The Beast of Dreams

Poetry Speaks

Please.

I won't go back. You can't make me. A scream, that's all you'll get. Not of a child or hurt woman. But a scream of my fear, one I've never done before. Please don't make me. I can't just close my eyes. It will never go away. I beg you. Such beauty. That's how it started. But now, now its not here. The door of my fears shook with violence. Don't make me picture it. It sees me. It needs me. Such a small body came through the door, it did nothing but shake. Its eyes were dead. Please. I can't sleep. I can't dream. It turns. It will again. It never touched the ground. It stood as if human. It wasn't. Please. Don't make me remember. The worst part you say? That scream. It was not of this world. It wasn't the thing though. Oh it was me most definitely. But it didn't sound like me. There I'm tired again. You heard my fear. Please. Don't let it beat you too. You'll know it when you see it. It's not the figure of a monster that you've seen before. Matter of fact. You'll recognize it. But it won't be the same. You won't be the same.

Reviews

[Kat Mandu]

Nice job dude, it reminds me of my style, minus the random, awkward rhymes. I found the whole composition very haunting, I hope that was the intended affect! I really like your style and the rhythm, it works really well, I especially like the last couplet, the repetition works for emphasis.

[unspokenpain]

The rhymes were on accident lol. I wrote this one without the intention of having it rhyme. ^.^

[TheRaven]

I'm a greedy b*****d when it comes to things like this. I really wanted more, I wanted to know more, to see more, to watch you weave the words together into a grotesque piece of horror and fear that a chilling nightmare can provide. One of the pieces I wrote had two actual dreams I had within it, two of the strangest dreams I'd ever had though one always chills me. But, at the same time here... You did a perfect bit of old school psychological horror with a lack of visuals. You came in here with a beautifully laid out tone from beginning to end. We really got down into your thoughts and feelings. My favorite line was either when you described the small body shaking in the door; or the simple line 'It wasn't'. The detail is simple, yet utterly descriptive in a well-crafted horror movie fashion. The Shining comes to mind. I really like that ending too. You'll recognize it. I wonder, if the monster is us. Anyway, I enjoyed this; and don't worry I'll eventually get to your book chapters. Everything's been all screwy of late in my schedule.

[unspokenpain]

Thank you lol. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[AliciaB]

Woah. Super creepy, and super cool. Lots of layers to this poem. First off, I like the fact that "Please" is off by itself in the middle of the first line, as it adds unique emphasis to the word. I also love the interweaving of the begging lines - "You can't make me." "Please don't make me" - with the speaker's recollections of the nightmare. The lines "Such beauty. / That's how it started" are intriguing because they are not really explained later in the poem, though I get the feeling that "You'll recognize it. / But it won't be the same. / You won't be the same" has something to do with it. (By the way, those lines are also extremely creepy and powerful.) My favorite lines, however, have to be these: "The door of my fears shook with violence" - that really freaks me out, because sometimes when it's late and my imagination starts going haywire I picture my door shaking as if something big is slamming against it and it terrifies me. "It turns. / It will again. / It never touched the ground. / It stood as if human. / It wasn't." - That is also terrifying, especially because the detail is so vivid. I mean, there's not a lot of descriptive language in these lines, but the way in which you present them with the short, stark sentences does more than any number of illustrative words ever could. That is the mark of a good writer, ironically - knowing not just which words to use, but how to use them, and sometimes even when to not use them at all. Okay, coming back from that tangent... "It sees me. / It needs me. / Such a small body came through the door, it did nothing but shake. / Its eyes were dead." - Okay, I realize that this actually comes before the last grouping of lines I analyzed, but I have to say, this is probably the creepiest part of this poem. I am getting a vivid mental image of this creature while reading these lines, and it is horrifying. Ever little detail about this makes it extraordinarily effective as a nightmarish monster - doesn't matter that it lacks physically threatening characteristics. It's the psychological terror that gets people the most. I really enjoyed reading this poem, even though I may not be able to sleep tonight after doing so. This is probably the best of your pieces I have read. Excellent work! Keep it up!

[unspokenpain]

I'm glad you loved it. Thank you for your input. :) I think the reason this one hit it off so well is because this poem was written right after I had this nightmare, one that I never have again. What i'm saying is.. this poem is one of my only poems.. that is really me.. that person is me.. and i was very afraid.

[AliciaB]

Wow. Way to capture that experience so well with your writing. It stinks that you had to go through that, but it generated some really impressive work.

[unspokenpain]

I'm happy that you liked it so much. That itself is worth it

[AliciaB]

Aww thank you. :) I'm glad.