you, i love

what can i do if i'm like this?
do i have to be someone else?
all i'm doing is for you
is it still not enough?
or am i loving you too much?
so many things i have said and done
still, for you it's nothing
i don't know why i still love you
am i crazy, or just afraid to lose you?

today, i'll still be loving you
tomorrow, will you love me too?
it may sound so silly
but this my heart can't hide it
my love for you has never changed
though you won't love me in return
i'll still love you
until the time comes
you'll learn to love me too

you were everything i wanted
you were everything i needed
you are the essence of this life
the one that i will always love
so please, don't go away
don't leave me in the dark
 i always look forward to that day
the day that the sun will shine on me
my life is you

i assure you, it will be worth it
your love won't be wasted
because you are all to me
you, are the one, I LOVE...

Reviews

[Randolf Ramos]

Hardwired to feel love, humanity is in constant illness of falling in love.... The feeling is greatly contagious that it helps in preserving the humanity preventing the extinction of mankind.....

[Shin]

Hmm... you can say most guys feel less emotions than women, actually, women are too over emotional for their own good, sadly, too bad guys don't learn to appreciate a good woman when they see one. It's a great poem , I loved it.

[Dan Ryoma]

On the plus side, I could really sense your willingness to give your entirety to this person through the poem. However I did find some things I wasn't particularly fond of. Firstly the punctuation. You lacked periods and capitalizations. Normally it isn't something that requires much attention, but in this case it detracted from the poem and made it difficult to read. I had to reread some lines because I thought they were continued onto the next line. Also, your stanza's didn't seem to have a clear goal in each. In each, there were lines that seemed to fit with a certain theme and then others that just seemed out of place. Also, the first two lines in the third stanza is in past tense while the line succeeding it is in present tense. Are you implying that this person used to be everything you wanted and needed? With some clean up and organization this could be a great piece.

[Song]

I like it ^^ Too bad most of the guys in this world are jerks v.v If only they could...see better...

[dovetailer]

Very soft...very needy...genderless...reflection on how caught up and vulnerable when we give our heart to another...hoping the intensity is returned to us in kind and the helplessness when we realize it might not be...
this should strike a familiar chord in every heart that beats

[Numb]

Good work, the words entwine beautifully to tell a story. Good job.

~N~

[nono]

Ha! Cool! LOVE IT! Definitely creative! ~_~

[Poeticpiers]

enjoyed immensly I like a man who knows and appreciates what he has

[Brandon]

this was beautiful i loved a lot keep up the good work dude