The Grinding Stones

We are all a grinding stone!

So a day passes and people come and go
like confused masses.
Hustle and bustle, everyone pushes and shoves...
not a whole lot of room for sharing of love.
Cars and buses, bikes and pedestrians jockeying for position like professional equestrians. Between city streets and crushing feet, we grind away another day.
Anger at stop lights, and reasonless bar fights.
Pissing contests and over the top protests.
Stock market crashes and filthy rich asses who show no compassion...
these days eradication, complication, and over medication are all in fashion.
The latest look this season senseless depression without a reason.

 Where for so many is the happy in these times, 

it's cardboard and plastic but always cheap... most likely crappy. 

Many define it all by a god, others but a shrug and a nod. 

So easily we slip through the cracks, all to often because of neglecting what lacks... 

and all to often forget the moments between the black.
Trying to bring all the memories back can never make them current fact. 

Where's all the meaning between cell towers and constant wireless streaming.

When we were young we all had our dreams, 

bright and gleaming, and deeming the world would be ours. 

So we set forth to accomplish, but in this sea there are too many fish.

A lot of us have to end up someone else's dish.
so few become kings or queens, most of us just dance on our strings.

Strings of spindly play things. 
But things are not hopeless and we shouldn't be so reckless... 

we can fix this mess, we can't so carelessly leave it to the rest.

We may not be the solution, but we are still guilty for this modern pollution. 

No personal Jesus just a personal revolution.
Time for us all to stand tall, no more time to neglect and fall. 

For far to long we have sat on the sidelines ignoring all the signs. 

No longer can we think someone else will make things fine. 

It's up to me, it's up to you... what we do will show our colors true. 

No more room to hide between, all ours flaw and faults can be seen. 

It's time to come clean, time for us all to fight again for that dream... 

and cut away our guilty seam.

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[TLK]

I think "to many fish" is a typo.

Also fish / dish is a nursery rhyme, which followed up by kings and queens intensifies that feeling. I would quite like this allusion to be expanded upon, as there is an interesting difference between the adult world we live in and the children's world we learned about from fairy tales.

[unsavable_soul]

Words and rhyme schemes don't have to be complex, in fact simplicity carries it's own weight, however thanks on the typo. Please try in your comments to also not stray so far from the writers intent, it may be just me but you constantly in some sense down grading my work only makes you ineffectual in your attempts to give assistance.
I am most definitely offended to have this piece compared with nursery rhymes for a few rhyme schemes. I Feel again you are failing to see the point of reviewing works with constructive criticism.
I repeat a different version of another statement to you, if you don't feel you can express yourself in a more constructive manner to my end I ask that you please refrain from saying anything. I of course welcome opinions and criticism, but not if it can't be conveyed in a more productive way.
Thanks
Unsavable_soul

[TamTamT]

"Please try in your comments to also not stray so far from the writers intent".

I'm sorry, but the writer's intent is not necessarily clear. You do not, for example, provide detailed notes on your intent. I do not think it would be fair if you expect all readers to bring the same experiences to a poem that you did when writing it.



"I am most definitely offended to have this piece compared with nursery rhymes..."

What is wrong with referencing different forms of writing in poetry? I, for example, really enjoy classical music which takes influences some simpler folk music. The rhyme of fish / dish does have the feeling of a nursery rhyme, and I don't see why this couldn't be a powerful part of a poem from a mature writer. Do you know about Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience?

[unsavable_soul]

I agree with your first paragraph and feel there may have been a better way to convey the piece being simply, I could have conveyed this purely a concept for existence. This is appreciated.

I can't say I know Blake's songs, however more to the point. Recently I reviewed an individuals work that had these very same theme's in the sense of nursery rhyme... I know factual in a whole paragraph I proved there are more productive ways to convey this idea. I do not retract my offense, nor do I apologize for my response. My statement was simple, if this person couldn't find a better choice of words to overlook me. I did not hate on them or attack them, unless you consider my right to be offended and allowing the opportunity for the individual to deter this idea offensive.

There is no purpose in any further discussion as you seek to only prove yourself right, that can't be done... my views and reasonable response are beyond reproach. However your actions demonstrate your need for conflict.
Already resolved.
--------------