Mooncloth Demise

This is the weirdest thing I have ever written. I don't know what you will make of this. This has many representations. My life is a black canvas this is a reflection of it.

Mooncloth Demise

by Aneri Okis on Monday, March 21, 2011 at 4:00pm

March 21, 2011  3:00-3:59 pm

 

Bitterly, she stood looking over the preface. Had she known ahead of time, she would not have leaped and braved the pristine facade of the water. Perhaps, its not the ending but the journey she thinks. Where does one go when one is drowning? She had no life raft. No safe haven. 

 

She has seen only the tide and its vicious cycling. The moon ascends the night sky and still even its haunting beauty cannot ease the ache that life has brought her. She does not know peace. She drifts from one island to the next. Always moving, always afraid.

 

If she stops for a moment the crescendo of the music will assault her and she will fall spinning and spinning into an abyss that is a far worse hell then the longings. She has to find something. Where is the lighthouse? Where is the townspeople? All she hears is the sounds of wolves snarling. She sees them staring her down. 

 

What can it mean when the only solution will bring an ending to a lifetime of sorrow? She tries to find the meaning by smiling. In a deranged sort of fashion she grins and cackles manically at the mess that is reality. 

 

She beckons to the wolves, “Come out! Destroy my flesh!”

 

Their signal beckoning call tells her that they find it easier to stand at the shore howling then to face her in the ocean. She sees them and recognizes they are afraid. They only know how to bay and whine but in the end they are fallible. 

 

She smiles and welcomes the night as the sea swallows her. Down and down she sinks...when will it stop? When her breath ceases? When she kicks up and breaks the surface again?

 

She feels her feet touch the bottom, the sand snuggles into her toes like a lover’s caress. She can feel her lungs struggling. She smiles. Maybe pain was meant to be this way? Maybe its suppose to feel like you can’t see through the ocean as your drowning. Your lungs collapsing and your body starved of oxygen.

 

On the shore the wolves look on, they continue their baying and howling. One wolf stands apart from the rest. He looks on growling fearlessly. Her lover perhaps? Will he brave the water to rescue her or to eat her alive?

 

She can’t know for sure. She can no longer see anything but the murky water, once pristine now covered by the dark of night and the tangles of seaweed. Confusion, sets in as her limbs go numb. What was she doing again? Why was she down here?

 

The other wolves stare on, their hackles rising and falling. They are one moment friends and the next enemies. 

 

She doesn’t know how much longer this can last. Her lungs are beginning to fail her. If she rescues herself what is the point? When she gets back to shore the wolves will surely kill her. She longs for it almost. Anything is better than the drowning quiet of the deep.

 

Be strong a voice whispers but how can she? She is not an ocean creature. She isn’t prepared for this. She lacks fins and the ability to breath.

 

Another voice of the deep whispers, drown you deserve it! She can’t know if that was her imagining voices or not. 

 

Now desperate she struggles to breath. Her heart slows down and her eyes begin to close. Will she let death claim another soul?  What was the value of a soul anyways? Maybe she really did deserve this anyways.

 

She hasn’t stolen, killed or attacked anyone and yet she deserves this. Yes, she deserves the empty quiet hell. 

 

Does her lover wolf agree? Will he lick his chomps and wait for her body to float ashore to fest on her? Will he take back all the pebbles in her pocket, the dried wreath of leaves and the ringlet of metal?

 

She can’t know now. Her eyes close as the black darkness consumes her. She is afraid now. Will this solve the problems? Will the humanity she lost be regained? Or did she always have humanity in her and was forgotten when she took her wolf lover?

 

The only being that can know is the ghostly silver hung above her. He stands watching solemnly. He is unending and unmoving. An ancient of all time. Maybe he will shift the waves and she will suddenly float to the surface, her breath breathing in the oxygen or maybe he will allow her quiet, numbing death.

 

Her wreath of leaves floats to the surface and travels to the shore as the waves crash and thunder. The lone wolf stands there and looks down. Is that a tear or the grin of justice triumph?