I’m feeling something

Talking about leaving a abusive mother behind and about all the pain and misery she's caused. Written on 2-24-2024.

I'm feeling a lot

I'm feeling something

These wounds are deep

I'm conflicted and confused

All I see is your face

You scream at me

You tell me I’m bad

You take shots at me

I’m already down

 

You don’t care about me

Your fiction is predictable 

Your fine with what you need

I feel so heart broken by you

 

You have no problem pouring salt in wounds

You like it when I cry and injure myself

Your really out of line

Your really out of time

 

I keep thinking and emotions

You keep twisting things

I see you, hiding behind clear glass

I see you as I'm feeling things

 

You are a monster

You’re a bad liar

You can’t escape this

You dug your hole

 

I need to stop rescuing you

I’m the one who needs saving

I'm down with letting you drown

I lost so much to you

 

I forgot how to advocate

I forgot who I was

I forgot what I want

I forgot real truth

 

I traded desperate need for fake love

You’re the one whose wrong

You’re a miserable person

Your love is a hornets nest

I’m done putting on masks for you

I feel shame and guilt

But you did this not me

I asked for love and you gave pain

You enjoyed watching me squirm

 

You liked it when I wanted to die

You liked the show

You then tried to apologize

Only to do it again

 

I tried to tell you

I tried to explain

I tried everything in every way

Its like you are deaf

Deaf people hear more than you

Even when my voice cracks

You will not end me

You don't get to do that

 

You think only about you

You use every tactic to hurt me

To make it about you

And when I finally say no more

You try to reel me in again

 

I need to save myself

I need to be my own hero

I need to be rescued

I can’t wait for you

I need to do it for me

 

I’m the person who deserves it all

You are forsaken

Maybe I should forgive you 

I don’t think its necessary

I love you and I'm done

 

You don’t get to abuse me anymore

You don’t get to mistreat me

You don’t get to play games 

You don’t get to manufacture illusions

You fucked around

Now you will find out

Author's Note

What does this say to you?