Selfish Love

Tension rising,
Are you happy?
Arguing gets us nowhere, you see.
I'm obsessive possessive
Possessive compulsive
And sadly I can’t cope with my growing need
Satiated, pouring past the brim
Leaning, aching, killing me
I laid in the grass for hours
Four hours
Until I came in, dirt covering me
And I transferred myself from ground
To bed, pillows, and sheets
And I slipped into coma,
And seized in my sleep
I woke up all shaky
And my heart failed me
It hurts and it aches, my stomach the same
And when I hit the wall,
I was ashamed
He called me aside
And you all exaggerated
I swear I’m all right,
Until my weight is lifted
And I’m swept away into the cool comfort
Of your fan blue arms
You leave, I shake
You’re gone, I convulse and tear and break and scratch
And continue to heave and scream and suffocate
And tumble, tumble, tumble down
Simply hate me I already do
And this is what brought on my nonconsciousness
I’ve become too attached and panicked
Panicked my way to the doctors office
14 minutes and I feel special
And ashamed
So shameful, you do not realize
It’s painful
And I yearn to choke on my thoughts
To slip under the darkness of my own hideous darkness
Just one episode of the more envious, greedy being
Deep inside of me
Because simple words are not enough
When it comes to my selfish love