Nirvana

My soul is like a tattered canvas slowly being knit together and woven into a majestic masterwork. 

Quietly, I contemplate my future and my past. Time is all that there is at every time simply in one moment. While my interpretations can change as I grow. Time remains the same. The past is not past and the future is not future. Everything seems to coalesce into one moment. All that I was and will be is now in this one moment.

I feel the floor harshly beneath me...I am floating above myself too. I feel the times I felt at peace and the times of rage all at the same moment. The times of sorrow fade out as the peace and rage stand side by side. I stood beside myself and watched the events unfold unaffected by them.

My heart has seen much in this moment. I am neither afraid nor confused. It is a unraveling mystery as I imagine myself in a magical realm. The sky is beautiful full of many colors and the clouds sit fluffy and white above me. Two faint moons rest in the distant sky with a few faint stars. As the sun sinks into the horizon I feel the white powdery sand beneath me. 

I run my hands through it, feeling the sand sift and I smile. Peace is this what this is? I struggle to stay with it. My fierce blood wants nothing more than to run free unencumbered. But within the peace I may find a strength deeper and stronger than what I know in this moment. 

I feel the silk of a light wrap around my shoulders and waist. My thighs are covered but the bottom of my legs are not. I sense the material is red with gold star bursts adorning it. I throw my head back and gaze up at the sky. 

My hair flows behind me as the breeze picks up. I smell the salt water and realize I am near the ocean. 

As I listen to the roar and crash of waves I feel myself centering. The tension leaves my body and I bask in the calm stillness of my environment. I can hear my heart gently beating in my chest and I breathe in the smell of freedom, of love, of hope, of peace. I sense that my skin is soft and tender from all the pampering. 

The stirring of emotions sits high in my chest and I say a calm prayer asking for guidance to find peace with others, myself and my emotions. 

When the prayer is done I awaken back and time is restored to its static presence in sequential order. The emotions wane as I think about nothing but peace and the embracing love of God.

Author's Note

Song Inspired me. Nirvana by DJ Zen. You won't find this on youtube. Check it out on iTunes.