Children of the Elements Prologue

Legend has it that long ago, when the world was plagued with great despair and peril, seven grand deities rose from the rubble. These deities were known as 'the Elements' due to their unique and incredible powers. The Elements, unable to do anything directly to save the world, gave a portion of their powers to seven humans that each carefully chose. The Elements hoped that by granting the special humans a small amount of divine power, they would be able to change the world. The humans, known as 'the Children of the Elements', managed to help humanity, and many lives were saved.

Once things eventually settled down, the Elements wished to take back their power. The Element of Metal was the first to try and extract his powers. For some mysterious reason, the human that had received the Element of Metal's power died the moment the power was removed from his body.

The rest of humanity began to distrust the Element of Metal. They believed that he had known from the beginning that the man was going to die without the divine power, but tried to take it back anyway. Humans began to stop worshiping the Element of Metal altogether, and without human prayers, the Elements cannot survive. Likewise, humans would eventually perish if all of the Elements disappeared completely.

After several weeks, the Element of Metal reached his limit. He could no longer continue without the humans' support. As a result, he crumbled into the pages of myth and lore.

Unable to take back their powers, the Elements had no choice but to allow the six remaining humans keep it. The powers were transferred through the Children of Elements' descendants, but only one child per generation would be able to receive the incredible powers. Meaning, that there would always be 6 Children of the Elements at any time.

I don't know how many generations ago that took place, or if it ever happened at all, but I'm sure that some of that legend has to be true. After all, I am the Child of Light.

     

My name is Calix Cordoni, and, like I said, I am the Child of Light, meaning I inherited the gift from the Element of Light. Or, at least, that is what I've been told.

So far, I've seen no special things about me, other than my silver hair that stands out among my blond peers. In my opinion, it's a bit lame that hair color is how it's decided whether or not the gift lies within someone.

My aunt, the previous Child of Light, as well as my instructor, says that the silver hair is enough to prove the gift. Apparently, when I become sixteen is when I inherit the good stuff. What sucks is that that is still two whole years away.

Not to mention school just ended. Normally kids would go off celebrating with their friends, but not me. School was the only way I could convince my parents to let me go outside.

Whenever I ask to go anywhere outside our estate, they always just order a servant to pick up whatever it was that I asked for. Oh, that's right. Our family has a servant. Or, servants, I should say. We're one of the richest families around this area. Another thing that should be good, but in truth it's just another bother in my life.

With all of our extra money, my parents could guarantee my safety. Other than using the bathroom, showering, or sleeping, I was never unguarded, though to this day I'm not sure if my parents stationed someone to be sure I was okay while I slept. It gave me shivers whenever I began to think about it, and who could blame me to be honest?

Another shock; people at school avoided me. They were afraid that if they tried to become friends with me, then my parents, who almost never approved of anyone, would probably force their family to move far away. I didn't doubt that that could happen, since they've done it before.

I don't think I need to get into the deep details, just that they convinced me to sneak out of my house at night to go hang out with them. My parents obviously found out, and they were furious. They weren't as mad at me though. They believed that my friends were trying to corrupt me, which definitely wasn't true, but they refused to listen to me. My friends' parents lost their jobs due to pressure from my mom and dad, and my friends ended up having to move away.

My life was pretty boring with overprotective parents and no friends to hang with. My schedule was mostly learning how to control my “powers”, which meant studying from books and journals left behind by previous Children of Light. Let me tell you, those things got complicated fast. I couldn't even begin to try and pronounce some of the words in those journals.

The things that I could understand were a bit useful though. Things like some of the minor little powers that I would inherit in a few years. Some of them were pretty lame, like I wasn't affected by extreme light, meaning I couldn't get sunburned, but it also meant that I couldn't be blinded by bright lights, which could possibly prove to be interesting. Still, it wasn't very much.

Today's lesson was no different, but my aunt was acting a bit strange. She seemed really tired, and she was zoning out from time to time, which was very unusual for her. I decided to ignore it for now. She probably just couldn't sleep last night. Maybe there was a big storm after I went to bed or something.

Four o' clock finally came, which brought the lecture to an end. I guess my aunt was also relieved, since she trudged straight up to her room the moment the clock read “4:00”.

I did the same, and plopped myself onto my large comfortable bed, stretching out my cramped muscles. Just then, I heard a soft scratching noise coming from outside. Probably just a squirrel looking for something. They're always doing that. I was a bit surprised that Mom hadn't ordered Dad to drive them out by now. They hate any and all animals.

But as I was settling down on my pillow, I heard the creak of the window opening, and the footsteps of someone entering my room. I bolted upright and saw a girl standing by the open window.

She just looked at me. She was a little bit older than me. I'd say she was somewhere around 15 or 16 years old. Her black hair flew around her as a sharp gust of wind entered my room. Wait a second, black hair... She was one of the Children of the Elements as well! But who exactly, I had no clue.

Author's Note

I'm actually planning to make a long book out of this, if people actually like this thing, that is.
Also, I'm having a tough time explaining certain things without cramming it all into the reader's face. Any ideas?

Reviews

[Kittyskittles]

I really like your take and idea on this! You should defiantly continue this story and see were it goes. Don't worry about if you think it's not good or whatever, just write. You can always go back and edit it later. I personally am Very interested in this story and would like to see who the story unfolds. Also I think you did a decent job writing this! There are a few things I think that you could do. One of them is describe your characters a little more. The first impression is always important. A few tips to help do this would be maybe say what gender they are, described their personally, or even tell us if they have any brothers or sisters. These are just my ideas and options and you don't have to pay any attention to them. Like I said I love the story idea and the introduction was nice. It kept my interest from the beginning to the end. Good job!

[Rachel McLean]

Thank you so much for reviewing! Like i said in the Author's note, this is simply a preview. Well, more than that. It's actually a rough copy of the first couple of paragraphs. I'll definitely try and add more info about the character into the story. Again, thanks for the suggestions!

[Kittyskittles]

I get yeah. It's a nice rough draft though!

[Rachel McLean]

This was just something I was planning to work more heavily on once I finish a different story. Once that is done though, I'll be able to focus more on this, but thank you so much for all of your support!

[Kittyskittles]

That sounds like a good plan. I wish you luck :)

[nightshade]

I found that some parts of your plot could have been written with more detail and get the beginning to flow a bit better. I am very interested in where this story could go and what this character is going to do. I think that this could be awesome. I look forward to reading more chapters, and of course cant wait to see powers 😀☺

[J. Espedal]

I agree that it is a great start to a story. The idea is interesting. I don't think I've ever seen elementals treated as main characters in a story before. Keep it up.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very well written story. I like the situation, the description of the world and the story line. I liked how you directed the reader to the open ending. I wanted to know and read more. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Mili]

I had written a short story once, just like this (different theme) where it began with narration and then towards the end paragraph, changed to first person. I got widely criticized for this, and after reading Alondra's review, I now know why. I'm really glad to find this site. There are great writers here and so much to learn from them. Now, about your story, I generally avoid Fantasies, and Legends but as I read on, it was easy to go on reading. Now I cannot wait to find out about the girl with black hair! I also wondered, on what basis did the Elements choose the humans before granting them power.

[Rachel McLean]

The basis? I'm not too sure myself. I guess they needed people who were courageous, righteous, and/or strong, but as this time was a harsh one, the Elements were unable to find 7 mortals that completely met their expectations. I have begun working on the full chapter, but when i do finish it, you will probably want to skip the first few paragraphs, just because that's what this story is; the beginning of the first chapter.

[Mili]

I thought perhaps it's worth mentioning that in detail in the following chapters...thanks for the tip :). But I'll probably read it again since my memory is not all that great.

[Tomoe Tellez]

In my opinion, I love anything that has to do with legends like this one. And don't worry, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who like it too. I'd love to read the whole book. What matters most when it comes to writing fiction like this is that you like, no, love it. It has to amaze you so you can transfer this amazement into your writing and let the readers feel it. Now about the explanation, this short story looked more like an introduction. And it changes from seeming like a narration to the dairy of your young character. Character points of view are very tricky. What I do when this happens is start nearly when the dialogue begins. I know explaining a world you created is difficult. It helps when you explain as the story goes by, like having the characters tell others their past o how something works, this makes the reader feel as if they are talking with them.

[Rachel McLean]

Thank you so much for your advice. All of it really helped. And yes, you're right. This was merely the first however many paragraphs of the much larger book that i've been planning to start for ages

[Tomoe Tellez]

No, thank you for sharing your story with the world. Stories are gifts. And I'm glad I could help you.

[Rachel McLean]

Well, nonetheless thank you for your support