Only Hope

Those were the days when a girl like me fell madly in love with a boy like you.

“Why are you so damn clingy?”

All I did was graze my fingertip over those rough pair of hands that have been disfigured into distorted contours of asymmetry so I can bear the pain of the scars engraved onto your flesh, and to remind you that you are never alone, but you are shouting at me . . . . again. You are yelling that I should have known better than to be an insolent b***h and that I should have known better than to dare set my filthy hands on your precious skin, as if I am a carrier of a lethal virus. As if I am a parasite of love. Perhaps if I scrub my flesh with sterile sanitizer, then maybe my lone wish of seeing your luscious lips form two tiny crescents even for a fleeting moment will be granted. You are the only soul I have ever entrusted my heart completely to. You pledged to handle it with care but can your microscopic lenses see the cracks beginning to emerge? Before my mouth darts to emit haste apologies, may I ask you: why?

All of your violent tyrannies that replaced our passionate kisses, all of your indifference that burned the radiating happiness to every wonderful memory we shared, all of your aversion to my existence that once meant the world to you, created a whirlwind of tempestuous fire that once sought to fan your burning flames. Why must you condemn me to this pitiful life that scrapes me to the marrow each time you decide to push me down? Why must you implement such atrocity upon my fragile being? There are times when you are with me but the next moment you are reviling me for the faults in my stars. I only strove to fulfill every duty as being a devoted lover, but I surmise that doing so will only lead to my ultimate demise.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to whisper, with awkward diffidence.

Beckoning me to your favorite leather recliner, I slither rather abjectly towards your awaiting figure. You spend an awfully lengthy period of time in thrusting out your pink tongue at me as far as you roots could stretch without tearing through the fold of mucous membrane that holds your acerbic tongue. I should have known that you were only prolonging the inevitable, but I never dreaded those playful pats to become cell splitting blows. In those final moments before the two hands of the clock struck midnight, what ran rampant through the vast fields of your mind? Did you muse at my repulsive appearance that often caused you to become bilious? Did you happen to realize that despite your acrid spite, I choose to linger longer than the rest? Did you take a pause in mortality to even think?

“This is for your impudence in daring to set one nail on me,” you say using a harsh tenor, “and for thinking you have the right to shove your pathetic existence at my face, and for crying, you disgusting mutt!”

I tottered and dug my battered knees into the floor. I was reduced to such a broken form by you, my love, as my soul wilted towards the awaiting agony underneath the filthy floorboards. The wounds you have made will eventually fade into permanent scars, a physical reminder of the love I had lost. But I have long grown accustomed to the abuse you bestowed upon me, and so I never formulated a single thought of responding to it; my only care was how much harder it would be to witness that dazzling smile when all that came was the snap of broken bones following the fracture of a broken heart.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell you.

The power of love has left me powerless.

Author's Note

There are mistakes; be courteous.

Reviews

[Eun Jee Nikki Kang]

I don't know you but I know anyone who is spoken to like that deserves better. I sincerely hope that you never return to this person because if a person can do it once, they can do it twice. You deserve better. The power of love has left you powerless? Why not, the power of love has made you stronger in search of something that can equate to it?