When Slow And Gentle... HURTS.

When Slow And Gentle... HURTS.

A Poem by unsavable_soul
"

This is meant to be a description of a time in my life through my clouded eyes, my depression.

"
Hours and days passed, so many times I was asked...
where is she? Shouldn't she be... 
there it always trails off, 
as now I sit alone in this two bedroom loft.
Stagger through this kitchen,
where empty bottles mark the counters like reflective stitches.
Using spirits for sutures,
could never repair facets of our future.
There is our broken picture on the floor, 
it fell the day you gently closed the door.
 
Gray rain clouds outside clear window panes.
clear pain clouds my windows gray.

I wished you away but when the time came I could only beg you to stay.
Friends now call just to see if I'm okay, 
what more can I say... it wasn't supposed to go this way.
Now I lay me down to sleep, 
near our window where I can see the street.
Hoping some day our eyes would meet, now merely a hopeless feat.
Every day I need my liquid courage, 
events lately have left me far too discouraged. 
I encouraged this downfall, 
back against the wall...
I now have to face it all. 

It's amazing how the world can seem gray... 
even when there are no rain clouds in the way.

© 2013 unsavable_soul


Author's Note

unsavable_soul
I hoped this line was easily understood. I fought myself about posting it merely because of this line. " Gray rain clouds outside clear window panes.
clear pain clouds my windows gray. "
Thoughts, anyone?

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Featured Review

this is the work that made me want to find you i read it and thought godamn this is pretty amazing i must remember this writer so i can come and read more of his works latern(again mentality of a slackard it's my illness haha) this is truly a gem i'm particularly fond of this verse:

I wished you away but when the time came I could only beg you to stay.
Friends now call just to see if I'm okay,
what more can I say... it wasn't supposed to go this way.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
near our window where I can see the street.
Hoping some day our eyes would meet, now merely a hopeless feat.
Every day I need my liquid courage,
events lately have left me far too discouraged.
I encouraged this downfall,
back against the wall...
I now have to face it all.

you captured some emotions i myself have felt before and for the reader to be able to relate to the writing that's key into making an impact on said reader great stuff :]

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

You're too kind,
But greatly appreciated. I think a lot of works a person does need be .. read more
Nestor Gonzalez

11 Years Ago

well you don't have to attempt you simply give yourself the freedom to be real and the results will .. read more
unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

so very True...
Chris



Reviews

this is the work that made me want to find you i read it and thought godamn this is pretty amazing i must remember this writer so i can come and read more of his works latern(again mentality of a slackard it's my illness haha) this is truly a gem i'm particularly fond of this verse:

I wished you away but when the time came I could only beg you to stay.
Friends now call just to see if I'm okay,
what more can I say... it wasn't supposed to go this way.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
near our window where I can see the street.
Hoping some day our eyes would meet, now merely a hopeless feat.
Every day I need my liquid courage,
events lately have left me far too discouraged.
I encouraged this downfall,
back against the wall...
I now have to face it all.

you captured some emotions i myself have felt before and for the reader to be able to relate to the writing that's key into making an impact on said reader great stuff :]

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

You're too kind,
But greatly appreciated. I think a lot of works a person does need be .. read more
Nestor Gonzalez

11 Years Ago

well you don't have to attempt you simply give yourself the freedom to be real and the results will .. read more
unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

so very True...
Chris
Wow talk about being hurt in so many ways. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

Thanks WhiteHawk.
Pain is a strong piece of who I am and it only becomes less as I bring it to.. read more
wow i really do love this one as well, it's quite powerful and full of emotions, also so much honesty and sincerity in your choice of language. really liked how you singled out these lines as well: "Gray rain clouds outside clear window panes.
clear pain clouds my windows gray."

they're really great lines... overall great piece

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

You are to kind to me. But I as much as any need the support.
Thank you
Chris
Amazing, very well crafted. I could feel the pain of the soul lost in cold gray winter in the midst of warm spring explosions of color...can brilliant flowers and songbirds exist in a world bereft of you?

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

they most certainly can as you and so many others here are my equal and more. Your words flatter me... read more
Mother Maggie

11 Years Ago

The question does indeed apply to to as well...it is also the question being asked by the soul withi.. read more
unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

Very true,
I can see in many ways you will ever so greatly improve my writing. Your perception.. read more
Oh my.... Beautifully written... :)
Each and every line, is very expressive... pours out emotions...
Loved the end... :) wonderful...
keep it up!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much Chavan, I am glad there is this mutual feeling of appreciation for each others art. L.. read more
M Chavan

11 Years Ago

Yeah...
This piece definately deserves all the appreciation it has got...

Tha.. read more
My words will never speak highly enough for my admiration of this poem! The lines, "Stagger through this kitchen, where empty bottles mark the counters like reflective stitches," speak to me in such a way that I can truly relate. Having been there, done that. Another excellent work. I am finding more and more talent in your work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

Thank you BabyGauges.
I love that you found personal meaning in this piece, because it was ver.. read more
Wow. That's an intense read. I honestly don't know what you should add to it to make it better.
"Gray rain clouds outside clear window panes.
clear pain clouds my windows gray."
I really like those two lines actually. It just shows how much the pain is affecting you. It clouds your thoughts and causes you so much distress and then it is solidified in the final two lines.
I can feel the sadness in this poem, and I hope that it leaves you, because the way it's portrayed here, no one should feel that way.
Great poem, Chris. The emotions are so overwhelming. Just wow.

Posted 11 Years Ago


unsavable_soul

11 Years Ago

Thanks, we can all be a bit shaky about our work at times. You make me feel better about this piece... read more
Harrisen Viator

11 Years Ago

Well, I'm glad that I can help out!
And it's always good to let things go, especially through.. read more

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327 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 18, 2013
Last Updated on April 18, 2013
Tags: poetry, love, loss, depression, alcoholism

Author

unsavable_soul
unsavable_soul

Gotham City, FL



About
I like to play, I like to say. Many things and many ways, for I have many days. I do not ask, I do not tell. I most certainly do not waste money down the wishing well. I theorize and I terro.. more..

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