Nightmares of Kalona

A horrid nightmare of mine.

Here I stand.

The banner waving in the breeze.

A storm is brewing and its inside of me.

Kalona, the demon is raping me again.

Again and again.

Terror filled I scream but I enjoy it. 

Terrible contradicting emotions trapped in my chest.

Somewhere beyond the recesses of my humanity, the demon laughs.

Forced fed the flesh of all I know, I weep and I recoil. 

I cry deep down. It is a endless sorrow that no man can fix.

In the ward people run and I follow. My hands cut and bloody.

Down the halls they run. Their terror filled faces as I corner them.

To each I devour, the hatred fills my soul and my mind. 

Flames dance in the background and I recoil as I cannot stop.

Chaos ensnares and compromises the building. None shall escape.

My wrath a fury storm that consumes and destroys each it touches.

To those that wronged me so. The masses, screaming and turning.

There is no escape from the five hells of doom.

Chaos dipped crimson red with the blood of the thousands.

There is a gaping, bloody hole in the floor with no end as I can see.

Horrified at the monster I’ve become, I  stand still until this screaming stops.

In the dark room I weep, alone am I?

Deep wounds run up and down my body. I am bleeding. I am weakened.

This isn’t my choice I shout. 

Outside the windows and doors are closed. The people I reach for can’t see me.

Upon waking my heart races, my body sweaty with aching. 

In the horrid aftermath of the darkness...there is still yet hope.

So many nights I’ve spent wandering the past. Wandering nightmares.

I long for a day when the peace settles in the deep places. 

There is so much rage, pain, anger and hurt still pouring out in me.

Do you see me? Do you hear me? 

Nothing this world has will fill this hole that steals everything dear to me away!

I promise with all my human fragility that I am looking at God with all my muster.

Letting him soak in there with all I am capable of.

Whether the truth of what I’ve seen and felt, you believe or not here I am.

I am devoted to being in the light. I am devoted to God.

My wounds are bleeding but here I am battered and bruised still I will not DIE.

I will NOT yield to your judgements, cruelty, abuse and denial of my heart.

Tear soaked cheeks, gazing upwards I ask for mercy and the grace to forgive.

So that in the coming days I grow stronger.