Winter

Under starless skies the pale moon casts shadows to oblivion The light of distant sun reflects on moon's cold, lifeless surface reflects on snow's harsh and bitter form Once hills of green and yellow flourished under a cool blue moon Now encased in frozen shell and covered they suffocate in weary patience tested covered by the symbol of winter's cruel intent No smells of life remain the brand of flowery and ancient cycles which are the heart of man giving life and breath on summer's breeze giving hope and joy in new beginnings These are now gone are lost to hope and past tells not what future holds under snowy blankets life will wait under winter's grasp lies our unknown destiny.

Reviews

[Kasey Klein]

Hello Wes.

casts shadows to oblivion is a nice line. many shade, hinting at what's to come in poem -- nice touch.

I like "Now encased in frozen shell" too

[KJVollaro]

Welcome! Interesting piece you have here. There are honestly no particular lines that stand out to me, but I absolutely love the form you've used. One thing I would watch out for with this piece particularly is rhythm. As a musician, I'm sure you can understand how important that is :) Seriously though, the first three lines in each stanza could match up better in syllabication and stress. I don't think that rhyming would add anything, but revising the rhythm would accentuate the form you've used and make a very good thing even better. Hope that helps...and keep writing!