Unforgiven I.I (tweaked)

a tweak of Metallica "The Unforgiven"

new love joins this earth
but quickly it sucumbs
through nervous pained disgrace
the young boy acts a fool

short time; the love is gone
both sides in the wrong
deprived of even talks
the young boy walks alone
a-long
the road
with a pain seeming his own
that she seems not to bear
she no longer care

what I felt
what I known
nerves kept in
never shown
couldn't let her see
feelings never free
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through
in what I've shown
she'll never see
my feelings free
so I'm the unforgiven

I dedicate my time
to care, but its a crime
I try and I fall
a lonely man I walk
through out my life the same
I've battled constantly
a fight I'll never win
this lonely guy you see
no longer smiles
the young blood now prepares
to hide his feelings
the young blood here is me

what I felt
what I know
nerves kept in
never shown
couldn't let her see
feelings never free
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
she'll never see
my feelings free
so I'm the unforgiven

(1st and 2nd solos)

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
It'll never be
she'll never see
won't see what might have been

what she felt
what she's shown
faded away when I went home
we'll never be
never with me
so I'm the unforgiven

(3rd solo)

never be
never me
I'm the unforgiven

you let go of me
I hold on to you
so I'm the unforgiven

never free
never see
won't see what could've been

you invited me
I came to you
but in the end, it was through

never me
never you
I'm the unforgiven

you ignor me
I notice you
thats why I'm the unforgiven

our history
short as it be
I'm here for you
because I'm the unforgiven

Author's Note

this is the original song its awesome ^_^ mine doesnt flow perfectly at all times. i wrote it today, half in school, half at home listening to the song lol

Reviews

[GunMetal]

I like doing this from time to time. I think it's a good exercise, and it's really fun too. I like what you've done with this!

[Ruby]

I love it 100/100

[deepblue04]

this is going to be some what of a long song, but I love it! Good job!

[SHEEMA HUQ]

a deep thoughtful, presisely structured poem

[_]

*stops dancing after reading last line* Well that was fun! ^-^ I really loved this. Now I must dance my way out! *does robot* Peanut Butter training time!

[Mariah Corey]

That was amazing, ilove when u said "
what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through
in what I've shown
she'll never see
my feelings free
so I'm the unforgiven" that just made my heart skip. :D

[Harley (arbiter)]

thanks so much ^_^

[Mariah Corey]

Thank u for writing this. :D

[Skia1717]

Incredible... it's done so perfectly I can feel it...

[Erika Jones]

I love Metallica, and this song was I've if the best!

[T. Logan]

That's pretty awesome! I like that you included the video with it.

[♪Barklight♪]

Dats cool