Yin and Yang

Read if you need some encouragement :)

Sometimes, I fear that I will never be okay. As soon as I feel like my life is starting to come together and things are finally falling into place, my life slowly falls apart. Coming together, and then undoing itself. Stable, yet unstable. Okay, but not really okay. There are days where it feels like living my life is impossible. I might get through it, I might not. Maybe my sad story will have a happy ending, maybe it won't. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. 

Don't worry though, life is just like that. There will be days where you feel like the universe is just sabotaging your whole life, like the whole world is out to get you. It's not, but sometimes it feels like it. And it's okay. Take a deep breath, it's okay. At some point, we all feel this way. Some people get it worse than others, and for that I am so sorry. But please do not fold under that pressure. Don't lose sight of what matters most to you in your life. 

One day you will find strength in places where you can't find strength in yourself, you absolutely must. Whenever you do find that thing or things that keep you strong enough to keep going, never let go of those things... ever. Some people find strength in their friends and/ or family. Some people find strength in their work, or their future goals. That is your light at the end of the tunnel. You need to follow that light. That light will always be there waiting for you, searching for you, it will always be with you. No matter how dark your tunnel gets, your light will forever accompany you. You are never alone, not even in your darkest times. You are going to be okay. Whatever your darkness is, it'll work itself out.

This is not a question of faith or anything like that, this is simply the rule of life. Nothing lasts forever, not even good things. You will have very happy times in your life, and you will have very disappointing times in your life. That's just how life works, it's a burdensome truth but it's one of the most important truths. On the bright side, these things do not last forever. To be fair, some of your hardships will feel excruciatingly long... but it'll pass.

My point is, hang on tight to your tightrope. There is so much life to live, so much life worth living. You will have to go through some really, really bad things to get to the good stuff later but it does get better later. There will come a time where your bad days won't be so bad anymore, and you will feel so immensely grateful. You will feel all the peace and serenity that you have been waiting for your whole life. Like I said, getting there won't be easy, but the struggle is so worth it. You just have to hang on long enough to see for yourself. 

So please, live your life fearlessly. Say "yes" a little more, go out more, take care of yourself more, protect yourself more. Be brave and be bold. Set goals and be ambitious. Recognize that your possibilities are endless, timeless. Be mindful of yourself and the world around you. Preserve healthy boundaries, but let your guard down a little too. Take risks. Life is not long enough... live it the best way you can. You will never forgive yourself if you don't. And remember this: everyday you are gifted is another chance. Another chance to try again, or be better, live a little better, be kinder, be more humble, more grateful. If you are reading this, then that means you haven't run out of time yet.

I express this from experience. I have been through many good things, and I have been through a LOT of bad things. I take none of it for granted. Having a crappy life humbled me in the best way. My hardships made me stronger and braver. My hardships helped me become a better person. More grateful, more conscious. I hope that everybody else in the world can experience this, too. Good people go through bad things, and bad people go through bad things. At some point, life gets a little sour for all of us, but it gets sweet later. That is a promise. Keep following that light, keep walking through that tunnel. You are on the right path, take your time and you will make it to where you need to go.

If you read all of this, I sincerely hope that whatever hardships you are going through, have gone through, or will go through will resolve itself in due time. I hope that you find whatever peace it is that you need and that you face your life bravely and fearlessly. I hope that you become self sufficient and are able to find happiness even in the darkest places, even if you are that "dark place". You will be okay, everything will turn out just fine and you will be just fine. I promise.

Author's Note

Please go easy on the grammar, I'm just venting.

Reviews

[Lackadaisical Lenny]

I'm about it. It's a very real vent or musing or whatever people want to call it. I enjoy them, it's like reading someone's journal entry, that's the only place people get really open with themselves. dig it.

[A.J. Spencer]

This piece was deep. Its so hard to get out of dark places, especially with years like this one while in the middle of a pandemic. Great job speaking very true words!