Depression

A poem how my depression affects me

Depression is wearing a 1000 pound weight while in water up to your chin.  No matter what you have to keep your head up to survive.

It looking and seeing how far away heaven is. And hating that moment.

It is seeing what you want so passionately drifting just past your fingertips. And reaching for it. Breathing in water.

Sacrificing drowning.

Depression is the pressure in your chest. Asthmatic. Breathing in even tho I don’t want to.

Depression is finally falling asleep and waking up so pissed off for no reason.  When the only thing that died is your pride. Pushing away anyone who loves you. Desert them before they desert me.

It is quicksand. It is being alone in a crowded room.

It is an "I’m alright"

"I’m ok"

"I’m really ok, I swear."

It is applying a clown face. Acting like everything is alright. Knowing at any second, you will explode.

It is tears that you will never cry because you are scared to add to the water that you are already almost drowning in.

Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus. Worthless.

Yea, I wanna die but not like this.

Its getting a 200 hours of sleep and still waking up so damn tired. It is biting your nails till they bleed. It is constantly grinding your teeth till they hurt.

Depression is the demon at the bottom of the Paxil bottle. It going to the bathroom in the dark because you don’t want to see yourself in the mirror.

The thanks for nothing look you give to the people who say pray and everything will be ok.

Trying to find a clear definition of self.

The only explanation is crazy.

Depression is why this has no ending

Author's Note

just a poem I threw together

Reviews

[Jenny]

This had nothing to do with my review but it's slightly unsettling that today is the first but it says you wrote it on the second hahaha

You capture emotions and attitudes that coincide with depression so effectively. I even saw myself in many instances throught the poem. Very relatable.

Thank you so much for sharing
you have an amazing talent
keep writing

J

[Jade Whatever]

thank you. and your welcome.
And that is funny that it says I posted it on the 2nd.

[Jenny]

;) anytime