Painful silence

you, me, two different journeys but one home...

i wish you could hold on tight to me but you

left my hand like you left our childhood too

i know we are not children anymore

but it takes nothing to behave like two

your clothes are wrapped around my pillow

my tears are all over the place

flashbacks from last year of what we did today

now i'm shouting and screaming as if some heartbreak

i guess i'll walk alone but every other time it gets colder

no heavy hand to push off my shoulders

plans have shattered but maybe for good

for what u've gotta be there alone, like a shadow in the woods

cant say no more, the weather may have a doubt

trees falling down, flood pulling my strengths away out of town

there's a soft smell of your touch inside my bruises

and a rhythm follows me calling your whispers and muses 

that one step was a blow on our self built dominos

they fell on one by one in front of my eyes

but my hands were tied while i was dancing on your farewell

with another hand, i don't even remember so well

all of this comes through a path of fury

but on the other side, i'm elated for you to leave for a dream

i wake up everyday and be proud of you to do so

and i wish for the good gates to always stay open in front of you

in the closing, the cake cutting felt like cutting our strings

and you hid your falling drops behind a winning smile

but i could see through, heavy heart, oh how hard you tried

but my promise would stand tall, those strings wont ever fall

now i see your face on my lock screen, 

there you remain quiet like you've never been

no endless knocks on my bathroom door

no songs in cracking voices making my ears feel sore

this painful silence is hurting me

this painful silence is hurting me

oh, this painful silence is hurting me 

nothing but this painful silence is all i feel

i wonder why i had to be like this, 

you're in the world same as mine, but too far from my eyes

unbelievable of how strong is our love and hate

the unbreakable heaven when i see your face

i could tell you anytime, anytime, but can i?

you know how much it takes for a sister to say 

some simple words i might even cry to you

but no words in the world could describe, oh how much i miss you...

Author's Note

sorry not sorry for being a little too emotional when it comes to my sis...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

It is terrible when people separate and forget what they were.
"i could tell you anytime, anytime, but can i?
you know how much it takes for a sister to say
some simple words i might even cry to you
but no words in the world could describe, oh how much i miss you.."
I understand the above lines. I need to re-connect with some people dear Grace. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[grace]

You're right dear Coyote. Thank you so much for reading my poem! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Grace.

[Chris Shaw]

Heartfelt words grace about missing your sibling. I have two sisters. When we lived at home there was some rivalry but we got on.in the main. I shared a room with one of them. We divided it in two right down the middle. When I left home, that's when I realised how much I loved and missed them. All these years later we phone and meet up regularly. You know I just want to say to you, get in touch. If you can't tell her how much she is loved and missed by phone, send her a card, but break the ice.because I felt that pain when iI read your stanzas. You convey your feelings well. You made me think of my sisters and that was nice.

Chris

[grace]

haha.. i swear, we had the same thing. this sibling love-hate type relationship is always beautiful. It feels weird when i think of telling her that she is being missed bcoz we dont use that type of language you see, haha. I'd rather tell her to not come back and she'll instantly know that i'm missing her to the core.. But thank you so so much for reading my poems n understanding it :) it really means A LOTT

[Kat]

Hey Grace, when i read this poem i started crying, I don't know what it's like to lose a sister but i know what it's like to lose someone you care deeply about and i understand, that silence is the most painful thing any of us will ever have to endure. When i was reading this i could feel your emotions, reading this i understood your bond with your sister. Grace you have a beautiful gift and i think using your gift to tell people how much you loved your sister is an amazing way to share you rare talent. Please keep writing and please take care dear friend.

[grace]

hey, first of all, thank you so so much for giving such a wonderful review. when someone can understand the emotions and feel it all from the poem, it is the best gift for a poet. and yeah, i do really miss my sister but don't worry, she is totally fine haha but just away in a different country and i dont know when m i gonna see her next and this ques makes me sad.

[Kat]

it's ok but yeah i completely understand that i have really important people in other country's as well so yeah i do understand

[grace]

Thats really nice of you. Thank you

[Kat]

Yeah of course! you're my friend Grace and i'm always here for my friends

[Einstein Noodle]

V9 is stunning within all the others says i! the silence bounces of the walls of homes shared when there is loss .. i am so sorry .. any time you write of your sister .. sorry for your sorrow .. you touch my own soft places .. that silence does change over time .. it is an old adage but ever so true .. comfort can be found in being ok alone .. a place our loved ones who have passed over want us to be ... i am certain of it .. God bless you Grace .. wishing you the best of the day

[grace]

thank you so much for such a commendable review dear! and yeah, my sister is totally fine, just in a different country and i have no idea when m i gonna see her coz of the things going on in this world right now.. thank you so much for reading my poem! it means a lottt!!

[Einstein Noodle]

do you feel connected? tho space and time have you in distant places?

[grace]

yeah, i mean we talk almost everyday but no its not the same at all. i used to be with her 24/7 and than suddenly she's not here and i am alone, i dont know when will i be able to hug her, annoy her and all, so it's like, haha, painful silence. and yeah we do have a big time gap. thanks for asking by the way :)

[Einstein Noodle]

you have a wonderful close relationship ... pretty precious .. i talk with my sis most every day as well ... we're about 1500 miles apart .. the love doesn't change does it .. so grateful for family :)

[grace]

yeah. indeed. you're right, love doesn't change : )

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

This is emotional read, I really like this write... it's touching

[grace]

Thank you so much for reading it! Means a lot!!