Take My Hand

Riddled with pain I call Your name,

When can I win this game?

My life is torn and brought You shame

Sin as visible as the tail of nine cats,

Brought down on Him like a cane.

“Take My hand.”

 

Malevolent torture consumes my being

If only it were leaving!

Pain is constantly conceiving

If only I kept believing!

“Take My hand.”

 

Why won’t you listen?

I call to you, but nothing!

Is there something that I am missing?!

Just please LORD, give me something!

“Take My hand.”

 

Frustrated and torn, my pain grows deeper

Maybe I should call the reaper?

Contemplate becoming a leaper…

Or…maybe…just maybe, my life is a keeper?!

 

“My child, you called, I answered.

Long ago, as you requistioned.

My child it was you who did not believe

Did not trust in me.

Refused to see.

My hand has been long outstretched.

It has not been a gruesome test.

I love you still my child.

My love is amaranthine and paradisiacal.

You just need to learn to let go.

And simply let me.

My sweetest child

Take My hand and let Me.”

By underwriter    2/1/2011

Reviews

[jessicamarie19]

I too would like to address a critical comment that I believe to be unfair - I like the extended final stanza. The shorter stanzas at the beginning fit the mood of the words - they have a quicker tempo, they rush forward and cut off for breath, like someone who is emotional and overwhelmed. The last stanza is calming and flowing and helps to resolve the dissonance from the beginning - again, something I feel is very fitting for the piece. And besides, when it's God we're having a conversation with, we should always let Him do the majority of the talking!

Thanks for sharing!

[James]

This is an astonishing write. It reads how faith feels like.
Expressing the pain to hold on to the faith and reward for enduring.
And a touch of doubt in between.
To show His love is not just "in the now" but in the future
Referring to: "My hand has been long outstretched."
Only my opinion, of course.
Lovely write, m'lady
James

[An owl on the moon]

Your words reveal the depth of deepest pain, reaching out for help.. blinded to the hand of the LORD reaching out... Beautifully woven like a psalm...

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

What an eye opener for all who reads! If we will listen god is always there with an out stretched hand! Great Write!

[FleetingReveries]

This poem is so lovely! The emotion was conveyed very beautifully and I was personally fond of the rhyme and repetition :)

[KAREN]

Excellent and can give people strength that is calling out for help! Excellent read and write!

[Gone]

Having just read Twilights comments I feel the need to address them. First I would like to ask if he actually read the poem? I do not see that anything was just placed for effect. There is rhyme, although it is obvious that a formulaic structure has not been used on purpose. Poems do not have to follow any rigid set of rules. Something he actually admits in his review! This being the case why raise the point? I see no indication of the prtagonist having any kind of ilness let alone a terminal one. I could not disagree more. I also found the tone overly critical and would advise you Underwriter, not to take it to heart.

[Twilight]

A few of the words in this piece have blatantly been placed, just for their "effect". Also, why is the closing verse so long? Also, why the need for it to be significantly longer than the others? Almost none of the lines actually rhyme, although that may not have been important to the writer in this case? Indeed, some very meaningful poetry has been written in the past, without an actual need to rhyme or follow a formulaic structure. Overall, I did feel the psychological trauma and tension expressed by the protagonist (whilst reading). From the descriptions of pain here, I had the impression that the protagonist has a terminal illness of some kind? It may well be some form of cancer, which the writer had in mind? Either way, thankyou for sharing an emotive and thought-provoking poem with us! Keep writing!

[Gone]

Nice writing and well done on the new badge. You beat me to it!