a history of dying

one piece at a time
june 28, 2009 / 11:32 am

even when it's good
It's hard. i spend
My entire life looking
For acceptance, never
Finding an ounce. if
There was one place
I could call home, i'd
Never leave but that
Place has never existed
And i don't see it ever
Coming to fruition. i try,
Lord knows, i try so hard
But i can't be who i'm
Not and i hate swallowing
The pain. i'm not her. i'm
Not even me anymore. a
Twisted half-breed of who
I was and who you think i
Am. self-loathing has hit
An all time high. i am worth
Nothing, do nothing, and at
The end of the day, have nothing.
Where do i go from here? i can't
Even see a tomorrow. i have a
History of dying and history
Always repeats itself, it's just
A matter of when.

Reviews

[cest la vie]

This is an amazing write. I love when I read something and it is honest, real, edgy..This is one of those writes. Your voice and pain resonates throughout .
"Twisted half-breed of who
I was and who you think i
Am. self-loathing has hit"

Your versing is on point. Very nice write. Look forwad to reading more.
Lynne

[Alicante lullaby]

this awe-inspiring and so honest.twisted half breed..pure val val expression.

[Krista]

I can relate to this so much. I am sorry took so long for me to find this honestly.

[PianoandPage]

wow val. powerful stuff.

i love the content here. you are brutally honest with your inner dialogue and the way your own personal history twists the future.

brilliant stuff.

the end is heartbreaking and so good.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

I had a history of thinking dieing was bad..I mean metaphorically speaking,..you die more than once and if your really smart you learn ..you learn that you are ..reserection..anyhow..a history of dying is a great poem .

[wolfshrew]

great little monoglue type thing. it came across really genuine.

[UpComesDown]

i like this... its quite sad and kind of submissive. like you can't avoid the invetable. i feel this way a lot. I can really relate. i really liked the last 3-4 lines:

"..., i have a
History of dying and history
Always repeats itself, it's just
A matter of when."

Really good job!