Chapter 1: Two Brothers

Chapter 1: Two Brothers

A Chapter by unspokenpain
"

"Here we rest, talking like good friends and less like brothers. We live a wonderful life don't we Gin."

"

Night had overtaken Khakor forest and has been its owner for the past three hours. Many stars lit the night sky but were almost useless for extinguishing the shadows that made its home in the forest below. The trees were so close together it was almost impossible for the little light they gave off to penetrate down to the ground. With darkness this thick it was foolish to think you could find any sort of path that may have been sprawled along the forest’s floor. Many locals would laugh and sing tall tales of warriors who thought they could cross through Khakor forest at night only to be bested by the darkness, forever lost. Though these tales were mostly hogwash made by too many drinks of khaki, there was some truth to them. The darkness here was unusually thick, almost like magic had been cast over the entire area. No matter how many times you have ventured into the forest, once night hit it was as if all land markers and pathways just disappeared. Elven cities on both side of the forest hold locals that are well adept with night vision, so elves getting lost rarely happens. It is adventurers and merchants who were the ones to find themselves miles off the path and lost for days because of the foolish idea they could make it through at night. The paths weeding through the trees were empty, the berries at arms reach were unpicked, the wildlife were quiet but ever so lively, and darkness was standing and sitting like fog letting none through.

Usually this is the case, yet tonight there was one tiny light making itself visible. Penetrating the night around it was a campfire giving warmth to two boys. Sitting at the mouth of a cave deep inside Khakor Forest was Yij and Gian. Adventures and brothers who knew better than to travel an unfamiliar forest once dark hit.
“Whew, the elves sure know how to make a good drink!” Yij spoke as he stared at his now empty bottle. “Sure glad we stopped and bought from the white eared one. The other folk were treating us like fools. Charging a stalk and pent for watered down khaki.”

Gian stayed silent and listened to his younger brother rant. As Yij spoke his eyes glistened with life. Even though not everything he said was nice and well spoken, there was wisdom and truth in his words. Gian knew that. As Yij went on and on about everything wrong and right with the last town the two brothers passed through just a few days ago, Gian took this time to admire how well he had raised his younger brother.

Life as an adventurer was not in anyway easy. Having the necessary nourishment and supplies was your first priority, having a place to sleep even if it's next to a fire in worn thin sheets was your second, keeping yourself clean and injury free was your third, and learning how to deal with strangers and unknown situations was your fourth. Most novice adventurers would agree this is the order of importance, though Gian and Yij knew better. Dealing with strangers and unfamiliar territory was just as important as the first, sometimes even a greater priority.

While lots of adventurers had some sort of home to retreat to when they have had enough of what this world has to offer, there were many without such a treasure. Some saw having a home as a leash. The world was far too great and expansive to keep yourself locked to one location. The farther away from your home you ventured, the longer it takes you to return and this limited how far you can “truly” travel. Others saw a home as refuge. When the roads or times got rough, you had a place you know you can rest your head. Home was that place you returned to not because you're locked in one location, but a place you want to return to. While there are two sides to the fence, your opinion on the subject didn’t always decide whether you had a home or not. There have been many who spoke of homes as unnecessary and owned two or three places themselves. And there are others who always dreamed of a place to call their own or a room they can return to, only to be without that luxury.

There are many reasons to find to argue that being an adventurer was more foolish than any other profession or job. Your pay was whatever you could scrap together, your roads are long and mostly harsh, your life always in danger, and raising a family was plain stupid in this lifestyle. Still many found reasons to say it’s well worth these “minor” concerns. Gian had forgotten his younger brother was talking and began to nod as if he was listening the entire time, leaving his train of thought behind.

“ . . . as if I could even understand her interest in the books that she loved so much. The white eared one would probably be more down your alley Gin.” Yij had taken his first pause in a while as if waiting for a response from his ever so quiet audience.

“I’m not to fond of hands that have never held a sword.” Gian had finally tuned in to what was being discussed. “Plus you were the one she smiles at.”

“We both know why, and it had nothing to do with me.” Yij spoke at a much softer tone.

“She’s the same as most white ears we see.”

“It’s not nice to call them white ears little brother.” Gian said. “ I believe her name was Halia.”

Yij had stood up to stretch and add more wood to the fire. “I know her name.” He began to blush. “But you have to admit I’m right. It could have been any adventurer and she would have smiled the same way.” Yij had begun to poke at the fire with a stick. “She was a white . . . a higher in society elven woman who never has seen a speck of grass outside of the city. All she wanted from me was to sweep her up and take her with us to see the world of wonderland!” His voice had turned soft and careful. Like he was searching for the words that wouldn’t scare away even a poket monkey. “Every single one of them who has never even left their homes believes the outside world is a wonderland. As beautiful as it is, this world has thorns of poison in every corner.”

“What’s wrong with showing her this ‘wonderland’ that we live in?” Gian smiled knowing the response.

Yij couldn’t help but grin. “You said it best. I’m not to fond of hands that have never held a sword.”

Smiling even more than before. “Get some sleep little brother, we will be packing up at the nearest sun’s settling.” Gian said.

The two brothers gave silent good nights and Yij crawled into his bed made of dirt, his pillow made from his right arm, and his blanket that was thin enough to carry easily but thick enough to keep some warmth at night. Gian stayed up and pulled out a small book from his bag. This was usually the case most nights. Yij would be the first to sleep and the last to wake, Gian would read until only a few hours of darkness remained, and both were up at the first hour of the nearest sun’s settling to pack up and begin their venture.

As the fire continued to burn, the light it gave off began to slowly fade as time passed. Like a predator waiting to pounce, darkness slowly began to envelop the dying fire’s glow. As if a war had been going on and the light was losing to the overwhelming darkness surrounding, it grew dimmer and dimmer. When the fire lost its will to fight and was all but cinders, Gian’s book was down and his eyes closed for the night. The darkness covering the boys would enjoy the next few hours of its victory until the sun came.



© 2016 unspokenpain


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Featured Review

You have got unique style of prose. Though there are some grammatical issues. Firstly, you have used "it's will" and "it's home" wrongly, it must be "its will" and its home". Secondly, in one place, you have written have/has forgot and it actually must be forgotten. Fill in these chinks. Speaking otherwise, the work is fine. You describe the things very well and your style is pretty good. Keep writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

thank you. Why have i been doing that lately with the "it's"? I never made that mistake until recent.. read more



Reviews

You have got unique style of prose. Though there are some grammatical issues. Firstly, you have used "it's will" and "it's home" wrongly, it must be "its will" and its home". Secondly, in one place, you have written have/has forgot and it actually must be forgotten. Fill in these chinks. Speaking otherwise, the work is fine. You describe the things very well and your style is pretty good. Keep writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

thank you. Why have i been doing that lately with the "it's"? I never made that mistake until recent.. read more
Just enough to keep me wishing you'd hurry up with the next chapter so I can see where you take the brothers. Good start.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

im happy your enjoying this ^.^
Also a major change from the previous version, but I feel like we're getting a more in-depth look at the characters' personalities and modes of thinking in this one. I like that - deep characters are more relatable to the reader and more interesting, plus they usually serve a bigger role than one-sided characters. I like the way you explain some of the nuances of the adventurer's lifestyle and hint at societal misconceptions regarding this kind of existence. Some of the exposition does get a bit wordy, however, such as the paragraphs about people getting lost in the woods and the one dealing with differing opinions on the concept of "home." Also, check up on your grammar - the tenses tend to switch at times, and there are little things throughout like "it's" instead of "its", etc. I'm excited to get into some action with this story!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

thank you for the feedback. Ill be editing both this and the prologue this week!
The way you write is very intersting and keeps the reader involved with great detail. You did a great job with bringing in the brothers and showing how their personalities are without telling it. I love how you describe the scenes and different views like "Like a predator waiting to pounce, darkness slowly began to envelop the dying fire’s glow. As if a war had been going on and the light was losing to the overwhelming darkness surrounding, it grew dimmer and dimmer". These are great lines and can't wait to read more!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

I'm happy your enjoying my writing. ^.^
interesting chapter,it is coming together nicely

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unspokenpain

8 Years Ago

I do hope i can express my own joy in writing these book and keep it interesting ^.^
Cool! I like the interactions between Jorge and Michael - they are funny. Nice fight scene as well. Interested in seeing where this goes. Keep up the good work!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on May 24, 2016
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Author

unspokenpain
unspokenpain

CA



About
Poetry speaks when my words can't. Watch me dance with words. Watch me create a world. I will undress who you are. Realize the masochist inside of you as my dominating words grasp that which lets you .. more..

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Peace Peace

A Poem by unspokenpain



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