Can we meet

I wrote this while listening to Chopin. It's not much of anything, just some raw thoughts.

How do I feel? Who am I really? 

I'm not sure. I'm out of my body, guided by my wandering thoughts. 

When did it all start? How long ago was it, when I could engage with life?

The mask I wear has been perfected. Unrecognizable to my eye. 

I'm uncomfortable from within. I'm uncomfortable with myself. 

When did the self hatred begin? When can it stop? 

One feeling fabricated and woven with so many others. 

I don't want to be like her. 

I feel trapped, maybe destined to be that lost. 

Mentally lost and unable to connect. Blind to myself and others. 

Hurting those closest to me without realizing it. 

Confronting pain with anger and resentment. 

Devoting my thoughts only to myself to stay sane. 

To not be living but know that I have life. 

It's hopeless. 

Something must be behind the pain. 

What is left when you remove the pain?

What is it like? How can I make it mine? How can I begin to really live? 

I'm looking in from the outside. I see you. Love, I see you. 

I know of you but I want to really know you. 

I want to understand your very essence. 

I used to not be able to see you.  

I was oblivious to the idea of you. 

I want more still. I want to know more. 

I want to believe that that's enough.

Can I just say that I want to know you and you will come? 

I don't want to sit with my wants, hopes, desires, dreams. 

I want to experience life with you. 

I want to feel deeply emerged in your existence. 

Will I ever be able to feel your warmth? 

I want to know you in her place, for her sake, for mine. 

Someone who has not known you and didn't know where to look. 

I see you but yet you're still so far. 

I want to change for myself and for her.

Can you find me? Can we meet? 

Love, I'll wait for you until I can't. 

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Shaly Laevulins]

Pure, raw emotion. Beautifully written in a way that people can understand and relate to.