Almost Hopeless

I'm not ready yet

I'm too in denial

I'm not ready yet

To put my life on trial

They said I was a force of nature

Like a stone floating in the wind

But it seems I'm just a piece of paper

And my weakness will always be my biggest sin

If living in doubt is a crime

I've been a convict for the longest of time

I want the joy of a life worth living

And maybe if I tried, that would be just the beginning

But I can't seem to take the first step

So in my bed of unhappiness I might always rest

Author's Note

short and simple, let me know what you think :)

Reviews

[Elias Kovats]

Your poem was short yes, but simple seems like an injustice. You tell the story of not being ready, for what I can only speculate, but even if its for something like "I'm not ready for school" the way you've told it gives people a sense of relating in any situation they felt they were unready. When you say they called you a stone in the wind, it gives the impression you are steady, and unyielding, yet despite their claims you feel more like a paper at the mercy of the wind. This contradiction paints the picture of who you are, strong and steady to others, despite your concerns and insecurities inside. This doubt builds a powerful prison, as you said about feeling like a convict, and it reminds me of my own struggles in self doubt and how no matter what I do, I can't escape it. You've captured a powerful feeling, and there's nothing simple about that!

[umeboshichazuke]

It's a really nice poem and I like how you compared it living it doubt to a crime and how you're a convict of that. One thing that confused me a little was how you talked about a "stone floating in the wind" because my image of stones is more heavy, not something that could easily float. If that was an intentional contrast I think it'd be good to elaborate on it a bit more, because it's attention-grabbing. If not, you can also just change it. Overall, I really liked it and thank you so much for sharing your poem!

[wordman]

such a sad write,i guess life gets us all down at times