The Parting Soul

I came up with this after listening to TheMercifulServant. How does it feel.. Death?

The Parting Soul - unfathomd

What if I told you that your body,

is nothing more than a garland,

that you wear around like a garment

that screens the confining darkness

and liberates them, as black clouds

which pepper your mind with dark thoughts.

Yes, we call ourselves human beings,

who are made out of dust, for the time being.

The form that you are seeing,

is a reflection from a mirror in which you are dreaming.

Its not the dream that you see while you are sleeping,

but when you are awake, alive and breathing.

What if I told you that it takes only one millionth of a second,

to slip into the dark numbness of the moment.

The impending whisper of death,

that is imminent after every passing breath.

With that final sigh, you are marked by your deeds and devotion,

which adheres you to your loved ones' emotion,

and extricates you, from your daily commotion

As oblivion seeps through, while you are frigid and frozen.

Author's Note

Hello there :) Didn't take much time to write this, the theme is a bit dark but I dunno why I came up with this :

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and true words.
"What if I told you that it takes only one millionth of a second,
to slip into the dark numbness of the moment.
The impending whisper of death,
that is imminent after every passing breath."
The above lines are non-fiction. Easy to kill, easy to die. Harder to stay alive. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[...]

Yes life it self is very mysterious and tender. We can explore and find out. We can see who we realy are. I think this poem help me at my own exploration. So thank you very much.

[unfathomd]

Life is indeed mysterious.. its joyful, tiring, sometimes...boring.. but yeah.. at the end of the day when we put all these things together, thats what makes it beautiful :) Thanks a lot for the review :)

[...]

you wellcme it s realy good poem

[richieb]

Unfanthomd,
Your tone is a bit dark but you bring about some interesting looks at life and death.You used solid descriptions to show your thoughts. Your writing style has improved and you are making strides in the maturity of your work.
Richie b.

[unfathomd]

Experience is the best teacher they say :) Initially when we start writing we are under the impression that everything's gonna be fine and perfect.. now.. when I read the works that I wrote last year, it sounds soo immature xD

[zunie frost]

i like it !
What if I told you that your body,
is nothing more than a garland,
that you wear around like a garment
that screens the confining darkness
and liberates them, as black clouds
which pepper your mind with dark thoughts.
the starting is awsome !!
great job

[unfathomd]

Thank you zunie :)

[zunie frost]

welcome !!

[LazerRays]

This was very good!! i enjoyed this much!!!

[unfathomd]

Thanks a lot S.A.P :D :D

[diana Apiyo]

Hi Unfathomd,
Your work is captivating i love it .

[unfathomd]

Thank You diana :)

[horizon]

Really very nice....good luck

[horizon]

Wow..very finely depicted the truth of a human...that we are mere humans nothing is permanent so stop believing in difference coz everyone's got ta go in a same way

[unfathomd]

Truee! :) exactly what I wanted to convey.. :) Thanks for the review

[Pallab]

Nice work.. your philosophy of this poem is great. you really pointed out the truth.

[unfathomd]

Thanks a lot Pallab :) for the review

[Pallab]

you're welcome