Chapter XIV

Chapter XIV

          “What child is this, who lays on Mary’s lap, is sleeping…” Willow turned the dial down on the radio until the words died down into a murmur.

          “I guess this won’t be too bad.” January said nicely.

          Willow’s sculpture class had to put up Christmas trees in the common rooms of the dorms. Only seven from the class had showed to put up the tree in January’s dorm.

          A skinny guy had dragged the torn box across campus and now it barely looked good enough to carry the tree anymore.

          Another guy had brought the plastic box with decorations.

          It was January’s job to draw the tree after they were done; the sculpture teacher had asked her to.

          They were all arguing over what to do. One wanted to place a star on top of the tree while another wanted to put a black Jesus on top of it.

          When one girl talked about it she referred to it as a ‘holiday tree’. Someone else complained that there should be a menorah the whole time.

          January was happy Willow just stood back and put the decorations where she was told.

          There was almost a fistfight over the color of the tree skirt.

          By the time they were done all seven were sick of each other. Thus they called off putting the last tree up.

          After the other left Willow sat down by January.

          “I hate it when they act stupid like that.” January began.

          Willow chewed on her nail and nodded. “The guys in my class are real cocky.”

          “All cocky guys go here. I don’t believe an guy at ABAU isn’t.”

          January began on her work and Willow watched.

          In her childhood Christmas tree sparkled like diamonds from the lights, the ornaments looked like miniature pieces of art. The final tree looked magical with a bit of everyone’s personality in it.

          This tree was placed in front of the glass planes (the whole right wall is nothing but glass planes). The snow outside was reflecting the bright sun until you couldn’t look out the window.

          January still tried to work on it. As it ended up because of the light she came back at night.

          At night the commons room was more full, but the she was able to see the tree better. The moon sat full and wide behind the black Jesus.

          She drew the tree but in the drawing she moved the moon so that it was slightly eclipsed by the tree.

          All the while people were studying and carrying on loud conversations. Down the hall people were playing music loudly.

          January never heard it thought because she had her earphones in. Near the end of the drawing she felt a tap on her shoulder.

          Before turning around she packed her color pencils into her pouch.

          “You’re January, aren’t you?”

          It was one of Jared’s friends. Immediately she felt sick to her stomach. The room spun and her mouth grew dry.

          “Why the hell do you want to know?”

          He stepped back. “Hay b***h I just wanted to know where your man is.”

          “What the… Are you stupid! Who the hell are you talking about?’

          “Jared!” He yelled. His fist was turning white and January half expected that fist to fly. “I wanna know where he is.”

          “Are you stupid? I would be the devil’s w***e then date Jared! Get the f**k away from me!”

          January kept on screaming until the DA showed up. The top-heavy women stepped into the three feet between January and Jared’s friend.

          “Stop it, now! I’ll call campus police if you don’t!”

          January stared the guy down. She tried to give him her most nasty look.

          “Hay, hay she’s just a crazy b***h!”

          “He just come up to me and started asking questions…” She started back. She began babbling off random words that meant nothing at all.

          The DA stayed between the two until January paused for a breath.

          “If you two won’t stop acting like children I will call the campus police.”

          January stopped talking and just breathed. The friend looked red with anger.

          Xandera showed up with her arm around a boy’s waist.

          “What’s happening?”

          “Go back to your room.” The DA answered her. There were many people standing around watching but Xandera was the only one to speak to any of the three.

          “She’s my roommate.”

          The DA sighed and January could see the tension drain from her face. “Take your friend with you.”

          Xandera let go of the guy and wrapped her arm around January’s shoulder.

          “C’mon girl. Let’s go.”

          The boy followed January and Xandera to their room. Before closing the door Xandera kissed the boy good-bye and promised to call him before 10.

          January sat on her bed and began to cry. Xandera sat by her and like a mother she placed her arm around her shoulder.

          “Tell me what happened.”

          January knew she could say nothing about Jared raping her. If he hadn’t done so she doubts she would have reacted like she did earlier.

          “He’s Jared’s friend.”

          “So you broke up?” Xandera asked carefully.

          January wanted to say something else but instead she answered, “We never really dated…”

          “But it still hurts…?”

          January wasn’t going to say that, in fact she wasn’t sure what she was going to follow up that statement with.

          “You know back last year I was in love, real love. I gave him my virginity. “ She pointed a finger at her nose. “He used to kiss my nose and I would laugh at all his stupid jokes.” Xandera paused again and January wondered if she was about to cry but instead she continued on by saying “But I just woke up one day and realized he was a loser and I could do better. I quit talking to Jared. He’s such a pervert. He talks about his porn all the time and he drinks way too much.”

          By now January began to cry again.

          “Aww please don’t cry. Look at me! I’m dating again and I haven’t thought about my ex in so long…”

          That didn’t really help but January bottled up her emotions to make Xandera did a good job of consoling her. 

          January ended up going to bed and just thinking about her mother. She wondered how Lily would react to her pregnancy. She wondered if Lily would blame her.

          Now she is almost at the end of her first trimester save two weeks.

          That night, before falling asleep, she said a prayer to St. Agnes.

“O glorious St. Agnes, you served God in humility and confidence on earth and are now in the enjoyment of His beatific Vision in heaven because you persevered till death and gained the crown of eternal life. Remember now the dangers that surround me in the vale of tears, and intercede for me in my needs and troubles. Amen.”

She went ahead and prayed to St. while she was at it.

“Lord, our God, you graciously chose St. Dymphna as patroness of those afflicted with mental and nervous disorders. She is thus an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who ask her intercession.

Please grant, Lord, through the prayers of this pure youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all suffering such trials, and especially those for whom we pray, such as myself. I beg you, Lord, to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna on my behalf. Please grant me patience in my sufferings and resignation to your divine will. Please fill me with hope, and grant me the relief and cure they so much desire.

I ask this through Christ our Lord who suffered agony in the garden. Amen.

After the prayers were said and she cried just a little more she fell asleep and came upon a full night of nightmares.

Once the dawn came, the sun bright and pure January never felt more dead.

She packed for her day but she was careful put pack everything she would need so that she wouldn’t have to come back unless she needed to.

 

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

The darkness is getting tighter and tighter around her. Before long she'll be drowning in it. I hope she finds some light soon.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. I hope the truth come out soon. Hard for sadness and disappointment to built up when you are alone with great problems. A strong chapter. I did like her anger. A excellent chapter.
Coyote