The Unforgiven II

Imagine the periods as new lines

perfect match.

 kids in love...

 her dad found out.

 and we exchanged words..

. he went for a drive to blow off steam.

 he gets into a crash and she blames me...

she says its over. but i dont want to give up...

 shes really mad.

 and i can see why...

 its fathers day.

and her dad almost died...

 she wont forgive me.

 i dont think it was even my fault...

 people say give her time and space

. i think if i do that it will be too late...

 S

Reviews

[Alrick]

wow, i can certainly relate to this helplessness when it comes to decisions. two paths, neither or which will work. Great piece, enjoyed reading it. very deep in few words.

[Mazie Tackett]

nice

[Fréyjä Helv..]

These things happen kid... I've been there too... Keep it up...

[Paul R. Watson]

It great that you are turning real experiances into writing! No its not your fault but these things happen in life...
My only suggestion is work on spicing up your verbage, grab the reader and take them on a ride with your words! Good writing

[Dearantlers]

I don't think it's your fault. As a girl, I understand why she would blame you though. She has a bunch of emotions tumbling around in her head all centering around her father. She has to get some of them out, and blaming you is just one way to get rid of them. I really don't know how to help you. Giving her some time would be good, but I understand your concerns too. My best advice would be to give her a little space, but also be there for her. She's going through a hard time and it's nice to have a friend by your side. I don't know though. That's how I would like someone to do it for me if I was in her place, but I don't know if that's what she would like too. Sorry, i can't be of much help.
Great poem though!

[Soulfulbubbles]

not your fault, stay strong to your truth.



great piece.... hits me in my heart and my gut. i don't think you need to use enter
its great as it is

[LittleLover]

This is really sad, but an amazing poem. Your a really great writer!! I love reading your work. this piece is quite sad... I don't know how to have her forgive you, i just think you should give her a little space. but don't let her go, if she means enough to you then don't let her go, but give her some time to think about things. Give her time to cool off. I bet its no tthat easy on her, so just give her some time.
Back to the poem :P
I really love it, definitely going in my library!!

[Talismanic]

hang in there. i can't pretend to know details, and don't take my advice, i just know how you feel. The thing is, our minds have been wired to see everything as a matter of cause and effect; blame is just blind reflex to try to make sense of the things we can't control. i guess i hate to say this bcoz it's what everyone says, but these situations have a way of dredging up the stuff underneath - anxieties, baggage and such - like a reality check. All you can feel/think is that you've gotta make it right with her, but if she's pushing you away, chances are there's big factors of a relationship she isn't ready to deal with. What sucks is that: it isn't up to you. We all respond to shock differently, so you've gotta give a lot of leeway - and trust - the reverse side is, waiting's hell and will probably push you to obsession. They say you're young and what could you possibly know, so walking away is best and letting go can be the strongest thing for someone you 'love' ... but, (this is my opinion coming through), it's the lowest and weakest aswell bcoz that's bullshit - that's what you'd do if you didn't give a damn. i know what matters most is knowing you've done all you could - that you got through to her, and were true to yourself and gave her every choice.

[xEmix]

No It's not your fault he went for a drive you didn't force him to do that it was of his own free will. Good write. keep writing :)