Emotional Bill

Good poem and the title will do

i trusted you.

 you didnt trust me.

 that is why it wasnt meant to be.

 for now Ill just stay free.

 but.

 freedom is just some people talking.

 without love we are just halves walking.

 in the shadows we are stalking.

 when light hits us we stand gawking.

 but.

 the light of another is our goal.

 and the feelings we cannot control.

 sometimes we go deeper into our hole.

 sometimes we comeout because we want to know.

 but.

 to be loved is just a want.

we dont need the taunt..

 

 we can go on without.

 and still we come out..

 

 we want love to come and play.

 and when it does we want it to stay..

 

 sometimes it will

 or you pay an emotional bill.

Author's Note

Emotional bill is the sadness, hurt, and moving on part when it's over. Also thanks for the name suggestions. I'll use this one.

Reviews

[Jeanette]

Very nice Harwee! =)

[Irvette Dauphine]

you can set the rhythmic and 'but' mean new rhythmic
and the poem it shelf is amazing
i like it..

[Dearantlers]

WOW! That is an amazing poem, for a few reasons that I just have to tell you.
1-The rhyming scheme was amazing! How did you do that!?! I can't ever come up with anything that rhymes with something as simple as me. (That's why I love that you can google things like that. :D ) Completely amazing! I had no idea so many words rhymed with talking.
2-I love how you put "but" in there all the time. It changed the rhyming word every time, but it added to the poem like you couldn't believe. Great!
3-The poem itself is just amazing! I really don't know what to say about it cause it left me speechless! WOW!
4-You just have a gift with writing. You can do it so well, and you're poems are just so filled with emotions, which I think is one of the reasons they're so great!
5-Title fits perfectly!

[Aurora .I.]

I really enjoyed this piece, the title really draws peoples attention. As all of the other work I've seen, it's straightforward and truthful which is simple yet beautiful. I really love the lines 'Freedom is just some people taking, without love we're just two halves walking.' Though I don't completely agree with it, in a sense it's true.

[Alrick]

wow, i love the title. absolutely perfect for the poem, and i wouldn't change anything about this. love it.

[Miranda Richard]

Good job, I like it. I tried to create a contest but couldn't figure out how to name a winner. Ugh. This site confuses me, :(

[Harley (arbiter)]

It does me to.

[Miranda Richard]

Ah well, when you have the chance check out my newest poems. *sigh* nobody reviews them. (feels like she's telling you to check out her poems too often.)

[Soulfulbubbles]

very nice introspection..


:)

[BuffyWillowDawnAngelGil..]

nice name! but do "sometimes we !comeout!" as sometimes we !come out!".

[Harley (arbiter)]

Thanks I will when I got a Tad time. It's oon my 2 do list!

[Aehr]

hey, this is actually really nice. The flow is really good.. well done!

[deepblue04]

I totally agree with this. I like the way you wrote this. I have emotions that everyone would deal with when it comes to love. Good job and keep up the good work.