My Hero

Thoughts on my future.

Why can't I shake this feeling, I constantly ask myself day and night. These thoughts, these hunches stemming from some sort of sixth sense; they've done nothing but plague me with fear and relentless paranoia. 

What if I don't get another job this summer? Why did it have to be me? What am I going to do, come time for school, when I have no reliable funds?

Why if school isn't what I think it will be? What if I get there only to be further ambushed by self doubt and insecurity? I can't help but wonder who I will become, and where I will be after these next four years. Why do I feel so hopeless, so insignificant as I trailblaze through the petrifying maze leading to my future that has seemingly been set before me? Why does everyone else around me seem so sure of themselves, so confident in their ability to succeed?

Or are they? What if it's all one big facade triggered by jealousy? Why do I have so many questions, and more importantly, why do I so strongly desire their answers in such haste? Because there is a space within my soul that is still vacant; that has been brutally mangled along the way. The perilous, merciless road on which my heart has been traveling. A piece of my heart that longs for completion. A hollow emptiness within my mind that yearns to be filled.

How can I fill it? That sallow voice within me asks. Who's to say I need to be completely self sufficient? What if there were another shoulder to lean on, another kindred spirit to guide me? What if all this time, I've been too foolish to take heed in His promises to hold onto me and never let go; instead attempting to hold myself together? Picking up the pieces as I fall apart and fighting this battle alone, cursing the fresh tears blurring my vision and only making it more difficult to see Him? What if He has been waiting for me, only I've been too consumed by my own unattainable ideals to hear, let alone listen, to the sound of His sweet, angelic voice calling my name? 

What if His name was Jesus?

Reviews

[Lobster Goldberg]

WOOOOOOO! YES! Love it! Hehe
I feel the same way as I'm sure many of us feel. You hit the nail on the head!
Well written :)

[Luca]

You definitely wrote this piece very well topic that is very relatable and a great writer behind it. Great work. Just remember to proofread or maybe ask someone to catch mistakes you might not and you're good.

[Tiffany S]

Thanks so much :)

[MandaBear]

Very interesting write really made me think!! Great job

[Tiffany S]

Thanks! :)