But Often...

A self reflective piece with no direct structure or concept just true to write it as it comes

There's this moment, I sit and ponder meaning and purpose

This moment seems a life time, truth is it's every moment between my memories

Memories that describe a lifetime failing to live up to self

Self imposed truths, self inflicted miseries, and self doubt not natural to myself

Myself, something or someone lost long ago

Myself, nothing more than the sum of other's self imposed ideals

Often it seems this way

Often I lose track and forget the day

Often I have too many ideas and too few words to say

Often is far too often...

Often doesn't seem to remind me to make it less often

But Often...

I find I'm somewhere that doesn't feel like home

I find I'm not sure I ever knew what home really was, a word, an ideal, or a dream...

Memories seem to remind me home is where the heart is

Self reminds me I've a wanders heart and a settlers mind

Myself, lost before it could be found

Myself, nothing more than articles one would find in a lost and found bin but somehow a life must be made from this

Often I'm scattered 

Often I'm there, then, and now all while being a ghost

Often I raise my glass but forget who we're here to toast

Often is far too often...

Often doesn't seem to remind me to make it less often

But Often...

I'm the best memories but worst current event

I'm the oxygen and there's a flame far too near

Memories like exhumed skeletons of our fears

Self is no different than filling a bottle with all the moments of tears

Myself, a life spent living from the grave

Myself, the soul you thought you'd save

Often I'm my crossroads

Often I'm my own worst enemy, silent bunker bombs

Often I'm the self imposed free slave

Often is far too often...

Often doesn't seem to remind me to make it less often...

But Often...

Often I'm just an unsavable_soul...

Author's Note

Bet this gets no honest reviews, both for writing ability and artistic value (o,_,O)

Reviews

[Muse]

You say I inspired you. How can I aspire when I can't inspire myself? This clearly goes back to your poem my friend. I don't think we really own the matter that makes up the concept of self. According to Genesis, we are made of the earth, and the vessel we inhabit will return to the earth. Once we are dust....dust just goes wherever the wind blows. (You can't get more cliché than that) ;) .

"I find I'm somewhere that doesn't feel like home"

I think it's because we can't stand still long enough to form that kind of attachment. Maybe that's why the artistic kind are considered restless and free spirits. Home will never be of this earth, because we are always looking to create a paradise that is lost.


"Often I'm my crossroads
Often I'm my own worst enemy, silent bunker bombs
Often I'm the self imposed free slave
Often is far too often...
Often doesn't seem to remind me to make it less often...
But Often...

Often I'm just an unsavable_soul..."

In closing.
That's because we weren't created to save ourselves...

[unsavable_soul]

Thanks for the thoughts Muse, It's food for thought and mostly relevant. I use a lot of metaphor and that in itself leaves it open to interpretation on purpose.

You were mostly on cue, but I don't generally live to save myself. I survive in that sense, I live to give as much as I can. I have a very strong belief despite my own issues and set backs that it's what you put into the world that matters.

Strong believer in pay it forward, best I can hope is something about my life saves another some portion of my own problems or suffering.

Thoughtful insight as always. Thank you Muse, it's important at least to me to see my thoughts from another's perspective