The Parting Soul

I came up with this after listening to TheMercifulServant. How does it feel.. Death?

The Parting Soul - unfathomd

What if I told you that your body,

is nothing more than a garland,

that you wear around like a garment

that screens the confining darkness

and liberates them, as black clouds

which pepper your mind with dark thoughts.

Yes, we call ourselves human beings,

who are made out of dust, for the time being.

The form that you are seeing,

is a reflection from a mirror in which you are dreaming.

Its not the dream that you see while you are sleeping,

but when you are awake, alive and breathing.

What if I told you that it takes only one millionth of a second,

to slip into the dark numbness of the moment.

The impending whisper of death,

that is imminent after every passing breath.

With that final sigh, you are marked by your deeds and devotion,

which adheres you to your loved ones' emotion,

and extricates you, from your daily commotion

As oblivion seeps through, while you are frigid and frozen.

Author's Note

Hello there :) Didn't take much time to write this, the theme is a bit dark but I dunno why I came up with this :

Reviews

[Beautiful Disaster]

Its amazinggg....Great job

[unfathomd]

Awww! thank you :) well ur name itself is an oxymoron ;) I like that :D :D lol

[Anthony Wayne]

"What if I told you.." - Great opener
I really like this poem, it has a deeper meaning that needs more than one reading. It's a somewhat dark theme that left me feeling curious. Nice job.

[unfathomd]

Thank you. :) I hope you liked it, or at least, understood :)

[andrew mitchell]

Impressed by your thoughts and the direction you took the reader on a dark but pondering journey.

[unfathomd]

Thanks a lot Andrew mitchell for reading this :) :)

[Tori Jones]

"What if I told you that it takes only one millionth of a second,
to slip into the dark numbness of the moment.
The impending whisper of death,
that is imminent after every passing breath."

This part is my favorite...And while this poem may be a bit dark it is still full of power and meaning...Nobody could've written this poem better than you have...Great job! God bless...

Your Truly,
Tori....

[unfathomd]

Thank you Tori :) :) well you've gone through some of the dark phases yourself, (not death) so yea... dark themes are easy to relate to.. :)

[Tori Jones]

Yes, they are...

[Anindita Janhabee]

Deep within thoughts, dark within words yet too much wisdom in here... One has to read over and over to understand better. And that provides what we call understanding. This is a different piece about life...truth of life...that this body is a dream, reality lies elsewhere.....
good piece...
some suggestions : The first line should be 'I tell you'
then, 'it's not the dream that you see while you are sleeping' or 'your sleep'. Any one is correct...
nice work !!!

[unfathomd]

Thanks for the review. :) "I tell you" is too mainstream.. its better with the Matrix Morpheus ;) Thank you for the suggestion.. the second one.. i changed it.. had missed it earlier :)