Unforgiven I.I (tweaked)

a tweak of Metallica "The Unforgiven"

new love joins this earth
but quickly it sucumbs
through nervous pained disgrace
the young boy acts a fool

short time; the love is gone
both sides in the wrong
deprived of even talks
the young boy walks alone
a-long
the road
with a pain seeming his own
that she seems not to bear
she no longer care

what I felt
what I known
nerves kept in
never shown
couldn't let her see
feelings never free
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through
in what I've shown
she'll never see
my feelings free
so I'm the unforgiven

I dedicate my time
to care, but its a crime
I try and I fall
a lonely man I walk
through out my life the same
I've battled constantly
a fight I'll never win
this lonely guy you see
no longer smiles
the young blood now prepares
to hide his feelings
the young blood here is me

what I felt
what I know
nerves kept in
never shown
couldn't let her see
feelings never free
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
she'll never see
my feelings free
so I'm the unforgiven

(1st and 2nd solos)

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
It'll never be
she'll never see
won't see what might have been

what she felt
what she's shown
faded away when I went home
we'll never be
never with me
so I'm the unforgiven

(3rd solo)

never be
never me
I'm the unforgiven

you let go of me
I hold on to you
so I'm the unforgiven

never free
never see
won't see what could've been

you invited me
I came to you
but in the end, it was through

never me
never you
I'm the unforgiven

you ignor me
I notice you
thats why I'm the unforgiven

our history
short as it be
I'm here for you
because I'm the unforgiven

Author's Note

this is the original song its awesome ^_^ mine doesnt flow perfectly at all times. i wrote it today, half in school, half at home listening to the song lol

Reviews

[natzky]

really nice...harhar...ur such a witty guy lil' big bro..:)

[Lina Grey]

Nice twist. The rhyming is great and it flows well enough to me. It's a great tribute, to one of the most amazing songs by one of the most amazing bands ever :)

[Harley (arbiter)]

yes! thanks ^_^

[That_Girl]

Love Metallica!

[Harley (arbiter)]

like I said I kinda wanted to put my own twist and emotions in my favorite song of theirs. they are beast of beasts

[That_Girl]

Best classic metal (whatever 'classic rock' genre you want to put them in) band probably...

[That_Girl]

It's not posting everything I'm saying!!!! grrrr... I love this. Bottom line.

[Harley (arbiter)]

they are simply awesome. the kings of metal. lol thanks

[afra]

great rhyme and the flow was amazing ....good work harley

[Harley (arbiter)]

thanks

[The Analog Kid]

This follows the song rhythm and flow very well. I haven't heard this tune in a while. Nice tribute and twist.

[Harley (arbiter)]

thanks man. its my favorite metallica song and I wanted to kinda give my own twist to it

[The Analog Kid]

YW and well done!

[Harley (arbiter)]

thanks. heck we should start working on that collab if you have any time or ideas. im kinda on a roll. lol

[The Analog Kid]

yeah just pick one and I'll roll with it:)