Chapter 0

Not all curses are evil. Not all blessings bring good. And so, the Panacea was brewed.

The swing of a door, the chime of a bell. Light from the setting sun seeps pass thick, velvety curtains, through a gap just wide enough for one to pass. Steps bring up rides of dust, particles shining golden as they float back down to wooden planks. The customer coughs with a polite hand covering her mouth, and stands to peer around the room before speaking up.

‘Is this the Apothecary? Is anyone there?’

Lamps of pale yellow gently luminize as if under the influence of her call, lighting up the room for her to see more clearly. Large but empty, the room only held furniture made from wood - empty shelves that were lined next to the walls, a similar shade of colour as the floorboards. Heavy curtains were draped over all four walls, the ends barely grazing the ground. In the centre of the room was a single wooden table, with chairs pulled to both sides.

The girl walks forward in small, uncertain steps to in front of the table, on which a single call bell sits, wooden handle decorated with delicate and detailed carvings, and with dust coating its silvery surface. She raises it and rings, and the chime is loud and clear, sound crisp with faint echoes.

She sets it back down, and stands to wait.

A moment passes in silence. She sighs and turns away, disappointment embedded into her words. ‘It really was just a silly rumour, huh-‘

The scrape of wood against ground startles her, and within a second she whips her head in fear to look backwards. Her heart nearly stops as someone pulls out a chair to sit at the table, dressed in dark robes and a pulled up hood, but she manages to reign in her alarm so that none but a mere gasp escapes her lips. With one hand she clutches at her side, and with the other she covers her gaping mouth, steadying her breathing before making any other sound.

‘You are…?’

‘The owner of the Apothecary, you may call me Myrlin. Sit down, would you, and tell me what you’re looking for.’

She pulls out the chair opposite of the owner, tugs out her skirt, and sits down with her knees together. Shuffling the chair closer and looking down on her lap, she replies, ‘I’m here to find a cure,’ she stops to breathe in and breathe out, ‘something that can cure fire breath. I know it sounds ridiculous, but…’

He nods, despite her obvious uncertainty. ‘Something for yourself, or…?’

Her eyes widen in surprise, and she raises her head to look at him. ‘For my friend. It started a few, no, three days ago. We were hanging out together at his house when he saw…’ She trails off once more, hesitation showing through her now intertwined fingers.

‘Go on,’ he encourages.

Eyes cast downwards again, she proceeds. ‘A cockroach. He saw a cockroach, under the table. He looked like he was going to scream, but instead of sound coming out, he blew out fire instead.’ She raises her hands to press at her eyes. ‘It sounds so ridiculous - why do you even believe me?’

He shrugs. ‘Things happen.’

She stares, but continues nonetheless. ‘He’s holed himself in his room, he’s afraid of hurting people like how he-‘

‘He...?’

Her hands unconsciously grip the edges of the chair. ‘He burnt me. Unintentionally.’

‘I see,’ he says after a pause, and gets up from his seat to walk to the back of the room, his hand grabbing at the curtain. ‘Sit tight. Don’t fall off your chair.’

Leaving no time for further responses, he pulls a golden curtain cord, and the world spins around her. She spins with it, hands clutching the chair tightly, fingernails almost carving into the wood from her grip.

It comes to a stop at some point, but the dizziness remains, and she struggles to stay upright in her seat. The shopkeeper, on the other hand, hasn’t moved even an inch from his standing position, and only has his clothes ruffled.

‘A long overdue welcome to you, dearest customer, from the Apothecary.’

She glances around, and her eyes widen as the room has changed and shifted into something very different. Walls once hidden by curtains lay bare, painted with whites and purples; shelves once empty were now filled, flasks and bottles lined neatly in every compartment, burnished glass shining under hovering balls of light.

‘Are those lights…?’

‘Yes, they do float. Customers like them, and since it's not much work maintaining them, I keep them up.' He raises a finger to poke at the nearest one, and the light bounces off his fingertip and flies another direction. She imitates him, eyes wide with wonder.

He clears his throat to regain her attention. ‘Back to the point. Fire breath isn't uncommon. It's quite a common curse, seeing how even beginners can cast it, so the cure isn't anything hard to find.’

He steps out of sight behind a shelf, and within seconds he returns with a vial, the liquid inside a pale shade of aquamarine. Sitting back down, he twists the glass between dangling fingers and explains. ‘This is what we commonly call “Knoor”, meaning “Water Breath”, coming from how it cures “Fire Breath”, or what we call “Hienn”. If you were cursed with Knoor, you'd need a dosage of Hienn. The same works vice versa.’ He uncaps the vial and reaches into the pocket of his cloak to take out a capsule, and pours just enough of the cure into it so that the small pill is full. ‘This much will be enough.'

He packages the pill in a small bag and slides it over. 'And a little extra to go with it,' he adds, and hands another small package to her. 'For the burns.'

She receives it with outstretched hands, cradling the small pouch. ‘About the payment…’

He crosses his arms and sighs. ‘Unless you have Pieces, I'll let you go for free. That's the only currency we accept; human coins and bills don't work here.’

Her lips stretch into a thin line. 'I can't just take this for free.'

But he waves a hand as if to dismiss any further discussion, stopping her before she can suggest anything else. 'Really, it doesn't matter. Consider this one on the house - a free trial for first-time customers.'

Her shoulders sag, seeing no further point in arguing with him. 'If you insist.'

He smiles at her, and walks over to the curtain once again. With curtain cord in hand, he waves as he bids her farewell.

‘Thank you for shopping at the Apothecary. Have a great day.’

He pulls.

And he's gone, leaving her in the dust and silence of the empty room.

Author's Note

In progress. Sorry if sentences suddenly end with nothing O TZ
I’d really like to hear about what you think of the pacing; I think it’s rather rushed in the second half, especially right after they talk about the payment,,,
Also, does the dialogue seem alright?
Thank your for your time!

Reviews

[Silt]

Hello

I'll go to this line right away before I forget what I wanted to say.

[quote]Her hands unconciously grip the edges of the chair.

‘He burnt me. Unintentionally.’ [/quote]

I'm unsure why you placed her dialogue on a separate line from her actions, when they are meant to be only one image.

ie

Her hands unconciously grip the edges of the chair, ‘He burnt me. Unintentionally.’

Other than relying a bit heavy on standard action tags, and tags in general, I thought it was nicely written. The first two paragraphs went on a bit long in description. I'm all for descriptions, but here it is only observational and so it felt separated from the story, a bit like a prologue tends to be when not written correctly. I like the images, but wondered why the story paused just to set the scene she was never walked through herself(or at least didn't appear to).

Don't get a screen play setting mixed up with a story settling. Whenever I see this I wonder if that's what a writer is trying to do; give an panoramic view, when a more active view would suffice.

These are just my thoughts, not a rule of thumb.

I didn't mind the second half, maybe you're looking too hard, editing too much internally.

Best writing to you

Silt

[useinu]

Hello Silt,

Thank you very much for leaving a review! I’m really grateful for it.read moreHello Silt,

Thank you very much for leaving a review! I’m really grateful for it.

I'll take your advice on that line and change it accordingly, I do agree that it should be put together. I’ll try my best with the dialogue/action tags!

Since this the first chapter and most of the story happens here, I decided to add the description of the setting first (and tried to stick it all into one paragraph but obviously failed). I intended to write her walking through the room, but maybe my writing didn’t exactly convey the idea that she did. I’ll also try for the active view, but that (kind of) means working on descriptive language so it might take a while,,,

I’m glad to hear that’s it’s alright, I actually changed it again after posting because it sounded too awkward.

Once again, thank you for your review! I really appreciate it!

Nise

[Siddhidatri Pande]

The second half seems fine but it would be better if you could add more to it...

[useinu]

Got it! Thank you for the comment!