To Whoever

To you, the feral cat. To me, the girl. To him, my man. To them, the birds. To us, the couple. To Whoever.

To you its a game

You think I played you

And now you wanna slug me

In the tombstone you write to me

You say all these wicked things

Never mind the crown and the blood spilled

Spilled for you to keep you from the dark

To you its like revenge

You think I deserve it

And now you make plans carefully

To settle the score you cast your dice

You say all these nasty things

Never mind Jesus and the cross and all that

He commands love and forgiveness but who cares?

To you its about my crimes

You think I committed a bad one

And now you drink and cry your fill

You say all these horrible things

Never mind your own crime, the one, remember?

While you were drunk and a hussy smirked up at you

To you I’m the bad guy

You think I don’t hurt too?

And now you aiming for my man too

You say all these hateful things

Never mind the truth its easier to forget

Ready get your posse and prepare them

To you I’m just like the last

You think I’m just like her 

And now you cast all women bad

Guess the female kin should all die?

Never mind that it takes two to make it work

Oh because that would be too much to ask wouldn’t it?

To you I’m just a lost cause

You think not of the pain I’ve seen

And now you pretend I’m damaged goods

You say I’m a coward but really whose talking?

Never mind I lived through hell and nearly died

Just get over it you say but scars don’t heal quick like these

To you I am a wretch 

You think I am spiteful and nasty

And now you say I am a betrayer of trust

Guess pointing the finger clears your name?

Never mind I pray for you and wish you the best

Because women like me just toy with people like you right?

To you, your saved its okay

You think God isn’t watching over you

And now you turn your back on him even now

You say your forsaken and curse at him every chance

Never mind he stills loves you and will always be with you

Because its hard to see light through the pain when your view is skewed

To you I’m a devil in disguise

You think I hide my horns behind smiles

And now you laugh at me and cheer at my pain

You say I don’t deserve respect because I’m not good

Never mind my whirlwind passed away, never mind my trauma

Because that doesn’t exist and its not relevant in any way, shape or form

To you, I should be dead

You think I don’t care about you

And now you pray God take her to hell

You say this with malice but you don’t see his tears

Never mind the sorrow you bring to family and friends

Because in your world its only about you and your needs and wants

To you I’m poison

You think I’m a corruptor

And now you tell everyone you can

You say I should be punished severely 

Never mind I’ve lived a lifetime in 5 years

Because I don’t get to speak for myself after all I’m unclean 

To me I’m sorrow

I think you don’t understand

And now I pray for you despite it all

I say I’m sorry for pain and distress I have caused 

Never mind I kept it platonic and just came out of bondage

Because that would be against your pain and that’s the only thing valid right?

To me I bite my tongue

I think speaking up would cause problems

And now I pray that God takes justice into his hands

I say I’m not without sin but I did not soil anything with cheating

Never mind I’ve gone through therapy and I’ve spent nights in terror 

Because abuse doesn’t have affects like that and I should just get over it

To me I look up to God

I think this is the closest I’ve ever been 

And now I hold God’s hand and let him lead me

I say I’m not the one who should be guiding myself through life

Never mind I’ve faced some hard truths and realized what scars can do

Because expectations of me is to grow up and get over and act like a mature woman

To me I look left

I know I made the right choice

And now I wait patiently praying and sitting

I say the future is unknown but I feel a glow inside 

Always seeking guidance from God since I don’t know the path

Why I am here only God knows but my heart is beating and I can’t go back

To me I am growing

I know the old me is gone

And now I observe as I change and learn

I say I was once lost and now I’ve found again

One mind to God, One focus to follow and my tender gaze on the man 

Why the man is unexpected, carefully I tread, my blush widening, my smile ear to ear

To me I make mistakes

I know it to be true and pray about them

And now I know what needs fixing and healing

I say if I had known I would not have treaded on your path

Always I know a memory I’ll shall be whether good or bad I don’t know

Why I did not see because of clouded eyes, so forgive me my human shortcomings

To me I am courage

I know you called me otherwise

And now I think your just reflecting back

I say God keep you safe and let you become new

Always pain sucks but if you let it, you will emerge stronger

Why must this happen I can never know but trust me God will not destroy you

To me I go by faith now

I know I feel this is crazy too at times

And now I gasp, God knocks me to my knees

God told me to stop fighting his plans and to be obedient 

Sometimes I am reminded that I’ve fought when I ought not to

Where my heart is going I don’t know but I trust that God knows what he’s doing

To him I’m new

He knows this is weird

But now he’s seeing things in a new way

He says this is amazing but he can’t help how he feels

Sometimes he has to catch his breath, it is a little overwhelming

Where he prays and then he’s back, looking at me in wonder and trust

To him I’m sexy

He had a hard time with that

But now he admits it and mulls it over

He says he gotta be careful and he questions some things

Sometimes he feels scared and he goes to God. Then he smiles at me.

Where he has to breath again and smirks as he explains its okay he’s present

To him I’m wounded

He knows it takes time 

But now he actually comprehends unlike you

He says its hard to hear the past experience of what I’ve seen

Sometimes he doesn’t know how to respond but he’s supportive of me

Where he knows this is only one facet to me but acknowledges it and doesn’t ignore it

To him its cool

He knows this is rough

But he is sure this is where God wants him

He says he really does feel I’m worth courting and knowing

Sometimes he feels things, stepping out for some air again. Its okay!

Where he goes sometimes drifting in his head other times praying intensely 

To him approval what?

He doesn’t hinge on approve or not

But he is sure that people have a right to their feelings

He says he respects those feelings and gives the berth needed

Sometimes though its better people don’t share with him you know

Where in if its to punish then revaluation is needed from the other party

To him maturity is questionable

He knows some people are not rational but really?

But he thinks time, patience and lots of prayer is needed 

He says maturity of some people surprises him after all its not a crime

Sometimes reactions happen so take a breath and think before you speak!

Where’s time was short but all the things were done to the best of his ability with prayer

To him its amazing

He knows this is quick

But he thinks God has got enough sense so here we are

He says trust me I am running off faith here. God said there you go.

Sometimes its strange but God said go so go he went. What else would you do?

Where God is all knowing and powerful this is where he has us so go ahead ask him

To him time is different

He knows this is hard for people

But he isn’t a fool and he isn’t certainly stupid

He says he hopes people see truth not lies. Your anger clouds your thoughts.

Sometimes he gets frustrated, confused and angry but would not stomp out others

Where its okay to be upset just don’t make up stuff. Its very childish, foolish and mean.

To people we’re stupid

They know we’re young but really

But they think we’re just playing a game

They say we’re getting even and getting revenge

Never mind reality is far from hurtful, childish games like that

Where they think we are is rather retarded and wish we’d grow up 

To people we’re blind

They know we’re excited but enough 

But they think we’ll get over this and move on

They say you guys need to think about this but okay

Never mind we actually put God first and we’ve been careful

Where they think we’re delinquents and we’re aiming our spray cans high up

To people this is hard

They know him more than me

But they think he’s just caught up in this

They say he’ll get a clue eventually and she’ll go away

Never mind I wasn’t going to tell him for months. He told me first.

Where they think we don’t know the meaning of slow or that we could crash and burn

To people we’re together?

They know I like him and he likes me

But they think we’re what making out in drive through windows?

They say what are you two thinking and say look at what your doing

Never mind we don’t owe you anything and yes we do care and no we’re still here

Where they think we aren’t making much sense and are scared about what this means

To us we’re aware

We know something about it

But we think people just need to process

We say we will give you berth but we’re together 

Never mind we talked about the consequences of our actions already

Where we both got nervous. He opened a door and I zen mastered it up

To us we’ve got work

We know there is a lot to see

But we think God takes priority over all of you/them

We say we’re respectful of feelings but we’re not stupid

Never mind we both recognize we sometimes don’t know things

Where this goes we don’t know but we both wanna see it through to the end

To us we’ll pray

We know God has got us

But we both ask him and he says stay the course

We say okay god, alright I’ll give this a try despite any fears

Never mind the opposition we’re facing, its not like this is a crime!

Whatever your doing God we both are listening and we both really like each other

To us we may fumble

We know this is part of life

But we both wanna be true and work through it

We say our thoughts and we hope to God this will grow 

Never mind we both didn’t know we had so much in common

Whenever we step forward, something new is learned and we both smile

To the many who are upset

Know its okay to feel what is in the chest

But don’t loose sight of truth and start believing lies

Say its funny but God said trust in him and grow closer to one another 

Never mind the big guy sometimes he doesn’t make sense thats why he’s God

What did the shock of God throwing a small bomb upset so much reason escapes all?

To you, the feral cat

You think sharp claws can be clipped

And now don’t forget God has got a water bottle

In the house your litter box is stinking just thought you should know

Say you think his aim is good at all...I’m pretty sure it is but its okay pretend not

Never mind you think hiding behind furniture will protect you? I mean really you think?

Because your hurting now but biting other cats will get you spritzed fast you know 

To me, the girl

I think God is amazing

And now I’m smiling up at God 

In my head I send a silent prayer thanking God

I say thank you for being with me because I’m stronger now

Never mind that I sometimes get anxious and I run ahead of God

Because well God can always yank me back and that’s alright by me

To him, my man

He thinks he’s a little off guard

And now he’s praying even more about it

In the meantime he just keeps breathing and sitting

Never mind he’s just so adorable and its cute when he stutters

Because well at least he doesn’t say random things or fall over everything

To them, the birds

They think chatter works

And now God is working in them

In all the trials they face this is the new one 

Never mind they don’t see good in this that’s not the point

Because God has plans and they can’t escape the changes 

To us, the couple

We think pretty similar

And now we are surprised

In all the time we didn’t know that

Never mind we both talk a lot to each other

Because well hey this is new for both of us. Just give us a moment.

To Whoever

Look around you 

Now is there ever a good time

In truth time there is never enough of

Never mind God doesn’t care for mortal time calendars 

Because just try telling him to knock it off. Good luck with that!

Author's Note

This is not meant to be insulting, hurtful or demeaning. I am processing my emotions.