THE ADVENTURES OF NICK AND ZACH EPISODE 2

awesomeness.......ish

 

The Adventures of Nick and Zach

Episode 2

By: Zachary Lyons

 

"Wal-Mart"

 

 

         Scene 1

 

Setting: At Zachs House. Zach awakens from sleep and walks to kitchen. Nick is sitting in a chair.

 

 

Zach: What are you doing here so early?

 

Nick: I Slept here.

 

Zach: Really why?

 

Nick: Remember that one time we went to white castle?

 

Flashback

 

zach: yeah. what about it?

 

Nick: you know that little dance we did?

 

Flashback

 

Zach: yeah

 

Nick: well it turns out the guy in the car infront of us was offeneded by my hand gesture. So i was watching tv and who was

       to come to my door but that same guy. He had some kind of package with him so i snuck out and came here.

 

Zach: you really think he was gonna try and do something.

 

Nick: i wasnt about to take a chance. He's a postal worker and i have heard about them getting all disgruntled and shooting

       people up.

 

Zach: Dont you think he might have just been running his route?

 

Nick: I dont trust him.

 

Zach: Im sure its nothing to worry about its like when we were little kids and you were scared to use the bathroom because you

       thought a gremlin was hiding in your toliet.

 

Flashback

 

Nick: What, that was a very understandable fear.

 

Zach: No it wasnt. how are gremlins going to get you in the toilet. As soon as they touched the toilet water they would start

       multipying.

 

Nick: Yeah but didnt you see gremlins 2 they got smarter. dont you think that eventually they would have invested in some

       tinted scuba suits or something.

 

Zach starts to talk to the camera

 

Zach: Youre kidding me right thats all you can think of, damn you fat lyons screen writers. how do you come up with this crap.

 

Nick: They must have a lot of free time on there hands.

 

Zach: Start it over now!!

 

New take ( Dramatic )

 

Zach: Nick theres only one thing you can do when you think somebodys gonna kill you.

 

Nick: whats that?

 

Zach: Strike First.

 

Pulls out gun and throws a sword to nick

 

Zach: NIck

 

Nick: yah zach

 

Zach: Its hunting season.

 

Nick: apllesauce b***h.

 

Zach and NIck look at camera

 

NIck: oh come on now were quoting movies.

 

Zach: Damn you fat lyons. New Take!!

 

Nick: Snooch 2 da nooch.

 

Random guy: Word.

 

Ritual Suicide take

 

Zach and Nick sit watching the ring

 

Zach: I dont like this cut!!

 

Nick: Seven Days!!

 

New Take

 

Zach: Enough of that lets go somewhere.

 

Nick: Like where?

 

Zach: Wal-Mart

 

Nick: why wal-mart.

 

Zach: They allow loitering

 

NIck: alright let me go get ready

 

Director: and cut i think we got a wrap.

 

Nick: thank god.

 

    End Scene

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    Scene 2

 

Setting: NIck and Zach are getting into car about to drive to wal-mart.

 

 

Zach: I thought you were getting a new car?

 

Nick: I was hoping too but i cant get a job anywhere to get the rest of the money i need.

 

Zach shrugs and they get into car.

 

Zach and Nick are driving to wal-mart. nick is driving.

 

Zach: I know how you could get that money?

 

NIck: Really? how's that?

 

Zach gives Nick a look. cut. reapears. YOu see Zach then zoom out and see nick. Nick is standing with a sign reading "Give to

the blind. If I could see I would give to you." Zoom out again. Another sign appears that reads "Charity fund raiser for the

B.S.A.A (blind sports association of america)." Pictures below of blind kids playing sports.

 

Nick: I can't believe you talked me into this.

 

Zach: Dont look at me your supposed to be blind.

 

Nick: do you really expect people to buy this?

 

Zach: maybe, but people will definately give us some cash after they have read are other sign.

 

Zoom out again. Another sign appears that reads. "Give 5$ or more and recieve chance to be winner of free gas for a year."

 

Zach: People will do anything for free gas these days. Short of slavery and giving up their diets. Plus we have the charity

       factor going for us. If they dont give we can just make a deal out of it and thell give so they wont be judged as snobbish.

 

Nick: You know this is probably the worst thing you have ever talked me into. Except for going to that superman movie.

 

flashback

 

Zach: Damn you Brandon Routh.

 

cut back

 

NIck: how much money have we raised so far?

 

Zach: Around a 1000$

 

Nick: What!?

 

Zach: Like i said, people will do anything at the chance of free gas. we could make a living off of this if we never got caught.

 

Nick: Well thats enough lets get out of here before god smits us were we stand.

 

Zach: Alright. Heres your cane.

 

Zach and Nick start walking out of store. Nick is trying to walk while still looking blind.

 

Zach: You know we could make a living doing this. I could imagine it know. we could pose as all kinds

       of things.

 

Dream Sequence

 

Zach: This is Nick he has a deformity of the legs and has to crawl on hands and knees. he also suffers from severe redardation.

       that has lead him to believe that he is a dog. but he can still talk. Thats why his nickname at the ward is "the amazingly

       retarded Scooby-Doo."

      

NIck is on all 4's on leash. iN mall crowd gathered around. zoom out. sign appears that reads, "Give to the A.A.D.S.R.W.H.C.T.B.T.A.T.D (the american association

for the derormed and severly retarded who have come to believe they are talking dogs). zoom out again. New sign appears that reads "Give 5$ or more and recieve

chance to be winner of free gas for a year."

 

People cheer.

 

People's Cheer: Yeah!!!!!!

 

Zach whispering to nick: told ya.

 

Dream Sequence ends

 

Zach: What do you think? Pretty clever huh?

 

Nick: Not a chance in hell. (walks off) ill go get the car.

 

Zach throws keys to nick.

 

Zach: Remember to keep youre eyes open. and watch the road.

 

Nick catches keys and feels around with cane to get out.

 

Zach: Ill meet you out there in a second.

 

Zach walks over to counter and pays for a leash and coller.

 

Zach: Just incase.

 

                                     End Scene

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  

                                     Scene 3

 

Setting: Driving home from wal-mart. nick is driving. Passing waffle house.

 

 

 

Nick:  Hey look waffle house.

 

Zach: yep.

 

Nick: remember that one girl who kept hitting on me that one time we ate thier?

 

Zach: The one in the wheel chair?

 

Nick: Yeah. boy that b***h was ugly.

 

Zach: Listen to you. you just got done pretending to be blind to get money and now youre insulting the handicapped. Thats a

       real good way to live your life. and you call me self-indulged.

 

Nick: You were the one that proposed we do it.

 

Zach: Dont bring me into this just because you fell to peer pressure. and i didnt do anything you were the "blind one".

 

Nick: (Sarcasticcaly) Sure.

 

Nick: Anyways, they need to hire some good looking people in there. Maybe have some strippers on the table.

 

Zach: Not to sanitary in my opinion. Although you do have a point, truckers stop by there a lot. they would probably get really

       good buisness.

 

Nick: hell id go there and i live there.

 

Zach: (sarcasticcaly) you would.

 

Nick and Zach drive around for a while until they pass a huddle house

 

Nick: i just wanna know one thing. I just want to know this one question. Why in the hell is huddle house called huddle house

       its the same thing as waffle house but its called huddle house. You get what i mean dont ya.

 

Zach: Copyright laws num-nuts. why else would k-mart be called that. it sounds like a place where you would buy k's.

 

Nick: Yeah maybe. But you think if you were gonna go to huddle house you would wanna be huddling with them you know.

 

Zach: Huddling?

 

Nick: You know like screwing them.

 

Zach: do you have any idea of what you just said?

 

Nick: Umm....

 

Zach: A huddle is practiccaly the same thing as a waffle.

 

Nick: It iS?

 

Zach: Yeah

 

Nick: oh, maybe thats why im confused.

 

Zach: Or it might be because youre a moron. See im tellin you we need to go with that handicapped charity idea. Pull that story out

       of your a*s and well fool them for sure.

 

flashback to dream sequence

 

Nick tells story.

 

Random guy#2: wow this guy needs all the help he can get. Here you go, my car keys, my life savings, and my collection of adult

magazines.

 

Zach: thats what im talking about.

 

Nick: Nicky, Nicky dooooo!!!!!

 

Cut back

 

NIck: Theres still no way in hell im doing it.

 

Zach: Here pull over here for a sec.

 

Zach goes in and buys another leash and collar.

 

Zach: just incase.

 

        End Scene

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

        Scene 4

 

Setting: Driving up to Nick's house to turn in for the day.

 

Nick: Oh my god. look its that same guy walking up my driveway.

 

Zach: You know what to do.

 

Nick nods at zach. pushes on the pedal and runs over guy. gets out and stands on top of guy.

 

Nick: Applesauce b***h!!

 

Zach: hey nick. Copyright laws remember?

 

Nick: oh ya. well then. HOsta La Vista baby!!

 

Zach covers face with hand and shakes head.

 

Zach: heh look theres that package.

 

Nick: whats inside?

 

Zach: its a christmas card. it reads "merry christmas from youre mailman."

 

Nick: Wow, irony. what are we gonna do with the body?

 

Zach: Oh dont worry. I now a guy.

 

Zach pulls out phone and calls somebody.

 

Zach: Neo we need youre help.

 

Nick: You mean?

 

Zach: yah. its time to go back into the matrix.

 

Nick: damn it.

 

      End

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