Growing Old With You

The feeling I get, tingling starts

In my wrist and moves up through to

My arm and spirals toward

My neck, chest, stomach, thighs.

The thoughts I have, twitching starts

In my right hand to pick up

The blade and trace the tingling

Feelings until they stop and I can

Breathe, satisfied. Content with the

Endorphins coursing through my system.

That actions I take, prevention starts

With punching hard to create blue

Purple yellow green brown bruises and

Heating sweet metal until it is

Malleable and the blue orange red

Flame spits and sputters with the

proximity to my arm. It elevates to

Pressing said metal close to my skin

And feeling a searing sweltering heat

That blackens invisible hairs. Anything

To keep from slicing through the veins

To see the life flow out of me. Soon

I won’t have to do any of it. Soon

You will take the place of my pain.