A Sense of Life

This is the way I see life. Everyone has got a different opinion. So, I don't say that mine is the right one. No I don't. :)

SENSE OF LIFE - unfathomd

In this small square room of mental illusion,

I look at my reflection in a state of desolation.

I'm not what I am in this state of confusion,

I'm trampled on the ground by my sense of delusion.

I'm a black-hole in the corner of one of my classes,

absorbing all hatred and negativity that passes.

I see no light, nor a glimmer of hope,

what I haven't learnt is the courage to cope.

I need contraceptives for my mind.

Can't bear this cynicism and broken lies.

My thoughts are sown with verbal abuses,

raised by water like the weeds on turf-grasses.

Solitude was my belief in transient relief.

Its not a permanent cure, but just a relief.

When I snap out of it, I'm in the very same shoes,

I'm leached out of my strength, from out of the blue.

Escape from reality has never been an option.

Blacking out on drugs have never been a solution.

The past three years, I have witnessed huge losses,

instead of the results, now I discern the causes.

It might not just be mine, but your life too,

But what the wise men say, is indeed true -

Your deep sense of hurt, builds up your power,

because what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...

Author's Note

There are lots of errors due to my limited knowledge, I cant find them all... so, do point them out :) Thank you :)

Reviews

[D]

Maybe... I sometimes think of the main component of life as nothing but a series of addictions and choices...just sometimes.

very well penned.

[unfathomd]

Yea.. thats right. honestly, I didn think about it :) Thank you pokolgep ive got to include that in my upcoming writings :) Thanx a lot :)

[D]

people are addicted to a lot of things both useful, and not.
thinking on a bigger scale, we're also addicted to life, which sometimes seems to be just another complex of addictions... you're welcome.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I like your positive view on life.
This was indeed written straight from the heart, and it tells everyone exactly what your views and opinions are as well as how you feel.
I don't really think allot of the bad things that happened to me made me stronger, but it could be true for some people that saying.
I enjoyed reading this.
By the way great Rhyme scheme :)

[unfathomd]

Thank you for the review, but its true, whatever you've said cimmy :) "Everyone bears pain in their heart, it either makes you or breaks you" - Sam Marcellin :) Our choice matters right? :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Yes our choices do matter :)
Your welcome :)

[richieb]

Unfanthomd,
When you write from the heart , don't worry about errors. It is important to get your feelings translated into words on paper. We only have a limited time to put the process into play, because then the thoughts and emotions start to fade and we lose their strength.
I think you did an excellent job of stating your feelings. Your poem had an accent of modern rap to it. Your limited knowledge will grow stronger as you practice this art and live life longer. Writing stories or poems will grant you a keener vision of life. You will see things in everyday activity that others are blinded from. Not because you have super human talents but because your mind will be growing acute to realizing its happenings and surroundings.
Keep working,
Richie b.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Sorry but I couldn't spot the errors cause I was completely rapt in the philosophy and deep thoughts of this piece...
You are really talented and I see you are like me... partly imaginative and partly writing being lonely and curious...(sad may be). I liked the way you had tried to rhyme the words... You see, there are always 2 ways of reading a poem - one with heart and other with mind... like, I read with heart so couldn't find errors but found wisdom in your words. If I'd have read by mind, surely I'd have got errors...
Here, this way I read your thoughts not merely your poem........ : )
May be I have a habit of reading that way... But I will surely try to try out the next way too ( hehehehe ) : )
Anindita : )