Will You?

Look at this pathetic abject girl
Lowly excuse for a being
If there ever was one
I find your explanations
Tedious and overused
It’s quite amusing
How you think I believe that
You “really don’t mind” and
That you “don’t care about those things”
When I know for a fact that
It’s turmoil in your mind
These butterflies have moved
From my stomach to my mind and hands
Shaking, seizing up my body
Faint, light-headed, dizzy
Boom, boom, boom
We all fall down
Tremble, because I know
It’ll hurt so much more this time
Just because I’m not detached
Although I know I easily could
Dissociate myself from the vehemence
Babe, I love you
And babe, this is a joke
Because damn do I feel ignorant
And dim-witted
You caught me up
In this ludicrous game
Ring, ring, ring
I pick myself up off the ground
In time to miss your call
Only to sink back into dismal lacuna
Disappointment binds to my bones
As I drift into oblivion,
Thinking about all the ways you could hurt me
Reject me,
Cast aside,
Renounce,
Repudiate,
And discard
Sometimes I am nothing
Just an object for the hatred
I’d love to take your pain, and others
But I sometimes feel a twinge of longing
Desire for a meaning
To something, someone
This keeps me more attached
Than I would be any other day, time, place, person