
Have been. I
Reach down, not
A breath nor blink,
Index finger and
Thumb poised to
Take what should
Be mine. In my mind
I lift those future
Memories up and
Out and take them
Into me. But my
Fingers are clumsy,
Unable to maintain
Grasp, fresh rain
Ripples them gone
And I am just Alice
In Wonderland with
Her fingers in the mud.

Author's Note

That last bit about Alice, do I need to say Wonderland? Or is it implied?

Reviews

[.]

scrapbooking in a haystack...feeling all the needles, then letting go..perhaps not

I am a fan already, Like free verse a LOT...may I suggest, the caps on each line...
feels like I should start over at each line, yet the breaks are already in place with your short lines...the thoughts are cohesive and cool at once

Peace, R

[RAWR!]

this drips of alice

[Alz Alz]

Oooo this is very interesting... I feel that this poem could have multiple meanings... Very good, I really enjoyed reading this!

[Jeff Loquist]

To be honest...this sounds like a hollywood acid trip...which totally makes sense considering the context

[celyn]

Really intense poem with a brilliantly dramatic ending.. and a great flow. Love it, love all of your writing so far actually.

[cest la vie]

Jazzy,
you really amaze me sometimes. You have such a "clue" to life..
you are one of my favorites writers here. Such clarity you offer the reader.:-)

[James Paulin]

Implication of what is, what might have been, what has dissolved and what yet might be is what makes this poem fascinating. I like the subject.