Canvas

You're being blamed for something you didn't do and now all you feel is nothing

lying down on the cold floor

how much more ill will will be poured in me

there's that particular pain in the throat again

feeling of being blamed, terrified, helpless

selling tears, just seeking for a sense of touch 

then endlessly giving away every whim

and there's a heavy part in me

feels empty with a dry shadow

the rainbow divine was just a dream

never knew it would lead me to this place

feels like i am lost in this maze

at the end of which i could find myself again

but how can i get the dry sand for the castles

i've been driven to that phase of cruelty

where all the laws have been threatened 

and right now every deep cut under my skin is wheezing fear

my stumbling blocks are blatantly accused 

my presence feels inanimate

suddenly the weight inside seems like a past

present is just a blow of numbness in my head

the sensational territory has become a hollow space

and like i've been detached to reality

feeling unmoored, scared, inappropriate 

my soul is like a blank space

searching for harmonies

but its not inclined to be just a white canvas

and so it'll be waiting to find the artist again

Author's Note

this is something really personal.. tell me what you think about it.. i'll be waiting for the comments!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

All of us are a empty canvas. We are painting who we are and who will we be.
"my soul is like a blank space
searching for harmonies
but its not inclined to be just a white canvas
and so it'll be waiting to find the artist again"
I liked the above lines and I believe. Our canvas is ever-changing and we will find our proper place someday. Thank you dear Grace for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[grace]

You are right! Our canvas is ever-changing.. Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

We are always changing dear Grace and you are welcome.

[Shelley Warner]

Wow, Grace, you're just 15 and you're expressing your deepest emotions. I can hear pain and maybe abuse toward you (or the narrator). I like the hopeful ending that you are a canvas with the art ready to be painted. I hope you continue with your writing and if you go to college in a few years, major in English with a writing emphasis. I went back to college in my 60's and really enjoyed writing classes and literature classes.

[grace]

Thank you so much Shelly for reviewing and appreciating it!! :)

[Shelley Warner]

Happy to do it

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Wonderfully written Grace, this is solid writing. It captures the angst of depression and its grip on the mind, body, and heart of an individual. If you suffer from it find solace in your art. Continue to give voice to your pain. Share it with others who suffer in similar ways. And seek help or even a shoulder of support to lay on. It is not the end of the world but a tiny fragment of passage. Keep on writing and never be afraid to express yourself and your truth.

[grace]

I am grinning ear to ear after reading your reviews. People like you keep me going and I am extremely thankful for motivating me to write more. Your words somehow had a beautiful impact on me and now I am feeling more confident on expressing myself this way! Thank you so much!!